S3 EP9: Digital Dramas and Family Feuds

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Welcome to Jerkin' Around, a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you and Crystal makes fun of me the whole time and it's great and it's real.

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Welcome to Jerkin Round.

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Welcome, I was trying to.

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Tisha and I we ride together when we come to this recording and then we talk about so many good things in the car, so some of these things we tried not to talk about in the car.

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So I'm excited to talk to him about her.

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I was trying to talk to her and she's like save it.

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You guys, we I recently got a Tesla.

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This isn't the story I've been waiting to tell you, but I recently got a Tesla and we drove it here today.

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We because we is a loose term.

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The Tesla drove itself.

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The Tesla drove us.

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The Tesla drove us here.

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Tisha has the stomach flu, jet.

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I hope you don't get it.

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No, I'm better today.

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She had the whole thing.

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Yesterday we had to reschedule the podcast.

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Yeah, so she doesn't ever let me drive, never, ever lets me drive, so but I'm sick.

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She's so sick she doesn't even know what day it is.

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So I'm like I'll drive us today, but I'll let the Tesla drive which I never let it drive so that we don't swerve, because I swerve a lot.

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And so it drove us here and it was safe, I didn't even do anything.

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It literally drove us here and we got here faster, yeah, and it was very less jerky.

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Normally we're like jerking into the lane.

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I'm like why are we jerking?

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It's so scary and we're going at like a high speed so I think the car's going to like flip it was.

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There was no jerking it was.

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Everybody says I'm a bad driver.

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It's awful, it was like very smooth transitions.

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Normally the transitions aren't that smooth.

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No, we're slamming the brakes.

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Really we're going, really we're trying to get over.

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Yes, so.

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So when I was little, the little car games you know that you play at the arcade, I can't stay in the lines the car was, and I just think it's like God created me to not stay in the lines, like in art.

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As a kid I got a C because I couldn't color in the darn lines.

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Yeah, I'm just.

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I feel like Kennedy's, like me, yeah, or your daughter.

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We're not staying in the lines, we like to live outside the lines.

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And I support that.

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But I feel like there's like a safety element to staying in the lines while driving.

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I feel like it's like life or death, but I do think this is a great car for you, it is a good car for me.

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I could never own this car because I didn't really want one.

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Yeah, there's so many things I want to talk about even touch the wheel the whole time.

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Pretty, much.

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No touching the wheel.

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I didn't touch the wheel yet, but what's crazy is there's so many topics coming to my head.

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So if I stop looking at the road, the camera Tesla knows, and then they warn you that if you don't start looking at the road, it's going to stop driving so you couldn't fully just be like on your phone.

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Yeah, it won't want you involved watching, watching.

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I even was looking at tisha on my phone and it was like get looking and then, but I didn't have to have my hands.

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But there's so many things about this that we'll just go right into the robots.

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The blow up we were in vegas this weekend and there was that Tesla that blew up and Elon went in to get the camera footage but I don't know what it came from.

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That's where I learned there was a camera.

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I didn't even know there was a camera in the car.

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I wonder if you can access footage, like if Maddie's with a boy, and I'm like, hey, elon, yeah, check what they did last night, because say goodbye well, I feel like you can access it, but what's more concerning is are they accessing it without our consent?

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oh, for sure, like Alexa knows way too much.

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Totally.

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We have Alexas in our house and I'll be like Alexa say good night to the kids or whatever um speaker, and she's like Crystal, I'll say that and then she knows it's me.

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I don't say this is Crystal.

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Yeah, there's a lot of AI things coming up and they're watching and Alexa would be.

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She's probably watching.

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What you and Kyle doing is just like what the.

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This is some freaky.

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She can't believe it so Tisha and I gosh, I have like four topics.

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I don't want to lose the robot and Paige and Craig.

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But no, Tisha and I talked after the last episode.

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I think or no, in life she always uses like sex as a negotiating tool for Ben.

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Oh yeah, we got to talk about that and so she was telling me like hey, we talked about it on the podcast last week Did you Like I'm giving it up too easily?

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Yes, yeah, and you told Kyle, kyle was so mad he's like no, I get what I want.

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We went on a ski trip together and we were telling the guys, Kyle and Ben, our husbands about the last podcast, how I use it as like a hey, put away my suitcase from the trip and I'll give you a little.

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He puts away your suitcase for the yeah and then he knows he gets.

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Does he unpack your whole suitcase?

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He gets a little treat, yeah, and like that's usually a closet, so it's a little special and so we'll do it in the closet because he like put away the suitcase, you know.

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So all day are you just negotiating things?

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Kind of, and so we were telling Kyle and Ben this, and Kyle is beside himself, he's pissed, is beside himself.

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He's like, first of all, crystal just does these things for no reason, which I'm like what is wrong with you?

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What girl's doing that?

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Like it's crazy.

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And then and then so I'm trying to tell crystal no no, no, you got to take it away like yeah, you gotta make it more like oh, you've given it all and it's like there's no, you gotta rein it back in.

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And then ben is, and then kyle's telling ben, you don't need to put up with this man, you should be getting all that for no reason, like, oh, he's still mad about it, oh, but it was just funny because we were both telling the other person and then so ben tried to act like did he?

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yeah, yeah I was like what if I was like you, let you out, right, I get what I want, you're gonna do it for no reason.

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I was like okay, buddy, you know, no, I'm not and guy was like but good for you.

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Ever try to use that as a negotiating blah blah and I tried to be like I'll give you something special, and he's like oh yeah, like last night, like for no reason it's fine, I can't elaborate anymore, I can't either, but boy, boy, yeah.

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Different strokes for different folks, totally and all the strokes for kyle, he's getting all the things the whole kitten caboodle for nothing, I mean.

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But what do you use then to get him to do what you want?

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He doesn't so horrible.

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So you just no wonder why I say, when Kyle says no, it's no, yeah, I'm like yeah.

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Ben says no, I'm like, oh, I gotta go to like.

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There's like levels, you know?

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Yeah, I don't know.

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First level is like I'll be nice to you.

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The second level is like the exit, like that thing.

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That's like it's not really a thing that, so that that's probably the only thing that is left.

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That's just not gonna happen.

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Shoot.

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So all the other things I mean yeah, you're just doing them.

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So yeah, just like we can go in the closet anytime yeah, so and like, do the all the things.

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True, I'm being honest when I ask you this how do you get him to do something when he says no, like how do you change his mind?

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I'm saying okay, so I fight with him.

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Like we have to discuss it for days oh, that's way less fun it's not fun.

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Yeah, no, we have to be like Kyle.

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This really matters to me.

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That's why I didn't go to the Bahamas.

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Oh, you know it was like, no, oh yeah, no, and I even do with our friends.

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I'm like I'm not gonna use names to protect the privacy of those involved, but I'll be like, hey, let's all go do this in our, in a group.

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And then I say, hey, jack, susie will do this if you guys can come, and then Susie's like hold the phone here, but then you know what would she do?

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The same things that I'll do what go in the closet.

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I mean, if I called Kyle right now, you'll hear him get so mad.

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I can't that's crazy.

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So you have to fight to get what you want yes, always don't you notice?

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That's real.

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No, I'm being serious like I'm I.

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I do notice now that you're bringing it to my attention, but I'm genuinely like wow, because I don't ever fight to get what I want.

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Yes, it's all about the no.

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I have to fight for everything I want that he doesn't want.

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Yeah, oh my gosh, it's hours of discussion and I don't think I've ever fought to get what I want.

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That's so interesting.

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I never have not.

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Like it's a whole thing.

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Yeah, it's annoying.

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Oh, that's so annoying if I'm really nice and if I make it be his idea that I might, but no, that's why it's always no.

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On certain things I'm like no, I also know.

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Yeah, like it's one of those relationships where it looks like I'm the strong one, but really he is Like I can get him to do things, but not the big things.

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Yeah, I know, yeah, no, if I said, I don't even know what I would say Like okay, we can.

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He'd be like, okay, like if I tried to call him right now and be like, hey, if you do this, I'll do this.

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Let's go to like San Diego this weekend.

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And he'll be like, no, you're crazy.

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And then I'll be like, hey, we can you can see.

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What would you say, we can?

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I would probably throw out like a number.

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Like a number, what?

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Like a number, like a oh, 79?

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Yeah, oh yeah.

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I would say we can, and then he would say okay, fine, yeah.

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No, it's like crazy, it's like magic yeah, that's just normal interesting normal around these parts.

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Yeah, not like the number, but those things go on.

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Okay, let's move on.

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I'm sweating, okay.

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Yeah, I want to talk about Paige and Craig's breakup.

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It's big news and if you've listened to this a lot, you know that I love Paige DeSorbo and I love Craig Conover.

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They're both pages from Summer House.

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She also did Winter House.

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She also is a host of Giggly Squad a podcast that we talk about.

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We went to their show and then Craig is on Southern Charm, which is one of my favorite shows, as well as Summer House are.

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They're probably like my two favorite reality shows, and Winter House, which they've both been on.

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You were very excited when this match.

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Yes, it was like a match made in heaven for me.

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But if you've listened, I've also expressed on the podcast that something is weird with their relationship.

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And now it's true.

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I knew page wasn't gonna marry him because she wouldn't like.

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There was so, so many things.

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If you watch the shows, they were never moving together.

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They were never moving together.

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When they first started dating.

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She said she would move because I've rewatched now.

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She said she would move to North Carolina, south Carolina, south Carolina, south Carolina.

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When you know like they started dating because everyone's like if you date him, right, you know, and she's like, oh, I'd move in a second you know, and she's like oh, I'd move in a second, like she wanted to marry him right away, south Carolina.

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But Giggly Squad Paige's fame level was a lot different back then.

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So I don't want the gigglers to come for me because this is something that's been going on this week in social media.

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So if you talk negatively about Paige, it's not good.

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No, but I I would say on the breakup, I am team Craig.

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If there was a side, I love Paige to death, but I just think I could.

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I think she knew she wasn't gonna marry him or thought there was something weird.

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I don't think we ever know.

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Like when you're with a guy and you think you're not gonna marry him, it's like you try to talk yourself into thinking it's a good idea.

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I've done that where I'm like well, it'll be fine once we get married, this will go away or that will go away or this will feel better.

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But when you're with the right guy, it's so clear as day that you're going to marry them and that they're right, that it's like you.

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I wish I could tell girls wait for that feeling, because you'll never have a doubt.

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So when she went after they broke up, she went on her podcast and said the reason they broke up is because she's focused on her career.

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She's said the reason they broke up is because she's focused on her career.

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She's not ready to settle down.

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He wants to settle down.

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She's really into her career and doesn't want that.

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Do you think that that, if you're with the right person that that goes away.

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Yes, like if Hannah is just as into her career, right which Hannah has really come from behind and speaking.

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I love Hannah.

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Hannah wasn't always my favorite.

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Now, hannah Bren, hannah Brenner yeah, that's her last name.

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She also is a comedian, burn Burn, burner Burner, and she has a podcast out there that's good on her own, and then she has this.

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But Hannah got married like right away.

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They started dating.

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She's like he's the one Got engaged, got married Right, supports her career.

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It's just not a thing, right?

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Hannah's waiting to have kids for Paige.

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I think that part's a little like weird, you know, and like we had that where I was trying to wait and then it all worked out where we had kids together.

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But, um, I just think, yeah, I think that Craig on southern term it's always talked about how his friends were like something's weird.

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She doesn't come on trips with us.

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They stopped filming in each other's shows, which is so weird.

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Like who doesn't want to be with their boyfriend over the weekend?

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Yeah, like I would do anything to not have my boyfriend out without me too.

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Totally like make sure you're here and nobody cares about her career, like you care, but like when you're in love, you don't care about anything.

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No, nothing, it's like whatever, I'm just like you care about that number and she's like not that number yeah, and not like she's old, but she's not like a spring chicken you know, that's the part when you're in your mid-30s, early to mid-30s, I feel like thinking about settling down is a really normal natural yes, the eggs yes, so, craig, in this season of Southern Time, he froze his sperm.

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Wow, yeah, because he was getting ready to settle down and Paige was pushing it off.

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I think it just wasn't the one.

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But, moving on from that, whatever you guys think about that topic is whatever.

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But Tisha has been scared that we're going to get sued from the podcast, so we've been editing some things a little more, editing everything.

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I know Well because my conspiracies, the things I discuss on here, versus the things that I really believe in my head, I can't even touch on those things here because it would be like, first of all, they probably put me in a sane asylum Like Kanye, yeah, or and or.

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I would be killed, or, like many others, I would be really threatened, like I already was, so Called old.

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Yeah, so we have been editing, but I got a really got mad last week.

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Somebody said that she cheated with this other guy, and she's usually doesn't care what anybody says.

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I told you yeah, and she got on there and said see you in court.

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Yeah To the person.

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Oh, I crap my pants If Paige said that to me, if Justin says that to me, Bieber, I'm done.

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Yeah, oh, i'm'm so done, but she was talking about our podcast yesterday.

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She's like I didn't mean it, I just wanted to scare him.

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Oh, she's like, I'm not gonna waste my time on that.

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Oh yeah, so I wanted you to know that.

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Oh yeah, that helps that's not a big.

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They're not gonna do it about me and, like Tyler told us, if Justin's coming for us, it's like there's a reason, like maybe it was.

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It would make him look worse, yeah, and it would give us more credibility.

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I don't want anyone to sue me.

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No, but moving forward, yeah.

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So moving on with the Tesla, the robots is something we've talked about.

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Kim got one, but I was watching a thing yesterday and you told me the stats that there will be.

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What was that statistic Alleged?

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Allegedly there was a video on Instagram of Elon saying that, like, in 40 years, there's going to be an equivalent amount of robots to people in the world, which I don't know if that was an AI video, because they make those now.

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Yeah, and remember the one you thought Chris was like?

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Look at this video the plane.

00:15:15.836 --> 00:15:19.667
Well, it's scary, though, how much AI is taking over like everything.

00:15:19.687 --> 00:15:27.110
Videos look really real yeah but anyways, there was a video of him allegedly saying that, and I don't know if he really said that, but but if that's true, that's very scary.

00:15:27.311 --> 00:15:35.149
So I was going to watch this show on Netflix the other day and it was like how this guy fell in love with his robot because and we were saying that about Kim, like I could see that.

00:15:35.450 --> 00:15:35.650
Right.

00:15:36.033 --> 00:15:38.400
Kim Kardashian allegedly falling in love with her robot.

00:15:38.400 --> 00:15:41.905
But I think it would become like a companion, just like an assistant.

00:15:41.905 --> 00:15:45.831
I think a lot of these people have their assistant and then they don't celebrities.

00:15:45.831 --> 00:15:48.895
They don't need like their husband anymore, like Bethany Frankel.

00:15:48.895 --> 00:15:59.601
When we used to watch the show Bethany's reality show years ago, jason Hoppy was like I thought they were so cute together but she had so many people like feeding her ego and like doing what she wants that she didn't need.

00:15:59.601 --> 00:16:03.289
Like a husband Like you without Ben would be lost.

00:16:03.450 --> 00:16:04.972
Yeah, but if you had an assistant.

00:16:04.972 --> 00:16:05.354
He's my robot.

00:16:05.740 --> 00:16:10.851
Yeah, yeah, and I think, like God intends that marriage to be like your counterpart.

00:16:10.851 --> 00:16:25.667
Yeah, so if you have this robot that does all these things for you, right, and I'm sure, like people use other types of mechanical things to get their needs met, I can't imagine that people don't end up doing weird things with robots.

00:16:25.667 --> 00:16:30.551
We're going to end this, for sure, but the robot will cook and clean the house.

00:16:30.551 --> 00:16:36.052
And the robot in the Netflix show or whatever that I was going to watch, she's like a girl, was it Megan Fox?

00:16:36.052 --> 00:16:37.674
No, is there one about her.

00:16:37.700 --> 00:16:39.783
Yeah, there's one about her and she's like maybe it is.

00:16:39.783 --> 00:16:40.485
It's like a horror movie though.

00:16:40.807 --> 00:16:47.586
Maybe it was I movie, though, maybe it was, I don't think so and it was like hello, mr Spencer, let me do that for you.

00:16:47.586 --> 00:16:49.273
And it looked like Megan from Suits, you know, in the outfit.

00:16:49.273 --> 00:16:52.523
And then it was like he's like I gotta go, I gotta take the kids to school.

00:16:52.523 --> 00:16:55.450
She's like, mr Spencer, I'll take the kids to school.

00:16:55.450 --> 00:16:57.062
And like they fall in love.

00:16:57.062 --> 00:17:00.759
And the robots doing the laundry, taking the kids to school, doing homework, yeah.

00:17:00.759 --> 00:17:02.990
Doing playing toys with the kids, yeah.

00:17:02.990 --> 00:17:03.712
And I'm like, oh.

00:17:03.913 --> 00:17:06.385
So then I saw I wouldn't mind the cooking and the cleaning.

00:17:06.445 --> 00:17:07.511
No, it was amazing on.

00:17:07.511 --> 00:17:12.087
Elon talks about how smart the robot is and I was like I would buy one.

00:17:13.130 --> 00:17:18.605
They're $30,000 yeah, that's a lot of money, but not that expensive to have a robot everything done in your home.

00:17:18.785 --> 00:17:25.848
Yeah, like, think of what you spend on a cleaner right, think of what you spend on all these things, right, but then like, are we parents anymore?

00:17:25.848 --> 00:17:26.971
Yeah, it's all.

00:17:26.971 --> 00:17:27.711
Good night, lucy.

00:17:27.711 --> 00:17:32.621
You know, it's all, dear god, pray for lucy and the math homework.

00:17:32.740 --> 00:17:33.162
I'm not.

00:17:33.162 --> 00:17:38.681
I'm fine with the robot, the robot's promising ben like ben, have a good day at work.

00:17:38.701 --> 00:17:40.904
See you in the closet the robot's like.

00:17:41.306 --> 00:17:44.993
the robot doesn't do its chores anymore, it just rubs its pen.

00:17:47.023 --> 00:17:47.670
How many women?

00:17:48.074 --> 00:17:50.969
would be like the robot's laying there eating bonbons.

00:17:50.969 --> 00:17:54.951
Ben, I'll blow you later if you just take care of that.

00:17:54.951 --> 00:18:01.891
The women are like the robot's on tonight I'm taking a night off.

00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:06.346
When the girls are on, when they're shark week, the robot steps in.

00:18:06.346 --> 00:18:09.551
Oh I'm crying.

00:18:09.551 --> 00:18:11.055
The kids are yelling.

00:18:11.055 --> 00:18:12.266
The robot's disciplining them.

00:18:12.266 --> 00:18:14.606
Ben's making the robot coffee now.

00:18:16.221 --> 00:18:17.386
The robot needs coffee.

00:18:22.800 --> 00:18:29.201
The robot's picking up Fox from school yesterday when he was sick oh gosh, it could get weird though.

00:18:29.201 --> 00:18:31.308
Oh, I'm crying, I'm nervous for the robots.

00:18:31.470 --> 00:18:36.367
I know I don't want a robot, I'm scared, okay I think you would take one for sure.

00:18:37.070 --> 00:18:42.326
You would be like, well, I don't want one, but I really don't like doing these other things that's like cooking dinner.

00:18:42.326 --> 00:18:43.289
The robot can cook dinner.

00:18:43.289 --> 00:18:44.060
Imagine the recipes.

00:18:44.080 --> 00:18:47.028
Yeah, it would be amazing because they could just like access the internet, my kids would doing these other things that's true, like cooking dinner.

00:18:47.028 --> 00:18:47.549
The robot can cook dinner.

00:18:47.549 --> 00:18:48.070
Imagine the rest of bees.

00:18:48.070 --> 00:18:48.612
Yeah, it would be amazing.

00:18:48.612 --> 00:18:49.714
Yeah, because they could just like access the internet.

00:18:49.734 --> 00:18:50.236
My kids would be happy.

00:18:50.236 --> 00:18:50.718
They're all tacos again.

00:18:50.718 --> 00:18:51.480
Have you seen the chip, the brain chip?

00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:56.721
Yeah, it's a little scary, but it was like if everyone has a brain chip, how do you not have one?

00:18:56.721 --> 00:19:01.385
They're all way smarter, but I'm not getting one.

00:19:01.625 --> 00:19:06.648
If there's any sort of chip that's going in the brain or the hand, it's a very red flag for me.

00:19:06.648 --> 00:19:07.470
Totally I agree.

00:19:07.650 --> 00:19:08.651
Okay, one more thing.

00:19:08.651 --> 00:19:10.132
Back to Craig and Paige.

00:19:10.132 --> 00:19:15.736
I also wanted to say hearing like watching their relationship, paige would.

00:19:15.736 --> 00:19:17.017
They would always talk about marriage.

00:19:17.017 --> 00:19:18.417
They had, like their kids' names.

00:19:18.417 --> 00:19:22.986
Oh yeah, they had all these things and I feel like it's such a relatable thing to the younger generation.

00:19:22.986 --> 00:19:24.990
I would say 25 to 35.

00:19:24.990 --> 00:19:32.792
When you're in a relationship and we've talked about this before it's better to be first single than like the last one single, than first one divorced.

00:19:32.792 --> 00:19:38.604
So it's better to wait for the right one than it is to just settle because you're worried about being lost to get married.

00:19:38.925 --> 00:19:50.786
And don't play house I think that's the thing you were saying is, when you're together and you're constantly talking about marriage but it's not happening, that's kind of a red flag, and I've had boyfriends that did that.

00:19:50.926 --> 00:19:51.228
So have I.

00:19:51.359 --> 00:20:04.430
I remember we were at the wedding, the one you and you jumped out on the freeway and I was with my boyfriend at the time and during the wedding cause I was in the wedding, so I was at the head table, so it was during the reception I was at a different table Cause it was like the wedding party.

00:20:04.430 --> 00:20:20.068
He was texting me like I can't wait for our wedding and you're going to be the mother of my children and all this stuff, and in my head I was like oh and then, but yet he's not proposing yeah, and Ben and I didn't talk about that either to Kyle and I and then he proposed.

00:20:20.910 --> 00:20:26.599
So I feel like when they're talking a lot of talk, it's kind of and that one still didn't get married.

00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:28.203
No, so I don't think it was you.

00:20:28.203 --> 00:20:34.263
No, it was just that they maybe you know, and one of my boyfriends too, that I we talked about marriage.

00:20:34.263 --> 00:20:35.907
He still didn't get married.

00:20:35.907 --> 00:20:36.249
Right?

00:20:36.249 --> 00:20:43.784
It's crazy yeah, I just think, if you're talking about it all the time, do it yeah you don't need to talk about it, like don't talk about the closet, just get doing it.

00:20:43.864 --> 00:20:46.351
I remember one time Ben was building a grill.

00:20:46.351 --> 00:20:56.351
We were dating and we were like early dating, it was probably like a month or a month and he was building a grill in his backyard and he was like wanting me to pick out the stone for the grill.

00:20:56.351 --> 00:21:05.981
And I also was like and I had already done that with other boyfriends where I'm playing house, yeah, boyfriends where I'm playing house and so I was like, no, I'm not picking out your stone, pick out your own stone.

00:21:06.022 --> 00:21:08.349
You don't get my pick out a ring, and then I'll pick out your stone.

00:21:08.460 --> 00:21:16.306
Exactly, you don't get my stone expertise until you put a ring on it, I'm not going to just design your stuff.

00:21:16.326 --> 00:21:17.952
Well, that's what happened with Craig and Paige.

00:21:17.952 --> 00:21:21.662
She like designed his house with them because he wanted it to be their house.

00:21:21.662 --> 00:21:25.365
So she like designed, helped him design every room, helped him design every room, helped him design the backyard.

00:21:25.365 --> 00:21:26.867
They've been doing this for years.

00:21:26.867 --> 00:21:29.590
But he would be like I'm ready to get married and she's like not yet.

00:21:29.590 --> 00:21:33.894
And then on the episode she would cry and say it's not you, I'm just not ready to move.

00:21:33.894 --> 00:21:42.432
So it made sense, right, but I think inside I don't one there's something holding you back.

00:21:45.460 --> 00:21:45.721
With Kyle.

00:21:45.721 --> 00:21:47.888
I knew in two weeks he was the one For sure.

00:21:47.888 --> 00:21:49.867
It was the clearest thing I've ever known in my life.

00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:55.070
And there was no like red, like no one was holding back.

00:21:55.070 --> 00:21:58.102
I think that's the main thing when someone's holding back, it's weird.

00:21:58.622 --> 00:22:07.809
Well, I've told you guys I coach high school girls and I um, they go through all the things and I what I find from when I was in school to now.

00:22:07.809 --> 00:22:11.653
The guys have a lot more power than they did back when we were younger.

00:22:11.653 --> 00:22:14.516
I think the more that girls give everything up so easily.

00:22:14.516 --> 00:22:15.217
Sex.

00:22:17.019 --> 00:22:17.260
I'm also.

00:22:18.022 --> 00:22:25.819
it's like you and Kyle maybe no, but true, no, but you're married.

00:22:25.819 --> 00:22:30.435
But but true, right, like yeah, so they give it up so the guys don't have to work at it anymore.

00:22:30.675 --> 00:22:44.258
Yeah, I don't know about that, they lose their leverage yeah, well, and like I can not, I can talk to you for months, right, and I don't have to have you be my girlfriend and you'll still kiss and do things with me.

00:22:44.258 --> 00:22:45.982
I don't have to pay for you at dinner.

00:22:45.982 --> 00:22:53.896
I don't have to get you flowers on Valentine's day Cause we're talking, cause we're talking, but I get to have the call at the end of the night, the texting all day, the making out and doing whatever.

00:22:54.278 --> 00:23:03.239
Whereas the girl didn't do that, and was like no, I'm only going to save that.

00:23:03.239 --> 00:23:08.184
Studs, they have their pick, because girls are throwing themselves at them, right, and the girls don't realize.

00:23:08.184 --> 00:23:12.818
Like, don't give everyone so many chances and be the one that no one can lock down.

00:23:12.818 --> 00:23:15.814
Right, be the special one that's not easy to get into.

00:23:15.814 --> 00:23:19.082
Right, get into pants, get into the phone, get get the calls back.

00:23:19.082 --> 00:23:21.933
Like make it a little bit more challenging, be different.

00:23:21.933 --> 00:23:23.497
Yes, we were talking about that in the car.

00:23:23.497 --> 00:23:28.423
Like I think it's so easy for girls to just do what everyone else is doing, or guys, but more girls.

00:23:28.423 --> 00:23:33.558
I feel like, yeah, and you know, one of my um girls just got her heart just crushed.

00:23:33.558 --> 00:23:37.332
This, like this week, is like boyfriend of a year.

00:23:37.332 --> 00:23:42.731
You know they broke up and he's hanging out with the other girls and all that, and I I've been there.

00:23:42.731 --> 00:23:43.653
It's just a good reminder.

00:23:43.653 --> 00:23:48.523
Kyle, on his worst day still is way better than anyone ever has been.

00:23:49.750 --> 00:23:53.240
Well, and back to what you said about if everyone's doing it.

00:23:53.240 --> 00:23:54.836
That's the talk I had with my daughter.

00:23:54.836 --> 00:23:59.000
She was on TikTok and I was like I was telling her.

00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:00.103
What'd she do on TikTok?

00:24:00.430 --> 00:24:00.991
She was.

00:24:00.991 --> 00:24:03.941
She's going to be really mad, but she doesn't listen.

00:24:03.941 --> 00:24:07.871
No, she was.

00:24:07.871 --> 00:24:08.874
She's gonna be really mad, but she doesn't listen.

00:24:08.874 --> 00:24:09.434
No, she doesn't listen.

00:24:09.434 --> 00:24:09.596
She was.

00:24:09.596 --> 00:24:11.682
You know how they do the lip syncing on TikTok all the everyone does everyone does it.

00:24:11.682 --> 00:24:12.565
It's so stupid.

00:24:12.565 --> 00:24:18.260
I think you look like such an idiot yeah, and so go on American Idol maybe mate or like something.

00:24:18.461 --> 00:24:18.863
I don't know.

00:24:18.863 --> 00:24:22.881
I don't, yeah, I don't always, unless you're a Montana boy you're not allowed to lip sync.

00:24:22.881 --> 00:24:26.538
That's the only why do they look so good doing it?

00:24:26.538 --> 00:24:27.902
I don't know they're allowed Because you know why.

00:24:27.902 --> 00:24:35.642
The girls want to be the girl he's talking about, right Like, if any of these guys sing in Beautiful Crazy to the camera, I'm like yeah, that's me.

00:24:36.210 --> 00:24:37.717
I'm crazy, you know yeah.

00:24:38.049 --> 00:24:41.435
Oh, every girl loves that song beautiful right.

00:24:41.537 --> 00:24:44.803
So her and her little girlfriend it was just a two-second thing and I was.

00:24:44.803 --> 00:24:51.662
I said girls, I'm gonna tell you this because I love you, but it looks, it just looks needy and weird.

00:24:51.662 --> 00:24:55.416
And they both were said to me everyone does this.

00:24:55.416 --> 00:24:58.564
And I said, great, all those girls doing it are not happy.

00:24:58.564 --> 00:25:01.016
Yeah, not one girl singing on TikTok.

00:25:01.016 --> 00:25:02.219
And I could be wrong.

00:25:02.219 --> 00:25:05.140
I'm all don't make this a clip, but because people are gonna come at me, I'm happy and I lip sync on TikTok and I could be wrong.

00:25:05.140 --> 00:25:08.145
I'm all don't make this a clip, but because people are going to come at me, I'm happy and I lip sync on TikTok.

00:25:08.185 --> 00:25:10.387
Yeah, um, not necessarily.

00:25:10.387 --> 00:25:11.393
It's like they're looking.

00:25:11.393 --> 00:25:14.890
You're looking for likes, you're looking for reposts when you're internally happy.

00:25:14.950 --> 00:25:16.571
You're not lip syncing on TikTok.

00:25:16.571 --> 00:25:18.494
I feel like that's a pretty true statement.

00:25:18.494 --> 00:25:25.125
So I'm trying to tell my daughter cause I do think she's happy Don't do that to try to be like everyone else.

00:25:25.125 --> 00:25:29.991
And I saw this thing on Instagram and it was so good I think I reposted on my story for the jerkies that follow me.

00:25:29.991 --> 00:25:48.056
Um, it said we should make things so one way in like so, not Christian, but we should have such a high standard, or a standard that when they see this standard of the world, it stands out as weird, like the frog effect.

00:25:48.056 --> 00:25:55.680
Yes, so like my daughter, seeing all these people sing lip syncing on Tik TOK, she thinks that's the norm and it's in.

00:25:55.680 --> 00:26:05.832
I want to create such a different environment that she sees it how I see it, how that's weird, you know, yeah, so but it's so hard to do.

00:26:05.852 --> 00:26:06.535
Yeah, I was going to you do that.

00:26:06.535 --> 00:26:07.176
I have no idea, let me know.

00:26:07.176 --> 00:26:17.719
I go back and forth on all that sometimes, because you know we talked about this, where they talk about banning social media for kids until they're 16 and I and we both think it's a great idea, but we both allow our kids to have social media right.

00:26:17.719 --> 00:26:19.892
So really, what does that say about us as?

00:26:19.951 --> 00:26:22.496
parents right, like I need the government to parent my kids.

00:26:22.496 --> 00:26:24.538
Yeah, yeah, and we don't agree with that.

00:26:24.898 --> 00:26:27.643
But here we are, like they would be, and we both said it.

00:26:27.643 --> 00:26:31.795
It would be easier because then we wouldn't be the bad guys for not allowing it, right?

00:26:31.795 --> 00:26:34.922
But I also have the trade off on.

00:26:34.922 --> 00:26:41.451
You know, one of my philosophies in parenting is the things that my parents made not a big deal Like drinking.

00:26:41.451 --> 00:26:42.976
My family's not big drinkers.

00:26:42.976 --> 00:26:48.415
Um, my mom's parents were actually alcoholics, so I think that created that next generation.

00:26:48.415 --> 00:26:52.814
They stayed away from it big time because they saw the negative effects of drinking.

00:26:52.814 --> 00:26:58.172
And so my all, my cousins and I none of us drink, like you know.

00:26:58.172 --> 00:26:59.395
We everybody makes fun.

00:26:59.436 --> 00:27:02.991
I have one drink and it's like very effective to me, right, cause I don't drink a lot.

00:27:02.991 --> 00:27:04.615
Um, and I think we're a little allergic.

00:27:04.615 --> 00:27:05.719
Like my heart rate slows down.

00:27:05.719 --> 00:27:09.217
I don't love the feeling, right, kelly, my cousin has the same.

00:27:09.217 --> 00:27:11.057
It does something weird to our, like blood.

00:27:12.750 --> 00:27:14.798
But my parents didn't make it like this big thing.

00:27:14.798 --> 00:27:20.272
It wasn't like every night going out, don't drink, you know, it wasn't this thing, it was just like drinking is kind them.

00:27:20.272 --> 00:27:22.555
My mom and dad would drink on holidays.

00:27:22.555 --> 00:27:26.980
They would have like one or two glasses of wine, and I remember it's funny, right, and I talked about it.

00:27:26.980 --> 00:27:31.884
This Thanksgiving I said on the podcast my mom was drunk and I felt like it was kind of a negative.

00:27:31.884 --> 00:27:39.872
But like my mom's drunk is two drinks Right, it's not like it's, it's just not a big thing.

00:27:39.892 --> 00:27:41.654
And growing up I was never around it, um, but I I never became a big drinker.

00:27:41.654 --> 00:27:46.084
Like I had my year in college that I drank a lot and went to the bars and I talked about that.

00:27:46.084 --> 00:27:52.038
But other than that, I remember coming home 21, and my mom knew and she was like go to bed, you're whacked.

00:27:52.038 --> 00:27:54.538
Like it wasn't like what did you have to drink?

00:27:54.538 --> 00:28:11.340
And I almost like because it didn't get any attention, I was like, well, this is dumb, right, because I think kids, naturally you want a reaction sometimes, but my, you know the not growing up in church it was very pushed to not have sex till you're married.

00:28:11.361 --> 00:28:27.436
It was seriously in junior high and the first couple years in the youth group I swear every week they told us wait till you're married, abstinence, abstinence, which is beautiful, I agree, but I found that and my parents that was like a big one, like don't have sex till you're married, which I completely agree with, and you know I was.

00:28:27.436 --> 00:28:29.701
I am lucky that I had so many.

00:28:29.701 --> 00:28:38.115
You know I followed it the best I could and um going on with your eye there yeah, I do want to be honest, you know, let's be honest, you know.

00:28:38.737 --> 00:28:44.855
but, um, I that was the thing that I think it made it more forgiven, more forbidden, even eating disorders.

00:28:44.855 --> 00:28:53.859
I feel like they used to show us videos when I was young, in health and like in elementary school, about gymnasts with eating disorders or kids with eating disorders.

00:28:53.859 --> 00:28:56.999
I wouldn't even know what that was if they weren't like telling me about it.

00:28:56.999 --> 00:29:00.032
Right, you know, they were like don't do this, and then I was like, oh well, that girl did that.

00:29:00.053 --> 00:29:02.900
So you're saying when something's talked about forbidden, so much it makes it.

00:29:02.980 --> 00:29:16.115
you want to do it, it gives you the idea of it, you know, and I think sex, the more they talked about sex, the more it was like um, you know, I, a lot of us in youth group, were really good, but we um, some people I know, didn't wait until they were married.

00:29:16.115 --> 00:29:23.242
You know, and that was one of the things, whereas, like a friend of mine's mom was like, hey, if you're going to do it, let me know, we'll get you the things.

00:29:23.242 --> 00:29:25.045
She was like not doing it.

00:29:25.286 --> 00:29:26.086
Right, never doing it.

00:29:26.086 --> 00:29:31.041
I think it's different for every person, because I feel like my two kids that have social media are very different.

00:29:31.041 --> 00:29:41.077
One is very on it I have to be like put it down and then one is not really on it that often and is more doing other things.

00:29:41.077 --> 00:29:44.344
So I think it just just depends on the kids too, sometimes.

00:29:44.344 --> 00:29:46.452
Yeah, because I feel like I have the same approach with both.

00:29:46.452 --> 00:29:48.196
You don't think so?

00:29:48.196 --> 00:29:49.339
Not at all.

00:29:49.980 --> 00:29:50.883
Really Not at all.

00:29:50.883 --> 00:29:52.753
It's way more forbidden with one.

00:29:52.753 --> 00:29:55.701
Really, yeah, a hundred thousand percent.

00:29:55.701 --> 00:29:59.123
I would say that Because, because, from a young age they're on it so much.

00:29:59.123 --> 00:30:02.491
No, but I think back then it was like you never thought you were going to give your kids social media.

00:30:02.491 --> 00:30:03.472
You were very anti.

00:30:04.153 --> 00:30:06.957
I mean, it's the oldest, so you have like a stronger.

00:30:06.957 --> 00:30:08.719
No, we're not doing this, we're not doing this.

00:30:08.719 --> 00:30:14.105
I think when he wanted to, it was like no, we're not doing this, we're not doing this, we're not having the phone.

00:30:14.105 --> 00:30:20.190
He was older to have the phone even so.

00:30:20.190 --> 00:30:21.271
I think it was naturally just a more forbidden thing.

00:30:21.271 --> 00:30:22.173
But I do think it's his personality.

00:30:22.192 --> 00:30:23.796
Yeah, um, to be more addicted to those things.

00:30:23.796 --> 00:30:26.419
Yeah, but I think at the same time, I wouldn't say it was equal.

00:30:26.419 --> 00:30:28.122
Yeah, one was totally like.

00:30:28.122 --> 00:30:33.076
Yeah, you know, but they also learn that because you can trust more.

00:30:33.076 --> 00:31:08.759
But I think, innately, we don't realize and I and I say this with Kai to my husband always we always don't realize the things that we are like, accidentally, like doing, like, even in sports psychology, it's super important in parenting, but it's so important to say what to do, not what not to do, right, so like, don't look over there, don't look over there, right, all you want to do is look over there when we say don't in our minds, we want to do it Right Instead of like, especially some people that are more rebellious like me, who I'm not standing in the lines, you tell me not to do something, don't touch it, it's hot bears like that, burning my hand.

00:31:08.779 --> 00:31:14.061
I have to explain to him why I'm telling him something, because if he thinks that we're just saying don't, he wants to do it.

00:31:14.061 --> 00:31:19.381
But if I explain the reasoning and he buys in, yes, then he will, and my husband is.

00:31:19.381 --> 00:31:21.412
He's very big on not.

00:31:21.972 --> 00:31:28.979
His parents didn't explain yeah, no is no because I said no because I said and I'm like great, but he's gonna do it because he thinks you're just telling him.

00:31:28.979 --> 00:31:31.673
No, I don't like to feel control, that's how bear is and so.

00:31:31.673 --> 00:31:36.511
But for me, if I explain, hey, and he's like, oh yeah, that makes sense, then he won't do it.

00:31:36.511 --> 00:31:38.978
Yeah, because he doesn't want to do something wrong.

00:31:38.978 --> 00:31:40.750
Yeah, but he just has to understand.

00:31:40.852 --> 00:31:43.198
I'm kind of like that if I think a rule's stupid, I'm doing.

00:31:43.198 --> 00:31:44.080
I'm like that's stupid.

00:31:44.080 --> 00:31:44.521
I'm kind of like that.

00:31:44.521 --> 00:31:45.344
If I think a rule is stupid, I'm doing.

00:31:45.344 --> 00:31:45.805
I'm like that's stupid.

00:31:45.805 --> 00:31:46.507
Like I'm not wearing the mask.

00:31:46.527 --> 00:31:46.627
Cause.

00:31:46.627 --> 00:31:47.289
I know it doesn't work, you know.

00:31:47.309 --> 00:31:51.826
But if I think a rule is like for safety and it's real, then I'll do it yeah.

00:31:52.047 --> 00:31:52.489
And I just think.

00:31:52.489 --> 00:31:53.871
Sometimes it's like I don't know.

00:31:53.871 --> 00:32:01.138
I don't know, We'll see how this all pans out, but I go and once she's on her own, do I want her then to learn the rules of social media or the consequences?

00:32:01.138 --> 00:32:14.539
I would rather her make mistakes in my house, where I can save her from them a little bit more than when they're fully independent you know.

00:32:15.330 --> 00:32:25.721
So that's kind of why I gave social media, because I wanted to be able to work through the issues that would come up together, but I don't always know if that's right.

00:32:25.741 --> 00:32:26.569
I don't know.

00:32:26.569 --> 00:32:29.759
You know, like when I'm agreeing with the government, like maybe they should take it away, I don't know.

00:32:29.759 --> 00:32:30.321
Yeah.

00:32:30.321 --> 00:32:30.825
It's all hard.

00:32:31.367 --> 00:32:31.650
It's all hard.

00:32:31.650 --> 00:32:44.424
Well, there's some studies like done on like what it does to your brain and I think that like their brains aren't formed yet fully to be able to handle it, and that's stuff I do agree with, but it's hard yeah.

00:32:44.724 --> 00:32:47.954
I know I agree, yeah, so, anyways, so, anyways.

00:32:47.954 --> 00:32:49.858
So we went on our trips.

00:32:49.858 --> 00:32:52.412
We went to skiing we were going to talk about that too.

00:32:52.412 --> 00:32:53.354
Oh yeah, that was fun.

00:32:53.354 --> 00:32:56.039
Um, we go on this trip every year and it's funny.

00:32:56.039 --> 00:32:57.751
We like to tell everyone.

00:32:57.751 --> 00:33:10.990
You know, we're like, when we're going to somewhere fun, I'm like really excited, right, or somewhere new, you know, or like we go to Tahoe every summer Again, both of us not that I'm justifying it, but we didn't go on a lot of trips growing up.

00:33:10.990 --> 00:33:13.738
I love you mom, but we went to the casino.

00:33:13.738 --> 00:33:19.912
That's where we went with my family, and I love the casino still, but, um, we so trips are just a big thing.

00:33:19.912 --> 00:33:22.553
Traditional trips, yearly trips, are a big thing for both of us.

00:33:22.933 --> 00:33:24.933
Yeah, we're big on traditions, making memories.

00:33:24.994 --> 00:33:27.855
Yes, and so we go on the ski trips.

00:33:27.855 --> 00:33:28.476
So we've gone.

00:33:28.476 --> 00:33:29.355
This is our third year.

00:33:29.355 --> 00:33:36.420
We used to go to the cabin with us and our other best friend and we skied in Flag and other places.

00:33:36.619 --> 00:33:37.799
Stupid yeah.

00:33:38.580 --> 00:33:39.401
So it's not our favorite.

00:33:39.401 --> 00:33:42.122
Like Tisha hates the cold, we both don't ski.

00:33:42.122 --> 00:33:42.962
I have bad knees.

00:33:42.962 --> 00:33:43.603
She doesn't love it.

00:33:43.603 --> 00:33:45.344
And then we stay in the.

00:33:45.344 --> 00:33:47.765
You know, we just chill out while the boys take the kids.

00:33:47.765 --> 00:33:48.945
The kids come back crying.

00:33:48.945 --> 00:33:53.107
It's a very like not laying on the beach with margaritas kind of trip.

00:33:53.107 --> 00:34:04.039
No, no, but we're learning, yes, and why we do this is you know, we ski all day.

00:34:04.300 --> 00:34:07.223
It's awful, yeah, and they literally cry and complain.

00:34:07.223 --> 00:34:08.346
We've the first day.

00:34:08.346 --> 00:34:11.222
We usually throw them in ski school or a lesson the second day, which?

00:34:11.262 --> 00:34:12.670
is a million dollars, a million dollars.

00:34:12.670 --> 00:34:15.739
So they were mad about it, that their attitude about it sucks because it's a million dollars.

00:34:16.050 --> 00:34:19.456
It's like as they're getting ready in the morning, we're beating them Like it's a whole thing.

00:34:19.655 --> 00:34:20.356
Not really beating.

00:34:20.458 --> 00:34:21.079
No, yeah, no, yeah.

00:34:21.079 --> 00:34:28.833
And so this this year I do feel like we turned a corner, yeah, where the kids actually enjoyed it.

00:34:28.833 --> 00:34:37.297
Yeah, and it was really exciting and it was so funny because when we were getting ready the first morning, bear was putting on his bib and he goes.

00:34:37.297 --> 00:34:42.518
This is my favorite trip we take and I was shocked because I'm thinking I take you everywhere.

00:34:42.938 --> 00:34:44.431
Yeah, and they're you were just in the Bahamas.00:34:44.692 --> 00:34:48.842


Right, yeah, and this is your favorite trip, because it's just not my favorite.00:34:48.842 --> 00:34:57.771


But it was cool that, and we've both said we want our kids to know how to ski and snowboard, because we both learned later in life and it's horrible to learn as an adult.00:34:57.771 --> 00:34:59.913


So it was just.00:34:59.913 --> 00:35:04.817


It was so interesting to me that, of all the places we've gone, these are his favorite trips.00:35:05.036 --> 00:35:07.197


Right, and it's not like relaxing and fun all the time.00:35:07.197 --> 00:35:12.782


It's like a very they're, like we're making him go back out, oh, but him and Ben are fighting the whole time, yeah, yeah.00:35:12.782 --> 00:35:19.186


But it was just a good reminder that if we listen to our kids because I do I fall into it.00:35:19.186 --> 00:35:26.023


I listen to him Totally On probably 80% of the things, yes, and then I'll remember not to listen to them and then I'll get smart on 20%, right?00:35:26.023 --> 00:35:28.454


So even probably both of us were both going.00:35:28.454 --> 00:35:29.538


Do we do this trip anymore?00:35:29.538 --> 00:35:30.559


They're not really excited.00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:31.682


I'm not excited, right.00:35:31.682 --> 00:35:33.911


The dads aren't excited because they have to take them all day.00:35:33.911 --> 00:35:36.672


It's expensive, yes, and it's like every day.00:35:36.672 --> 00:35:38.954


If you would ask, do you?00:35:39.014 --> 00:35:41.217


have to go.00:35:41.217 --> 00:35:48.521


They came in for lunch because we make lunch in the room and they were crying we don't want to go back out and we were kicking them out, yeah, go back.00:35:48.561 --> 00:35:50.222


And Kyle's like, let's go right now.00:35:50.222 --> 00:35:54.146


And then the next day we're at lunch and they we asked them what their highs were.00:35:54.326 --> 00:35:54.786


Highs and lows.00:35:54.786 --> 00:35:55.527


Yeah, highs and lows.00:35:55.527 --> 00:36:12.521


We always ask them of the trip, not the first year, yeah, so finally, another thing is sometimes you don't get the instant gratification of the lessons that you're teaching, but then later on they'll thank you, yeah.00:36:13.150 --> 00:36:15.119


So we both did swim lessons.00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:18.199


My family is a big on swim lessons.00:36:18.199 --> 00:36:19.181


It's like swim doc.00:36:19.181 --> 00:36:22.539


My mother-in-law has a license plate that says swim doc.00:36:22.539 --> 00:36:23.851


She taught swim lessons.00:36:23.851 --> 00:36:26.134


Our extended family teaches swim lessons.00:36:26.134 --> 00:36:28.115


It's like our family is big on swim lessons.00:36:28.115 --> 00:36:32.420


Yeah, so when I first was engaged to Kyle, my nephew was like four.00:36:32.420 --> 00:36:37.125


And they're like you got to get him in swim lessons and I'm like no one has a pool, what's the big deal?00:36:37.125 --> 00:36:38.385


And they're like does he swim?00:36:39.047 --> 00:36:42.472


Like everyone, learns to swim at one in your family, oh yeah, nine, 10 months.00:36:42.512 --> 00:36:45.817


They're kicking to the side and I was like no, so I bring my.00:36:45.817 --> 00:36:48.400


I'm like Allie, my mother-in-law can get you in these swim lessons.00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:49.661


I'm still trying to like win her over.00:36:49.661 --> 00:36:52.911


Yeah, so my sister-in-law said okay, well, can you take them, cause they worked.00:36:52.911 --> 00:36:53.592


And I was like sure.00:36:53.592 --> 00:36:55.117


So I put them in the car.00:36:55.117 --> 00:36:56.360


We have to go to the bathroom.00:36:56.360 --> 00:37:00.382


We get to, you know my a weird look.00:37:00.382 --> 00:37:01.563


I'm like that's not allowed.00:37:01.563 --> 00:37:04.083


No, yeah, I had no idea.00:37:04.083 --> 00:37:04.804


I didn't have kids yet.00:37:04.804 --> 00:37:08.945


I was like 26 and I'm like okay, george, I'm going to the bathroom, I'll see you soon.00:37:08.945 --> 00:37:10.487


And I'm getting a weird look by everybody.00:37:10.487 --> 00:37:14.190


So I get back and they're all swimming and kicking and we walk out there.00:37:14.190 --> 00:37:16.974


Everyone's screaming, everyone's screaming.00:37:16.974 --> 00:37:19.237


Every kid is crying the whole time.00:37:19.237 --> 00:37:22.541


Back then, the lesson was like an hour because they did it different.00:37:22.541 --> 00:37:23.081


I remember.00:37:23.081 --> 00:37:24.945


So I'm seeing all these kids just screaming.00:37:24.945 --> 00:37:29.833


My mother-in-law's doing all these things to the kids and my nephew starts seeing the kids screaming.00:37:29.833 --> 00:37:31.882


Imagine, as adults.00:37:31.902 --> 00:37:44.282


Well, as you're walking up to the house, you hear from outside, you hear screaming and crying and it's kind of like the kids start to slow down, like naturally we shouldn't go into the burning house, no, right.00:37:44.762 --> 00:37:45.686


So we get out there.00:37:45.686 --> 00:37:48.534


Jordan starts grabbing my leg because all the kids are screaming.00:37:48.534 --> 00:37:51.722


Right, the water is not super warm, no, but this time.00:37:51.722 --> 00:37:56.871


So I'm like, okay, so we're just I'm just hugging him sitting on the side, and she comes over with her hat.00:37:56.871 --> 00:37:57.833


You know it's your turn.00:37:57.833 --> 00:38:00.420


So I'm like, okay, jordan, go with Bonnie.00:38:00.420 --> 00:38:01.322


And he like won't let go.00:38:01.322 --> 00:38:03.735


And I'm like, no, no, no, I go with funny.00:38:03.735 --> 00:38:08.340


So she grabs him and just dunks him in the water, blows in his mouth, dunks him in the water.00:38:08.340 --> 00:38:09.405


He's screaming, yeah.00:38:09.405 --> 00:38:12.916


So now he's screaming and I'm his aunt and I'm like, what is she doing to him?00:38:12.916 --> 00:38:15.710


She's dunking him, dunking him and then making him kick to the side.00:38:15.710 --> 00:38:16.592


He's screaming.00:38:16.592 --> 00:38:19.596


So he gets to with his lesson and he comes running to me.00:38:19.596 --> 00:38:21.237


I hug him, I'm holding him the whole time.00:38:21.237 --> 00:38:22.760


So then it, it's his turn.00:38:22.760 --> 00:38:26.525


Again he's gripping me, she's trying to grab him for his turn and I'm like, no, no, no.00:38:26.525 --> 00:38:27.425


So he goes.00:38:27.425 --> 00:38:30.018


I don't make him swim in the tomb in between the lessons.00:38:30.018 --> 00:38:30.780


Oh, shoot.00:38:30.780 --> 00:38:34.239


So this happens for three weeks, three or four weeks.00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:34.860


You do this lesson.00:38:34.929 --> 00:38:37.119


So every day I pick him up for swim lessons.00:38:37.119 --> 00:38:38.376


He's crying when he comes to me.00:38:38.376 --> 00:38:47.385


The whole drive there, ryan, he's crapping himself one day in.00:38:47.385 --> 00:38:48.396


I'm like the swim diapers on, he's crapping himself.00:38:48.396 --> 00:38:48.842


I'm like Bonnie, can I use the bathroom?00:38:48.842 --> 00:38:49.391


She's like you're not allowed to use the bathroom.00:38:49.391 --> 00:38:50.125


I'm her family, it's going to be.00:38:50.125 --> 00:38:52.086


You're not allowed to use the bathroom and swim lessons.00:38:52.086 --> 00:38:57.175


If they have to crap themselves, they go in the rocks and you hose them off and I'm like this is like kid bootcamp.00:38:57.175 --> 00:39:01.639


I'm not a mom, this is'm committed.00:39:01.639 --> 00:39:02.800


I can't not go every day.00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:04.581


Jordan doesn't want to go every single day.00:39:04.581 --> 00:39:05.021


He's crying.00:39:05.021 --> 00:39:05.643


He doesn't want to go.00:39:06.744 --> 00:39:13.382


Four weeks in the last week the kids are crying hysterical and she tells them she's staying in the pool, go.00:39:13.382 --> 00:39:19.579


It's the craziest thing, because toddlers, you can't get them to listen to you for worth a darn themselves on the ground.00:39:19.579 --> 00:39:25.481


She tells him go and points from the water that my nephew will walk over, gets on the diving bird.00:39:25.481 --> 00:39:26.382


She says, go.00:39:26.382 --> 00:39:28.958


He runs crying the whole time.00:39:28.958 --> 00:39:30.443


Then she'll tell him to wave.00:39:30.443 --> 00:39:32.429


They wave at you while they're crying.00:39:32.429 --> 00:39:35.599


I know it's no one's making them.00:39:35.599 --> 00:39:37.346


It's like the craziest thing, yeah.00:39:37.346 --> 00:39:39.431


And they jump off the diving board and swim to the side.00:39:39.431 --> 00:39:39.733


Yeah.00:39:39.733 --> 00:39:45.976


So then on the last day, you know they do all the things she throws them in they swim to to the side, they walk.00:39:45.976 --> 00:39:46.980


She doesn't even help them.00:39:46.980 --> 00:39:47.601


They're trained.00:39:47.601 --> 00:39:54.018


They walk, they jump off the diving board, swim to the side and they get an otter pop at the end and when you leave they're on cloud nine.00:39:54.157 --> 00:39:56.657


Oh yeah, by the end the last lesson, he's like did you see me?00:39:56.657 --> 00:40:00.454


Did you see me?00:40:00.454 --> 00:40:04.601


Because he's so proud of himself for facing his fear, jumping off the diving board and swimming to the side.00:40:04.601 --> 00:40:18.012


Yeah, and it's literally the craziest thing you ever see, because you see these kids go from screaming every day to like never seeing a four-year-old be more proud of himself, right, and it's just like a small example of, like what we steal from them if we don't keep pushing.00:40:18.012 --> 00:40:19.632


Yeah, you know all the things.00:40:19.672 --> 00:40:29.101


Like our kids cried and screamed every day, every year for this ski lesson and I guarantee, just like my husband, they're going to make their kids go on this ski trip.00:40:29.101 --> 00:40:31.864


Oh for sure, you know, because, kyle, it was like the thing.00:40:31.864 --> 00:40:41.963


They went on the ski trip, right, so now we go on the ski trip, but like what other things do we rob ourselves or our kids from by not pushing through the screaming or the crying or the things we don't want to do.00:40:41.963 --> 00:40:47.001


You know, like every time there's a dinner or something, tisha doesn't like meeting new people, really Hate it.00:40:47.001 --> 00:40:48.253


So every time she'll call me.00:40:48.253 --> 00:40:51.416


I don't want to go to this stupid thing and I'm like you're going to be fine, da, da, da.00:40:51.416 --> 00:40:53.958


And after she's like oh my God, we had the best time.00:40:53.958 --> 00:40:56.494


I love Shirley Shirley's, my best friend.00:40:56.494 --> 00:41:08.762


Yeah, other things do we do that we just like, when we have our first pot podcast, go viral, our first clip, and you want to quit the whole day.00:41:08.762 --> 00:41:09.224


What are the things?00:41:09.224 --> 00:41:09.606


Are we not pushing?00:41:09.626 --> 00:41:09.768


through.00:41:09.788 --> 00:41:13.478


I know, I know so now, what things are you gonna make yourself?00:41:13.478 --> 00:41:16.507


Do like go to Chino today push through.00:41:16.949 --> 00:41:18.253


I don't know if I can push through.00:41:18.253 --> 00:41:18.976


It was Chino.00:41:18.996 --> 00:41:21.443


Venditto is so good yeah, okay, two more things.00:41:21.443 --> 00:41:22.693


I'll talk about Blake Lively.00:41:22.693 --> 00:41:24.717


Oh my goodness, yeah.00:41:24.717 --> 00:41:26.150


What's your stance on this?00:41:26.331 --> 00:41:26.771


I don't know.00:41:26.771 --> 00:41:30.340


I don't want to say it because I'm going to get just lit up.00:41:30.601 --> 00:41:35.360


I don't love blake lively and I see, I love her and I still think the whole thing's weird.00:41:35.360 --> 00:41:36.523


I don't know what the truth is.00:41:36.690 --> 00:41:40.610


I don't know what the truth is either, because there's a lot well both sides are attacking, now he's countersuing.00:41:40.610 --> 00:41:45.659


Yeah he's releasing the text messages that say she wouldn't meet with the intimacy coordinator Really.00:41:45.659 --> 00:41:47.862


So she said that he Right.00:41:48.123 --> 00:41:49.625


She had to implement it because he wouldn't.00:41:50.090 --> 00:42:00.335


Yes, and then he went to the intimacy coordinator without her and then he released text message proof that he said let's meet and she said I don't need to.00:42:00.335 --> 00:42:02.918


So then he had to meet with the intimacy coordinator without her.00:42:02.918 --> 00:42:03.239


Yes.00:42:04.070 --> 00:42:05.315


Oh my goodness, this thing need to.00:42:05.335 --> 00:42:06.777


so then he had to meet with the intimacy coordinator without her.00:42:06.777 --> 00:42:07.498


Yes, so then, oh my goodness.00:42:07.498 --> 00:42:07.797


So then I know.00:42:07.797 --> 00:42:08.659


So I don't know who to believe.00:42:08.659 --> 00:42:11.882


I think it was clearly they had an issue together, but I don't know.00:42:11.882 --> 00:42:15.586


Everybody's rallying behind Blake Lively, though, but I don't know if.00:42:15.606 --> 00:42:15.969


I don't know.00:42:15.969 --> 00:42:17.132


See, I've had some podcasts.00:42:17.132 --> 00:42:23.313


One of the girls is like I, she was like a producer and she's like I've never seen more chemistry between two people.00:42:23.313 --> 00:42:26.740


So she thinks it's like a closet, like oh, really feelings or something.00:42:26.740 --> 00:42:28.923


Yeah, I mean I don't know, but that's what she said.00:42:29.391 --> 00:42:32.699


She like does this, but like everybody's supporting Blake and no one's supporting him.00:42:32.699 --> 00:42:34.594


So then I think that's kind of weird.00:42:34.594 --> 00:42:35.699


I'm like is he a jerk?00:42:35.699 --> 00:42:36.666


Well, that's what I'm saying.00:42:36.666 --> 00:42:39.952


Are they just supporting her because it's Blake Lively and no one wants to get on her bad side?00:42:39.952 --> 00:42:43.456


Yeah or are they, or is he really like a jerk to everybody?00:42:43.456 --> 00:42:46.059


And now they're finally like finally, I don't know, I know.00:42:46.239 --> 00:42:49.943


I know, when I read her things I was kind of like, oh, maybe he gets away with it and she's going to put a stop to it.00:42:49.963 --> 00:42:50.844


I just don't love her.00:42:50.844 --> 00:42:53.166


So it's hard for me, see, and I really do Really.00:42:53.387 --> 00:42:54.896


Yeah, but you were doing her hair like her.00:42:57.338 --> 00:42:59.460


Well.00:42:59.519 --> 00:43:01.322


I love her so good Best book we've ever read.00:43:01.402 --> 00:43:02.041


It ends with us.00:43:02.523 --> 00:43:04.603


And I'm excited for Verity.00:43:04.603 --> 00:43:09.353


You know, when she kills him, what was that?00:43:09.353 --> 00:43:11.677


When she shoves the thing down the throat and like, kills her.00:43:11.677 --> 00:43:13.474


No, is that how she kills her?00:43:13.474 --> 00:43:15.375


Yeah, at the end she shoves stuff down the throat.00:43:15.375 --> 00:43:16.217


Oh, I don't even remember.00:43:16.690 --> 00:43:21.132


Like yeah, oh yeah, I think they Paul and Hoover the best books I know.00:43:21.132 --> 00:43:23.396


I think they cast Anne Hathaway in that.00:43:23.396 --> 00:43:24.177


I know it's going to be so good.00:43:24.177 --> 00:43:25.661


I feel like that was really good casting.00:43:25.681 --> 00:43:26.402


Yeah, it ends with us.00:43:26.442 --> 00:43:29.817


Maddie wants to read it and they did good for this one too, except not Blake Lively.00:43:29.817 --> 00:43:33.532


Again, she's way too old to play Lily, like the girl's 23.00:43:33.532 --> 00:43:34.413


Oh, I thought it was amazing.00:43:34.413 --> 00:43:35.454


Blake Lively's not 23.00:43:35.454 --> 00:43:36.856


It's like me thinking I'm 23.00:43:36.936 --> 00:43:40.239


I'm not guy they cast for Atlas, because in the book I wasn't team Atlas.00:43:45.322 --> 00:43:51.086


I was kind of mopey, and then they cast that guy from 1923 and I'm obsessed with him and I was like that was great oh.00:43:51.106 --> 00:43:52.447


I don't even know him and I was obsessed with him.00:43:52.447 --> 00:43:53.550


Oh, they did such a good job.00:43:53.550 --> 00:44:06.483


He still got for break lively, even though I know yeah, so I feel like who knows who knows, but calling him over, you just never know Tisha likes reading those books because she does like she gets her robot out and then that's so dumb, I do not.00:44:06.644 --> 00:44:09.777


You read those books, rabbit me yeah, she's got a rabbit.00:44:10.197 --> 00:44:13.655


I do not, I don't read the books more than you and I don't have my gosh.00:44:13.655 --> 00:44:16.246


She makes us read the most inappropriate books for book club.00:44:16.266 --> 00:44:17.733


I made one inappropriate book.00:44:17.733 --> 00:44:22.588


It was awful, the uncle he's like yeah, my, my niece gonna it was.00:44:22.728 --> 00:44:24.755


It was awful and you're like it's a good book.00:44:24.856 --> 00:44:25.719


I'm like I need church.00:44:25.719 --> 00:44:27.777


If anyone out there has read Credence, it's awful.00:44:27.777 --> 00:44:28.298


It's awful.00:44:28.298 --> 00:44:29.614


Don't read it if you haven't.00:44:29.614 --> 00:44:30.197


It's awful.00:44:30.197 --> 00:44:39.056


It's so weird and dark and someone recommended it and then I read it and I will never be the same.00:44:39.056 --> 00:44:39.878


It was really gross.00:44:39.898 --> 00:44:43.061


I that book was concerning I know Colleen Hoover is so good.00:44:43.061 --> 00:44:45.065


I'm reading a new one of hers right now and it's so good.00:44:45.065 --> 00:44:49.554


Okay, last thing I wanted to talk about today was that, mel Robbins.00:44:49.554 --> 00:44:52.322


If you guys don't follow her, she's like a motivational person.00:44:52.322 --> 00:44:54.077


I don't know where she really comes from.00:44:54.077 --> 00:44:57.855


Did you know that Dr Phil has like a doctorate in like mechanics?00:44:57.855 --> 00:44:59.918


No, okay, that's wrong.00:44:59.918 --> 00:45:03.202


What does Dr Phil have a doctorate in?00:45:03.202 --> 00:45:05.985


It's something weird and I'm sick of saying incorrect things on the podcast.00:45:05.985 --> 00:45:11.179


Yeah, she says incorrect things and then we have to edit them out after because she doesn't want to look stupid.00:45:11.500 --> 00:45:13.655


Okay, I was wrong, it's in clinical psychology.00:45:14.358 --> 00:45:22.755


Oh, so like totally his field, like the exact field that he does, good thing I looked into that.00:45:22.755 --> 00:45:27.856


Oh my God, it's like the exact thing that he does.00:45:27.856 --> 00:45:28.460


Good thing, I looked into that.00:45:28.460 --> 00:45:29.447


Oh my God, it's like the exact thing that he does.00:45:29.467 --> 00:45:29.670


Oh my gosh.00:45:29.670 --> 00:45:31.697


It just goes to show how stupid the internet is.00:45:32.018 --> 00:45:33.735


Oh yeah, did someone tell you that he did it?00:45:33.735 --> 00:45:36.675


Yeah, it was like a post Gosh all the things we're saying are incorrect.00:45:36.675 --> 00:45:37.940


Oh, shoot Okay.00:45:38.610 --> 00:45:41.074


But Mel Robbins is posting this new book.00:45:41.074 --> 00:45:45.384


I just listened to it on Jamie Lene Kerna.00:45:45.384 --> 00:45:47.389


Oh yeah, it Cosmetics how do you say her name?00:45:47.389 --> 00:45:50.621


Yeah, yeah, she's my favorite, absolutely love her.00:45:50.621 --> 00:45:56.710


So she was on her podcast and I listened to a lot of podcasts and, um, it was this whole new theory that's out there.00:45:56.710 --> 00:45:57.474


It's a really good book.00:45:57.474 --> 00:46:01.545


I think I'm going to read the book too, but it's called let them I'll let you read it and fill me in.00:46:01.605 --> 00:46:04.429


I know I wanted to send you the podcast but I knew you wouldn't listen.00:46:04.429 --> 00:46:05.771


But it's super interesting.00:46:05.771 --> 00:46:15.251


It's about like, obviously we all know to let people do what they want and not let it affect you, but the way she like gives examples of it, it really makes you like yeah, you're right.00:46:15.251 --> 00:46:20.592


How stupid are we all that we let what other people are doing affect us so much?00:46:20.592 --> 00:46:24.503


Right, like a few weeks ago when Tisha said nasty things about me.00:46:24.503 --> 00:46:27.465


I should just let her, because her opinion isn't my business.00:46:27.786 --> 00:46:30.148


That's so rude, really rude, not real.00:46:30.788 --> 00:46:31.929


No this is made up.00:46:31.929 --> 00:46:35.952


She did, but I should let you Like why do I care what you think about me?00:46:35.952 --> 00:46:42.503


It's not my problem if you think I'm like that, but why, like other things, like even with Kyle Kyle does this thing.00:46:42.503 --> 00:46:44.068


My husband, he bites his nails.00:46:44.068 --> 00:46:46.570


It's his nails, it's like nails on a chalkboard.00:46:46.570 --> 00:46:53.096


For me it completely like your nails are so dirty and then you're eating them, then you're swallowing them, then I'm gonna kiss you.00:46:53.096 --> 00:46:55.161


It like grosses me out so bad.00:46:55.222 --> 00:46:58.771


Yeah, my brother used to do weird things to me, like hot glugies on me and stuff.00:46:58.771 --> 00:47:02.007


So like my brother bit his nails and I have like this whole thing.00:47:02.007 --> 00:47:03.992


It triggers me into like a dark place.00:47:03.992 --> 00:47:07.146


So I've asked him please don't bite your nails in front of I don't care if you bite them on your own.00:47:07.146 --> 00:47:13.403


It just when I'm seeing it it's like, but he won't stop biting his nails Right and like, let him.00:47:13.403 --> 00:47:14.005


But let him.00:47:14.005 --> 00:47:15.528


Like I need to just let it go.00:47:15.528 --> 00:47:16.831


Dishes in the sink.00:47:16.831 --> 00:47:18.481


He's a big, let's soak things.00:47:18.481 --> 00:47:23.324


I don't like things to soak in the sink, right, it's just soaking in dirty water.00:47:23.324 --> 00:47:24.905


Let's just clean it and put it away.00:47:25.326 --> 00:47:39.317


I think that's a good thing for parenting is let them, because I think so many times we want to do it our way or save them, and not let them do it their way, because I'll have my kids do something and it's not the way I would want it done.00:47:39.556 --> 00:47:41.641


Yes, and let them do it.00:47:41.641 --> 00:47:43.608


Yes, and that's what Mel Robbins explained in her.00:47:43.608 --> 00:47:53.541


The whole reason she got to this theory is her son was going to prom and her girls and I could relate to this because my son is very that way right, but the girls were so planned in their plans.00:47:53.541 --> 00:47:55.706


They she knew the info a month before.00:47:55.706 --> 00:48:00.773


She knew that house they were having dinner at, she knew who the girl was going with, she knew what was happening after.00:48:00.773 --> 00:48:04.344


And so it's like the day before prom and her son's like, yeah, I think I am gonna go right.00:48:04.344 --> 00:48:05.585


And so she got a text.00:48:05.585 --> 00:48:07.148


And then he's like, yeah, I think I'm gonna ask the girl.00:48:07.148 --> 00:48:08.971


So they'd like figure out how to ask the girl.00:48:08.971 --> 00:48:10.773


And then she had to get these shoes.00:48:10.773 --> 00:48:15.840


She had to overnight him because he wanted these shoes at the last minute, so it was affecting her, his last minute-ness.00:48:16.322 --> 00:48:20.701


But then the day of the prom, they're at taking pictures and everything, and she's like where you guys going for dinner?00:48:20.701 --> 00:48:23.103


And he's like, oh, I don't know, it's prom night.00:48:23.103 --> 00:48:25.706


They're at the thing and they're like where do you guys want to go?00:48:25.706 --> 00:48:26.509


And they're like I don't know.00:48:26.509 --> 00:48:34.465


So she wanted to like save them by like finding a place, calling seeing if they could all get in, and she's like no, I need to, just you know whatever.00:48:35.045 --> 00:48:36.650


And then, like it's not the way I would do it.00:48:36.650 --> 00:48:41.590


But whatever, it was starting to rain and where they were going to go was outside, which is normal.00:48:41.590 --> 00:48:42.860


I would be like no, you guys can't go there.00:48:42.860 --> 00:48:45.284


The girl's hair is going to get wet, the dresses are going to be ruined.00:48:45.284 --> 00:48:47.628


That's a rented tux, it's going to cost us money.00:48:47.628 --> 00:48:50.393


And her daughter reaches over to her and said mom, let them.00:48:50.393 --> 00:48:52.135


And that's where it like hit.00:48:52.135 --> 00:48:54.545


She ended up letting him go to the outside dinner.00:48:54.545 --> 00:48:57.391


She's like okay, so they had the best time.00:48:57.391 --> 00:48:58.824


It was memories that made forever.00:48:58.824 --> 00:49:02.039


They all ate outside, they danced, wet all the things.00:49:02.039 --> 00:49:07.184


And she's like I just realized how many other things do we do where we don't just let them?00:49:07.204 --> 00:49:08.786


How many other things do we do where we don't just let them.00:49:08.786 --> 00:49:09.626


So I I agree with that.00:49:09.626 --> 00:49:10.666


But then I also have.00:49:10.666 --> 00:49:23.387


So, for example, the other day my oldest um he has fifth period um, weight weight training for football and they're working out really hard right now Cause now they're getting ready for next season.00:49:23.387 --> 00:49:26.190


So it's like the first day back, super hard workout.00:49:26.679 --> 00:49:29.646


So in the morning he had a bowl of cereal.00:49:29.646 --> 00:49:31.030


Then he went to school.00:49:31.030 --> 00:49:32.032


I picked him up.00:49:32.032 --> 00:49:35.608


He was like oh, so that night I made dinner.00:49:35.608 --> 00:49:37.686


We were going to a movie.00:49:38.079 --> 00:49:42.346


He didn't eat dinner before the movie and I was like oh, are you going to eat before or after?00:49:42.346 --> 00:49:43.409


He's like I'll eat after.00:49:43.409 --> 00:49:44.211


So we go to the movie.00:49:44.211 --> 00:49:50.001


He had popcorn and an icy.00:49:50.001 --> 00:49:51.905


We come home and he's like I'm gonna go to bed and I'm I'm thinking you didn't eat dinner.00:49:51.925 --> 00:49:56.402


And I said, honey, you're working out so hard like you're not fueling your body.00:49:56.402 --> 00:49:59.695


I said all you had was a bowl of cereal and then lunch.00:49:59.695 --> 00:50:04.166


And then he goes I didn't eat lunch, I go what you didn't eat lunch, why not?00:50:04.166 --> 00:50:04.686


He forgot to.00:50:04.686 --> 00:50:05.929


Oh, so he said I forgot to.00:50:05.929 --> 00:50:07.932


Oh, so he said I forgot to.00:50:07.932 --> 00:50:09.804


I'm thinking that's weird, but anyways.00:50:09.804 --> 00:50:24.561


So you had a bowl of cereal at 6 o'clock in the morning and then you had popcorn and an Icy for dinner and you're working out and so naturally, I'm like you need to feel your body, you're not going to be at your optimal, like it's not healthy.00:50:24.561 --> 00:50:25.342


You're growing.00:50:25.342 --> 00:50:28.186


You need to nourish your body, you need to have real food.00:50:28.186 --> 00:50:33.074


That's both of those are crap, you know, and I'm fine with the crap, but you got to get the good stuff in there too.00:50:33.074 --> 00:50:35.186


So I'm like you need to eat dinner.00:50:35.186 --> 00:50:40.773


So do you think I just let him not eat and just but like that's not building healthy habits?00:50:41.320 --> 00:50:43.702


You can't make him build healthy habits, you can advise him.00:50:44.222 --> 00:50:46.425


Well, well, you can instill them when they're young.00:50:46.425 --> 00:50:51.289


Like Ben's parents made him eat every meal and he has like the healthiest eating habits ever.00:50:51.309 --> 00:50:55.913


Yeah, but they live that way, Like where do you think he's getting sour patch and popcorn from?00:50:56.434 --> 00:50:57.835


No, it was an Icy and popcorn.00:50:57.875 --> 00:50:59.516


That's your favorite thing, well, that's fine.00:50:59.516 --> 00:51:05.737


At the theater, I'm saying, though, he's going to pick up on your habits that are instilled at the home.00:51:05.737 --> 00:51:08.543


Making him well, he's gonna resent you more by making it.00:51:08.543 --> 00:51:09.112


Not do it, because you're forcing it.00:51:09.090 --> 00:51:10.041


I would just keep reminding him.00:51:10.041 --> 00:51:10.789


Well, should we make him eat a dinner?00:51:10.789 --> 00:51:12.184


Ben's parents made him eat a dinner that he made.00:51:12.184 --> 00:51:14.554


I always make my kids eat what I make.00:51:14.554 --> 00:51:14.835


That's what.00:51:14.856 --> 00:51:21.373


I'm saying I always like you have to eat dinner, yeah, but like, if I don't know, he got home and wanted to go to bed.00:51:21.373 --> 00:51:25.009


Let him go to bed and wake up feeling like crap, yeah, let the reality of his choices be.00:51:25.009 --> 00:51:25.951


He's not five.00:51:25.951 --> 00:51:28.036


Yeah, like he's 16 now.00:51:28.036 --> 00:51:32.693


So I think, like at this point we have to let him yeah, if he was five, make him eat the dinner.00:51:32.693 --> 00:51:41.971


Yeah, but like, okay, you're not gonna eat the dinner we made, we're not making you anything else so you can go to bed hungry, right, but you can't sit there and be like open up, right, like make someone force feed at 16.00:51:41.971 --> 00:51:42.572


There's no way.00:51:42.572 --> 00:51:45.005


Yeah, like you could be, like you're gonna feel like crap.00:51:45.005 --> 00:51:46.148


Let him feel like crap a little bit.00:51:46.148 --> 00:51:50.398


Yeah, let him like see what that's going to be like and then I think he'll buy in more.00:51:50.398 --> 00:51:52.822


Yeah, but I think advising and teaching what you're doing is great.00:51:52.822 --> 00:51:55.248


I don't think all parents explain why?00:51:55.990 --> 00:51:58.842


Yeah, it's not to be controlling, it's because you work out and you got it Exactly.00:51:58.922 --> 00:52:03.108


I think that's smart, like I think that helps a lot to explain his best on his own Right.00:52:03.108 --> 00:52:13.949


But you can make it for, like you do you get him protein shakes and you do those things, yeah, and I think.00:52:13.949 --> 00:52:31.067


But I think with that one, especially at his age, I feel like you have to like start letting go at this age, right, because if he does go away to college, you're not going to make him be there to eat your food, but like he has a dad that he can follow and learn and you guys are like a healthy family.00:52:31.067 --> 00:52:37.179


So I think there's more in there than you think, and I do sometimes think he does that just to like do it, yeah, just to catch it.00:52:37.179 --> 00:52:46.605


So you're winning by doing it, not giving it the eat, and like sitting and having that whole talk, it's also time you're spending with him, right, so Like he's getting attention in a negative way.00:52:46.605 --> 00:52:51.849


So maybe when he sits at dinner and eats at dinner, we give attention that way, yeah, because we all do things for a reason.00:52:52.048 --> 00:53:00.295


Yeah, there's always a reason yeah, so sometimes I think he likes not intentionally, but I think he does things just to kind of yeah, have a say yeah.00:53:00.335 --> 00:53:02.536


Yeah, and like make a wave, yeah, in a weird way.00:53:02.536 --> 00:53:09.503


Yeah, okay, cool, go to bed.00:53:09.503 --> 00:53:11.581


It's like you took the power away, yeah, and then like, when he's starving, be like I couldn't believe it.00:53:11.581 --> 00:53:12.181


I'm like you gotta eat, you know?00:53:12.181 --> 00:53:12.831


Yeah, I think that's normal.00:53:12.831 --> 00:53:16.137


I think all parents want I think that's normal, yeah, and like Ben lives like that.00:53:16.137 --> 00:53:17.802


But I think you don't realize how much he knows.00:53:17.802 --> 00:53:20.695


But he knows he just just like the breakfast.00:53:20.695 --> 00:53:23.262


When kids don't want to eat breakfast, broxton all of a sudden doesn't want to eat breakfast.00:53:23.282 --> 00:53:25.967


Don't eat breakfast then yeah, knock yourself out, you'll be hungry.00:53:26.206 --> 00:53:27.268


And, yeah, it's better to do it.00:53:27.268 --> 00:53:31.574


But, like they're getting older, I think that's a hard thing these days is like figuring out what to let go of.00:53:31.574 --> 00:53:36.451


Yeah, like it's hard for me to be like is this something I should fight?00:53:36.451 --> 00:53:37.740


Is this something I should let go of?00:53:37.740 --> 00:53:40.905


But I think we all do better than we think we're doing.00:53:40.905 --> 00:53:53.621


Yeah, I think we just always think I do, I always think I'm doing, I could do better at all things well, that's what Ben makes things that are like a one a ten and I'm like you can't make everything a one yeah, like again, if they don't want to eat, whatever.00:53:53.782 --> 00:53:56.869


But there's gonna be a ten and we've had a couple tens.00:53:56.869 --> 00:54:04.887


Let's make the ten a ten and make the one a one, because, yes, if you're always tune us out if everything's gonna be a ten, then they're just gonna be like oh, this is stupid, I'm getting yelled at you, you know, or?00:54:05.228 --> 00:54:09.559


but the beauty is that's our biggest issue with a 16 year old.00:54:09.559 --> 00:54:10.623


Hallelujah.00:54:10.744 --> 00:54:11.405


Yeah, exactly.00:54:11.666 --> 00:54:12.829


That's like you're doing a good job.00:54:12.829 --> 00:54:14.440


Yeah, see what a good friend I am.00:54:14.440 --> 00:54:19.251


No, I think that all things, though like even um, I was.00:54:19.251 --> 00:54:26.702


I learned a lot from the podcast cause I listen and I was talking about how you know, with work, I've never really let go before this last year.00:54:26.702 --> 00:54:31.737


I've never really given so many clients away where I really didn't monitor everything that was happening.00:54:31.737 --> 00:54:35.568


Like I noticed everybody writes offers without asking me, like it used to be.00:54:35.568 --> 00:54:49.108


Like what do you think I should go in at Like, and now I like I'm so glad I let go because I, if I wouldn't have been in that fog, I don't think I would have let go and I don't no one needs me as much as I thought they did, which is a blessing.00:54:49.628 --> 00:54:56.186


No, but like, yeah, you're good, I don't need to babysit, I don't need, I need to let them like, let them learn, and I was.00:54:56.186 --> 00:54:58.311


I'm watching this new show on Netflix.00:54:58.311 --> 00:55:07.336


I love all the real estate shows and it's selling the city and it's like a team leader talking about how important it is to let the new team members fail.00:55:07.336 --> 00:55:11.510


Yeah, and I think we talked about that video clip about letting people fail is the best.00:55:11.510 --> 00:55:13.077


Fail is the best way to learn.00:55:13.077 --> 00:55:17.367


But I think with our kids or with anything, it's so hard for my team.00:55:17.367 --> 00:55:19.233


I want to always you guys feel success.00:55:19.233 --> 00:55:22.887


I want you to feel success, you know, but like, let them like.00:55:22.887 --> 00:55:25.320


Let's all try to let them do something this week.00:55:25.320 --> 00:55:26.724


Let people talk about you.00:55:26.724 --> 00:55:28.668


Let them talk bad about us on TikTok.00:55:28.668 --> 00:55:31.112


Let them just let them.00:55:31.112 --> 00:55:40.751


Yeah, because we only have control over ourselves and the more time and energy we spend on feeling that, the less time and energy is taken away from us by what people say about us.00:55:40.751 --> 00:55:42.806


What other people do you know?00:55:42.806 --> 00:55:44.411


Totally, kyle, let them.00:55:45.360 --> 00:55:46.786


Let him do what he wants.00:55:46.786 --> 00:55:47.489


Bite his nails.00:55:52.239 --> 00:55:52.460


Good luck.00:55:52.460 --> 00:55:53.525


Let them let him bite his nails good luck, yeah.00:55:53.525 --> 00:55:57.240


Anyways, she said that as adults, you can't talk an adult into something, and I think as a 16 year old, we're bordering on yeah, I don't think he's gonna listen.00:55:57.240 --> 00:55:58.847


Anyways, he has to learn for himself.00:55:58.847 --> 00:56:01.054


All right, that's it jerking around.00:56:01.054 --> 00:56:03.824


Have a good week, let them great week.00:56:03.824 --> 00:56:05.753


Welcome to jerking around.00:56:05.753 --> 00:56:14.818


A podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and crystal Crystal makes fun of me the whole time, and it's great and it's real.