S3 E17: Seeking Zen While Your Phone Stages a Coup

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Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and Crystal makes fun of me the whole time and it's great and it's real.

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Welcome to Jerking Around.

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Welcome.

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Tisha's having an attitude problem today.

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She's in mourning.

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I'm just going to drink your water.

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I'm just getting a drink, I'm trying to hydrate, you know.

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Yeah, so when she's dark like this, it means she's going to say something really inappropriate.

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Something nasty.

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Your nail, though you've got to stop.

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No, it's fine.

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She does this thing where she lifts her nail like a nervous condition.

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It's like a nervous.

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Well, I used to bite my nails, so now I have like the hard gel, which I love, the hard gel.

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But now I pick at my nail like I lift them and I just do weird things, so she's killing it.

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So now it's like a nub and she's trying to hide it from me.

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Well, no, it's not a nub.

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The hard gel came off.

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It looks nub like it's very small.

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It's a little nubby Well she filed it down to even it and then it was too short.

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When it first fell off, it was fine, if you keep lifting from here.

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I think we're going to have the brain back.

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We used to in high school because it had tentacles no she'd suck on her fingers no, weird, I didn't.

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She does that still, if you know what I mean.

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No, oh yeah, I would bite my nails and like my finger would get waterlogged from, like, and it would look kind of brainy.

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It wasn't, yeah yeah don't recommend.

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I know my kids bite their nails, some of them CJ does, yeah, and I'm always like don't bite your nails.

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And his nails are so low I'm like oh it, it looks like it hurts.

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I don't mess with my nails.

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I'm like don't do it.

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And then when he's doing it, he's like but I used to do that.

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Yeah, I was like you need a cleanse like a pair, you know, like a parasite, cleanse Cause I've heard that that's like a part.

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You know, ticks and different nervous behaviors are part of if you have parasites.

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Great, there's Bytisha.

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Yeah, it's great, we're really doing it.

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If you're a nail biter, try a parasite cleanse, just saving the world, one parasite at a time.

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Where do you get a parasite cleanse?

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There's different things you can do.

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There's all different.

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Like at the grocery store.

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No, I think you have to order them yeah.

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Yeah, like at the grocery store.

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No, I think you have to order them.

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Yeah, yeah, it's herbs, melissa knows.

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Yeah, melissa's into it.

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So have you done one?

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No, but I want to.

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Well, get going.

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I know.

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Why not?

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I know I should.

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Get one today and then tell us about it next week.

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All right, see you later.

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Guys, I'm going to get you know.

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So our week?

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Nothing exciting like last week.

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We had a cheer competition Shocking this weekend.

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The girls did really well Lots of metal detectors everywhere.

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Yeah, it was a different vibe.

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Lots of police From the nacho fight.

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It really turned things around.

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I felt safe, though I felt safe too.

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I felt way better.

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Yeah, the metal detectors, they very much checked everyone.

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Yeah, you had that one check where they took you in the back room yeah, and you loved it.

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The strip search yeah, they were like, yeah, now body cavity check, you know, and I was like, oh well, it's been a while.

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So I'm just kidding, and it hasn't been a while.

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Wish it had been a while kind of Cavities are to the back, no cavities in there, yeah, both holes.

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so which one has it been a while?

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no, that one's been.

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Never the the normal has been a.

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It's been a while.

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No, it hasn't been a while.

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I wish it'd been a while this is getting, I feel, really upset.

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Yeah, so, anyways.

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So you've been doing it.

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A lot is what you want to talk about.

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I mean, when you come back from out of town, does he really want to catch?

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No, but you said, kyle did yeah, and I was like I'm not ready to catch up.

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Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Well, that was like a traumatic comeback.

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Yeah, I was like I told you, I got back and I was like feeling wounded and I got in bed that night and I was thinking, oh poor me, I'm scared.

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And you know what's kind of weird, when I was followed in Vegas, yeah, I was just gonna say whenever the same thing happened, yeah, I got in bed all scared it's and I like cuddled up and then I just been followed by these like five random almost taken almost taken.

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I don't feel like doing it after that yeah, but he thinks it's the green light.

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It's a little like what's going on.

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I think it's the cuddle.

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Do you ever not want to cuddle?

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Because you know that's what's gonna happen all the time.

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Yeah, yeah, I'll play dead.

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He's like cuddling and I just lay there and he's like geez and I'm like well, no, because then you're going to take it as a green light.

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Yeah and no, it's not a green light.

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It's like frustrating because I don't mind a cuddle.

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I'm like he'll rub my back and I like that part yeah.

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But I'm not always ready for the whole thing.

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Right, trying to give the wrong signal.

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Sometimes I feel like if I cuddle or sometimes if I just my feet are cold, I'll put them on him.

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He thinks that's the go.

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He thinks it's the go and I'm like, no, I'm just I have cold feet.

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So I have to say, hey, can you get my heating pad?

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Because then I'm by myself.

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You know, because if I'm rubbing up on him, then he thinks that it's like the green.

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I know I wonder if that's a problem in many marriages.

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Like you, stop cuddling.

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The other night he was like come after I got home from being traumatized, try to go to bed.

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It happened.

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And he has this thing where if I say no or if I'm like, nah, I do that too.

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It's like the biggest challenge and it's happening.

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So I don't know.

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I got to switch that up Cause I was like, and then he's like oh, I'll get that no to a yes.

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Yeah, you know, it's not like inappropriate or anything, it's a yes before it happens, but if he rubs me more than 10 minutes, it's a green light for sure.

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Yeah, because I like am so grateful.

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Oh, my oh.

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I've done hours rubbing.

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I'm all good night.

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Are you serious Hours?

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Yeah, like two shows.

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He rubs you the whole show.

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Yeah, he's rubbed the whole, but is he trying and you say no?

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Well, he doesn't have a choice, because I throw my leg over and he'll like rub my knee or my leg.

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Like Kyle just starts, I'm not like saying no after that.

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Is he like trying to make it happen and you say no, or he doesn't try.

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Well, again, it's like the signal, so like if he's rubbing my knee and my leg, then he'll like try to like Rub up it.

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It'll kind of try to drift.

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And then if I'm like letting the drift happen, and sometimes I'll like reposition the drift, you know, and then I'm like, and like my leg was sprawled over on him and then he was rubbing my knee and it was fine, and then all of a sudden he tries.

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And then I like throw my leg back on my side and then he gets.

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He gets the like the drift or he gets like subtle messages.

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Yes, he knows if you close your leg.

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It's no, it's a no.

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Or if I have to be rejected, yes, yeah, because I'm not gonna be like no if he starts like really going yeah, I'm not gonna be mean, you know, yeah that's the thing like.

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If once it like goes to a certain point, you can't say no it you can't say no, it'd be awkward yeah.

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Except I feel like the other day yesterday, our house cleaner was coming and he was like, what do you mean by coming?

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She was coming, she gets there at like nine and so it's a small window from the school drop off to the.

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What if she's early, exactly, and she just comes in our house?

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So it's not like A knock or a doorbell.

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Right.

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So I got home from dropping the kids off and then he was wanting to, you know, play and I was like, oh, no Josie's coming.

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And he was like thinking it was.

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So what happened?

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Let's make it quick.

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And I was like no Josie's coming, so we didn't do it sounds so wrong.

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I know it does.

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It's kind of it was a no, but it wasn't like he was touching you.

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Oh yeah, no, he was trying and I was like no, get the heck off me.

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It wasn't like there's a certain point where you can't say no, it'd be so rude, or can you?

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I can Like if he's touching your private, you'll just be like no.

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Well, I'll just roll over and get out of there, or I'll like move his hand, I don't know.

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Just it's clear you know, really yeah.

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So do you say the word no or does it just like you roll over and run?

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I'll say like I'm tired or good night, or like no ease.

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You know, I'll add the IES to be like not so rude.

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Yeah, and you say no ease, yeah.

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And what does he say?

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please ease's.

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No, he just like gets it and then he's kind of irritated.

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You know, yeah, yeah, and I sometimes I care if he's irritated.

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Sometimes I'm too tired, I don't care if he's irritated.

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When I used to watch the Duggars.

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I used to love the Duggars Um, things have changed a lot since, but she was like you never say no to your husband.

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You're the only one in the world that can give him that gift.

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So anytime he wants it, you got to be giving that gift.

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Yeah, do you believe that?

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So I go both ways?

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Yeah, I do think you should, because, like my mom said, it starts in the morning, you earn it in the morning and I like that.

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She always made my dad earn it, but they were like fiends, fiend like the song.

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Yeah, they were always doing it.

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But, like for me, sometimes what happens is like you get on that bad path where you're annoyed by each other and you're being short with each other.

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The last thing I feel like doing is doing it.

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You gotta just do it, you gotta do it.

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So like it's confusing, you know.

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I think it depends.

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I think you don't need to maybe always say yes, you, you can say I'm tired, maybe not in a way that it's like withholding or mean, but just like, oh, I've been like, hey, I'm tired, can we do it in the morning?

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I've said that when I'm not like, do you follow through?

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Yeah, usually Okay.

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Where I'm not like denying it's like you're a loser, I'm just tired, yeah, I'm not like.

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Ah, you know.

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Yeah, like we talk about sex a lot in marriage but I mean I'm no pro at the marriage thing or the sex thing, I just go off of what like they've taught us at church and Dr Laura, some friends really big yeah, some friends have said they don't say no and it's great, you know friends, yeah, no, I'm asking.

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I didn't say anyone oh yeah and they're super cute and I do think it is good.

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But, like with that person, that friend of us and she does listen, not all the time, but she is a jerky, the friend of ours.

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They've only been with each other.

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And I always think that when you've only been with one person ladies and young people that listen, because we have a lot of young people don't do it until you're married, because it does bond you better.

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Yeah, people don't do it till you're married because it does bond you better.

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Yeah, we've been blessed to have that gift too.

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Yes, you know, but I just think I think it's the no is different when, like, you've never been with a guy that was using you or didn't make you feel safe well, that's what I'm saying.

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If he's being a jerk, I'm not doing it.

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Get the heck out of here.

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Yeah, those days have passed yeah, exactly.

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Yeah, I'm not on the side of the freeway anymore, exactly, you know.

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Yeah, no, I agree, but I feel like for our friend it's like a lot, it's like three times a week and she's like you.

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Just, you know, I go up there and I put him to bed and I take care of him and then I go watch my shows and he's happy as a cucumber.

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Yeah, because I put him, it's good.

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Yeah, and I do like that about at night because I like to watch TV and Kyle doesn't, my husband.

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So if I do the thing, then I can watch TV.

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Then you get your freedom Because, like, if he's, if I don't watch TV, he's like turn it down, turn it down, turn it down.

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Once I do do that, it's like he's right to sleep, yeah, but it wakes me up, it's like caffeine.

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Yeah, yeah and it's like always, I always joke with him.

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I'm like when I'm almost asleep it's like your favorite, is it because I don't know?

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Just say, I'm like that.

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That b words finally shut her mouth.

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Oh yeah, like because I'm always young.

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And then when I'm almost asleep, I'm like quiet.

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Yeah, I'm like, is that why he's all, finally, finally just shut her mouth, you know, and he laughs.

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It's like when I say hike, but um, I feel like he does think that sometimes, because I get like yeah, I don't know about you, but and Kyle listens, so I have to be very careful with how I word it.

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But sometimes for me this is happening to me this weekend.

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I don't know if it's because we're on a girls' trip, but like I get used to like my rhythm without Kyle, yeah, and I try to explain this to him Like when the kids get ready for the morning, it's super calm, like there's not.

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I actually don't really like spaz on my kids a lot, like it's very, very calm.

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I don't really have to is, and so I get like you're throwing my mojo off.

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But I'm not trying to undermine him, but I get sometimes where it's like I just get like annoyed, you know, yeah, it's like he'll wake up and he's like checking for everything and like this is, this room isn't clean and this isn't done, and I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa.

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It's Saturday morning.

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This is like the first Saturday we had where we didn't get up and out, right, so it was like he wants to get things done, but I'm like that's not how we roll.

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We roll very calm in the mornings.

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So I don't know, it's really hard, I feel, for people that's husbands work out of town and come back.

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That has to be a really hard transition yeah, we were talking to our friend about that and her husband travels and she says it's a transition when he comes home because she's like hold on, we had our whole thing and now it's all thrown off.

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Yeah, that's how I feel.

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Yeah, like when I'm more, I feel like it's because we were gone and like we've I've.

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Just I haven't been around him as much, so it was harder for me this weekend right, because you were like nails on a chalkboard and not him.

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It's just like he cares about the things I don't care about, and that's what makes us work.

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But anytime I try to better myself.

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That's what's hard, I think, in marriage.

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When one person starts really growing and the other one isn't growing with them, I think that's gotta be really hard.

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Yeah, and I feel like I've seen that happen with couples.

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One person really gets healthy or gets sober and then the other person they divorce.

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So I read books in the mornings.

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I've talked about it since 75 Heart.

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I listen to books every morning because I try to fuel my brain before the day takes over and it's something that really helps me.

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So I'm reading.

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I told you guys about this book.

00:13:31.788 --> 00:13:33.214
I read about how to win.

00:13:33.214 --> 00:13:35.472
It's called how to Win Friends and Influence People.

00:13:35.472 --> 00:13:39.927
It's like an old school book.

00:13:39.927 --> 00:13:42.236
Kyle called this morning when we were driving and he was like they're talking about Abraham Lincoln.

00:13:42.236 --> 00:13:43.381
I'm over it, yeah, but it's really interesting.

00:13:43.381 --> 00:13:50.105
It's about, like, how to win people over by being positive more than, um, negative in a leadership role, which is really interesting.

00:13:51.025 --> 00:13:58.110
Um, I recently I'm just being going to be honest like Kristen Cavalieri, we I recently lost one of our team members at real estate.

00:13:58.110 --> 00:14:00.232
You know you guys have been on this journey with us.

00:14:00.232 --> 00:14:01.693
I was quitting a year ago.

00:14:01.693 --> 00:14:02.313
I'm back.

00:14:02.313 --> 00:14:05.777
Business is actually super good for us right now.

00:14:05.777 --> 00:14:13.163
The team's doing amazing, the team's super small, but I just lost someone One of my very, very, very close agents.

00:14:13.163 --> 00:14:21.754
She's been with me for seven years, so it was really hard on me the last couple weeks because I'm very personal and like what did I do wrong?

00:14:21.754 --> 00:14:23.166
How could I have handled this better?

00:14:23.166 --> 00:14:24.008
Was I not enough?

00:14:24.008 --> 00:14:32.000
You know and things have just changed a lot in the last year since my dad's passed and I may be a different leader, but I, reading this book, I'm learning.

00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:33.586
Did I motivate the right way?

00:14:33.586 --> 00:14:34.706
Did I give enough?

00:14:34.706 --> 00:14:35.769
Um, oh, it's making me.

00:14:35.769 --> 00:14:36.288
Did I give enough?

00:14:36.288 --> 00:14:37.129
Oh, it's making me emotional.

00:14:37.510 --> 00:14:37.650
Did.

00:14:37.671 --> 00:14:43.658
I give enough, like Tom, it's okay, like I don't know.

00:14:43.658 --> 00:14:45.461
It talked about how this is really weird.

00:14:45.461 --> 00:14:49.529
I haven't been crying a lot at all either, so it's super weird.

00:14:49.529 --> 00:14:51.797
But did I give enough like positive reinforcement?

00:14:51.797 --> 00:15:05.494
And I think that's why, like Kyle, was nails on a chalkboard for me, because I'm reading the book on how to like motivate people by positivity and maybe I'm like feeling guilty about that, because as a leader, I like things done.

00:15:05.494 --> 00:15:13.514
A certain way I'm very laid back in life, but at work Tisha would agree Like everything for Whole Twerf Homes is done.

00:15:13.514 --> 00:15:22.937
We have very high expectations and I wondered did I not make that person feel valued, feel special, feel like her or his opinion mattered?

00:15:22.937 --> 00:15:25.466
It's a her, but, um, I don't know.

00:15:25.687 --> 00:15:28.315
And it talked about how important it is for people to feel valued.

00:15:28.315 --> 00:15:33.075
That's like everyone's main need and I'm like how often does that happen, even at home?

00:15:33.075 --> 00:15:43.533
Like I was telling you this morning, I forgot to pay for Hudson's cheer fee and and I feel like sometimes with Maddie I didn't forget as much with stuff because she's first, and I'm like that didn't make Hudson feel valued.

00:15:43.533 --> 00:15:54.197
Right, that, like I did, that wasn't a priority of mine and sometimes, like we've been out of town a lot and I'm like maybe Broxton's not feeling he's been acting up a little when we're like together and I think he needs my attention, right.

00:15:54.197 --> 00:15:59.650
I'm like how often do people leave a relationship or a business, or even a friendship?

00:15:59.650 --> 00:16:00.773
I've had a lot of friends.

00:16:00.773 --> 00:16:02.778
This is really like therapy right now.

00:16:02.778 --> 00:16:07.466
I've had a lot of friends that struggle with me because they don't feel valued because I'm so busy, right.

00:16:07.466 --> 00:16:12.035
I don't know, it's a really good book, but it's very what's that word?

00:16:12.918 --> 00:16:25.854
Um, when you're being not convicting, convicting, very convicting for me, which I actually love, like when I love when something's convicting, but this book is very convicting for me, yeah, and I feel like a lot of leadership books because I've read them for years.

00:16:26.053 --> 00:16:32.706
I actually am like yep, yep, not like I have it all figured out whatsoever, but this one was like like every word.

00:16:32.706 --> 00:16:33.629
I'm like Whoa.

00:16:33.629 --> 00:16:48.306
I was seeing it as holding high expectations means holding everyone accountable, like every, every level should be here, and if you're not here, I'm gonna say it and I'm like real proud of myself that in my leadership field, I'm very honest, I'm very up front.

00:16:48.306 --> 00:16:50.898
I don't like keep a lot in, but is that the best thing?

00:16:50.898 --> 00:16:51.721
Is there a better way?

00:16:51.721 --> 00:16:57.496
I could have said things like you know a more motivating way he talks out in the book and they talked about at church.

00:16:58.197 --> 00:17:02.331
Even the best way to get the most out of people is compliment when they're doing what you want, right.

00:17:02.331 --> 00:17:05.227
But like with our kids, that's kind of what happened on Saturday morning.

00:17:05.227 --> 00:17:17.338
It was like the, the laundry's not done and your room's a mess, and I'm like we're pointing out 10 things everyone did wrong, instead of like the one time they cleaned their room being like I love when you clean your room like that, like that's the that makes me so happy.

00:17:17.338 --> 00:17:18.199
You know what I mean.

00:17:18.199 --> 00:17:24.082
Even with our husbands I'm like, I'm so, I'm pretty positive with the kids, to be honest, but with Kyle I'm not.

00:17:24.082 --> 00:17:25.803
I'm like, ah, why'd you do that Instead?

00:17:25.843 --> 00:17:26.164
of like.

00:17:26.586 --> 00:17:44.942
Hey, I love when you get home and you take rocks and you don't yell at us but it's hard to rewire your brain because when you want to say, like, what not to do instead of saying what to do, yeah, like as a coach, that's like a big thing I am is like the psychology of telling your athletes what to do instead of what not to do.

00:17:44.942 --> 00:17:51.984
Right, like, hey, let's make sure we hit everything instead of don't fall on that, right, it's like a very positive mindset.

00:17:51.984 --> 00:17:54.488
So you're focused on what to do, not what not to do.

00:17:54.689 --> 00:17:54.888
Right.

00:17:55.028 --> 00:18:03.681
But then in other areas it's like you know, kyle, stop yelling at the kids and you're being like, and I'll say like you're being annoying and they don't want a dad like that, and that's like horrible.

00:18:04.765 --> 00:18:05.247
It's not being positive.

00:18:05.247 --> 00:18:25.625
Yeah, but you're only human, yeah, no-transcript you.

00:18:25.645 --> 00:18:43.144
Yeah, that's good yeah, but I feel like with you know the team member that left, I think sometimes I think it's great that you take things so personal, because I think that's what makes you a great leader, because you you are thinking it's something that you can always, it's always in your control to fix and make everything great for everybody.

00:18:43.144 --> 00:18:55.429
But sometimes people are just on their own path and I think sometimes we never are going to naturally leave our comfort zone and so sometimes things just happen to us and it doesn't mean you weren't a great leader or you aren't a great leader.

00:18:55.429 --> 00:18:56.111
I think you are.

00:18:56.111 --> 00:19:09.574
I think maybe it's just sometimes things run their course and it's hard, and I think it's great that you're reflecting and it'll only make you better for the remaining team members, you know, but I don't think it was anything you did wrong.

00:19:09.673 --> 00:19:14.151
I think time, yeah, and you were just going through your own thing and and that person's going through their own thing.

00:19:14.151 --> 00:19:16.761
They're going through your own thing and and that person's going through their own thing.

00:19:16.761 --> 00:19:18.288
They're going through life things too.

00:19:18.288 --> 00:19:22.481
You know, like our kids are getting older, you know going, going away.

00:19:22.481 --> 00:19:27.753
So there's so many things I think you just need to.

00:19:27.753 --> 00:19:35.375
I do see what you're saying about being positive, but there's also like you have to also not take it all on yourself.

00:19:35.375 --> 00:19:39.787
You're you're not solely responsible for making someone feel valued.

00:19:39.787 --> 00:19:41.750
You know, because you're human.

00:19:41.750 --> 00:19:53.050
The only person that can ever truly fulfill that for everyone is God, and so if, if we're looking like my husband can't fulfill my every need, you, as my boss, can't fulfill my every need you know.

00:19:53.811 --> 00:19:58.567
So just trying to make you not think it's you Right, and I do think things all happen for a reason.

00:19:58.567 --> 00:20:01.474
Yeah, it's like we have friends too that are going through things.

00:20:01.474 --> 00:20:07.257
Tisha and I are on probably 20 group texts with me and her and someone else, me and her and someone else.

00:20:07.257 --> 00:20:08.287
It's pretty funny.

00:20:08.468 --> 00:20:14.830
It's like we're like the dynamic duo, like, yeah, it's like drinking around has turned into like and I think that's part of it.

00:20:14.871 --> 00:20:17.786
Yeah, it's like, we do this together we do work together.

00:20:17.786 --> 00:20:21.695
It's kind of like we do life together in a weird yeah, um, let's be honest way.

00:20:21.695 --> 00:20:29.876
Let's be honest yeah, but we're not lesbians, as you guys know, but one of us wants to be well, I like that new girl at cheer now, so she does have this girl she really likes.

00:20:29.876 --> 00:20:30.701
I have a crush.

00:20:30.942 --> 00:20:38.199
Yeah, it's something kind of like the guy I like saw this shirt in my closet the other day and I was like oh, she wore something like that.

00:20:38.199 --> 00:20:39.692
And I was like I wonder if I wear that.

00:20:39.692 --> 00:20:41.704
And then I was like what is wrong with you, you know?

00:20:41.704 --> 00:20:43.145
No, you are really into her too.

00:20:43.205 --> 00:20:44.467
It's real funny, it's so weird.

00:20:44.467 --> 00:20:45.548
Yeah, she's great though.

00:20:45.847 --> 00:20:46.028
Yeah.

00:20:46.048 --> 00:21:03.981
But I think sometimes pivot is sometimes and we talked about this before, cause I saw it on a, on a short but, like God's, pivot is sometimes a blessing and I do feel like all everything happens for a reason, but I do always try to like, learn and grow from everything, which you should.

00:21:04.102 --> 00:21:13.490
That's the if you can take away a learning experience from something happening that hurts you, then it's positive, you know.

00:21:13.490 --> 00:21:14.050
So that's a great quality.

00:21:14.090 --> 00:21:17.135
But Well, it's funny because on the way here we were talking, it doesn't always mean you need to change everything.

00:21:17.135 --> 00:21:25.103
I know you're right and, on the way, here we were talking about a lot of things that we'll get into, because we kind of just try to outline what we're going to talk about.

00:21:25.182 --> 00:21:25.363
Right.

00:21:25.545 --> 00:21:41.753
But it's funny because years ago when we started growing the team, it was like so exciting and if any of you are realtors or anyone out there that has thought about growing a team in any capacity, I, you guys know, if you listen, I like to be more like the bigger and better kind of person.

00:21:41.753 --> 00:21:44.355
Tisha's more like content with smaller private.

00:21:44.355 --> 00:21:45.817
We're like opposite, like that.

00:21:45.836 --> 00:21:51.661
So, when real estate took off and then our team started to grow, it was exciting for me.

00:21:51.661 --> 00:22:02.375
I'm like, okay, let's be the best team and the biggest team out there, Right, I mean not bigger per se, but we were having a lot of people asked to be on our team you know, and we, we do do real estate differently.

00:22:02.435 --> 00:22:07.287
It's very about the people, it's very about our clients and we kind of have a different edge to the way we do things.

00:22:07.287 --> 00:22:08.748
So I think it started to get attention.

00:22:08.748 --> 00:22:10.250
And it's hard for me.

00:22:10.250 --> 00:22:12.833
I'm like, oh, I'll help them, let's bring them on, let's bring them on.

00:22:12.833 --> 00:22:17.778
And our team grew and grew and it was a blessing to be able to have so many people.

00:22:17.837 --> 00:22:26.627
But what happened is just financially, as from a business standpoint, bigger isn't always better.

00:22:26.627 --> 00:22:29.076
When bigger grew, then bigger expenses grew, then bigger responsibilities grew, then bigger overhead grew.

00:22:29.076 --> 00:22:38.477
And for me, you see all these big teams or you see these influencers, or you see all these people, especially on social media, where it looks like bigger is better, and for me, I want to tell you bigger is not better.

00:22:38.477 --> 00:22:45.409
So, like, what's happened is, I feel like we climbed and we climbed and we climbed and I got to the top and it was like that's kind of what happened when my dad died.

00:22:45.409 --> 00:22:48.684
I feel like we were doing all the things and we were growing.

00:22:48.684 --> 00:22:51.367
Like right before, probably a year before my dad died, I went.

00:22:51.367 --> 00:22:57.836
I feel like I'm at the top, where I can taste the top, I can see where these people are and it's like up here it sucks.

00:22:57.836 --> 00:23:02.807
It's way better when you're back to the root of why you do things More money, more problems.

00:23:02.989 --> 00:23:11.988
It is like there's more overhead, like I was making the most money I've ever made, but I was taking home the least because I had to pay for everybody and I had to do everything and I was to grow.

00:23:11.988 --> 00:23:17.396
Your name costs money and branding and and this and that, and to keep all your clients happy and coming in.

00:23:17.396 --> 00:23:19.259
It's like it costs money to grow.

00:23:19.259 --> 00:23:21.123
So it's like funny.

00:23:21.123 --> 00:23:22.244
I feel like I've gone the other way.

00:23:22.244 --> 00:23:23.528
Now it's like scaling down.

00:23:23.528 --> 00:23:25.233
I want to go back to why I got into this.

00:23:25.634 --> 00:23:29.608
And it was for the people and the clients and I actually we talk about this a lot I love the deal.

00:23:29.608 --> 00:23:32.632
I don't love the big team, I don't love managing people all the time.

00:23:32.632 --> 00:23:35.255
I just love helping people in the deal, you know.

00:23:35.255 --> 00:23:40.681
So I feel like as we're scaling down, it's probably like you're shedding your skin, like it just changes.

00:23:40.681 --> 00:23:47.718
So now I feel like we're back to the root of like how I started and I am super happy, so I didn't have to quit.

00:23:47.964 --> 00:23:50.954
More relationship focused, thus business focused.

00:23:51.045 --> 00:23:54.388
Yeah, totally, and more like what's in front of me instead of the big picture.

00:23:54.388 --> 00:24:00.255
Yeah, so in real estate it's hard to run a business and take care of your clients, so you kind of go into two lanes.

00:24:00.255 --> 00:24:02.616
So now I feel like we're just taking care of our clients.

00:24:02.616 --> 00:24:04.219
Running the business is in God's hands.

00:24:04.219 --> 00:24:05.640
Yeah, hope that works.

00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:22.429
I guess we'll see it's going great, yeah, but yeah, it's funny because weeks ago it's like it's I, it doesn't matter.

00:24:22.449 --> 00:24:22.849
You know what I mean.

00:24:22.849 --> 00:24:25.116
Yeah, it's like who cares, like we're making a difference to help people.

00:24:25.116 --> 00:24:28.828
You know, and like that is really what you care about you know, and I like the list.

00:24:29.069 --> 00:24:29.410
Totally.

00:24:29.810 --> 00:24:30.131
I'm just.

00:24:30.131 --> 00:24:31.532
I don't know why I'm not like that.

00:24:31.574 --> 00:24:33.135
I wish I was wired more.

00:24:33.135 --> 00:24:34.096
I know I want to not be wired like that.

00:24:34.096 --> 00:24:45.073
I'm like am I a loser that I'm not more like no, I think it's just a validation that like, yeah, in our business it's so numbers based, which our numbers are really good, right, but it's like it's just a pissing contest.

00:24:45.133 --> 00:24:45.374
Yeah.

00:24:45.615 --> 00:25:02.965
It's so much, I think in any business right Like there's levels, lot of affairs Because there was a lot of happy hours and then with drinking comes canoodling and like all that fake business stuff.

00:25:02.986 --> 00:25:03.786
I'm not doing a happy hour with anybody.

00:25:03.786 --> 00:25:04.266
We don't do any of that.

00:25:04.707 --> 00:25:06.907
No, nothing, no, we just jerk around.

00:25:06.907 --> 00:25:20.395
Anyways, speaking of influencers, key documentary this weekend with Kyle, and she was a YouTube star that started recording her family Right Years and years ago.

00:25:20.415 --> 00:25:22.837
They were like married With five kids.

00:25:22.837 --> 00:25:24.239
Yeah, In Utah.

00:25:24.239 --> 00:25:25.739
They're Mormon right In Utah.

00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:28.780
Oh, sorry, I didn't get your messages no.

00:25:28.780 --> 00:25:30.742
Yeah, they're just people in Utah.

00:25:30.883 --> 00:25:31.623
People in Utah.

00:25:34.885 --> 00:25:37.349
Might have had different beliefs, and they were.

00:25:37.349 --> 00:25:39.653
She had six kids, yeah, so they were eight passengers.

00:25:39.653 --> 00:25:43.145
Was their YouTube handle when it was all about their family, right?

00:25:43.145 --> 00:25:47.571
So they would video their family and it was really fun at first and then it became like the business.

00:25:47.571 --> 00:26:05.311
So it showed like behind the scenes videos that they got from her yeah, you know she's in jail and it showed her like now, smile, and then it would be like live, and then the kids would all be laughing and it would show the camera like when she put it down, and it would be like like Muffy, like it was like crazy.

00:26:05.372 --> 00:26:10.211
It's weird that Kyle watched it with you and then he's like I feel like it's like Tisha like yelling at her kids.

00:26:10.211 --> 00:26:20.137
Not say that, not the recording part, but just the yelling like he said that I think he was being funny, you know, because I'm always yelling at my kids, you know it's like so funny, yeah, like very smiling.

00:26:20.157 --> 00:26:24.175
Yeah, we're going to Disneyland, and if you don't want to, be, happy at Disneyland.

00:26:24.175 --> 00:26:26.104
But that part was like relatable.

00:26:26.104 --> 00:26:30.977
So I was like, okay, am I going to jail because like yeah, I'm all well, it's your competition.

00:26:31.017 --> 00:26:31.885
Ken won't take a picture of me.

00:26:31.885 --> 00:26:33.409
I'm like I pay millions of dollars.

00:26:33.409 --> 00:26:35.972
You better take your picture right now or you're not.

00:26:35.972 --> 00:26:37.236
You're kicked off, like you know.

00:26:37.236 --> 00:26:38.017
I get crazy.

00:26:38.017 --> 00:26:39.058
It's fine, you know.

00:26:39.239 --> 00:26:39.500
Yeah.

00:26:39.500 --> 00:26:40.891
So I'm like am I going to go to jail?

00:26:40.891 --> 00:26:46.228
You know, like Ruby Frankie is kind of relatable, so the beginning was all relatable and her husband was like I.

00:26:46.228 --> 00:26:50.056
His perspective was actually really interesting for a man.

00:26:50.056 --> 00:26:51.358
He was like a dork, yeah.

00:26:51.358 --> 00:27:04.969
And he was like validation, yeah, that he wasn't a dork.

00:27:04.969 --> 00:27:12.695
He was very fit, like oh, he was getting like yes, and he was like I was getting fulfilled by like finally making it, you know, and um.

00:27:12.695 --> 00:27:17.471
So they grew into this big family but it's crazy, the kids didn't want a video anymore.

00:27:17.471 --> 00:27:19.048
They said their whole life.

00:27:19.048 --> 00:27:21.276
It was like the Ted, what's that show?

00:27:21.276 --> 00:27:24.285
The Truman Show or something.

00:27:24.404 --> 00:27:25.590
Oh yeah, where it's all video.

00:27:26.365 --> 00:27:29.174
Video and they're like our house became a set.

00:27:29.174 --> 00:27:31.105
Yeah, our vacations became a set.

00:27:31.164 --> 00:27:43.259
Well, I follow some people on Instagram and I'm like thinking I'm like these poor kids, oh, so many people on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and it's 24 7 and you can tell the kids are like looking at the camera and they're like, do you like that toy?

00:27:43.259 --> 00:27:43.880
Swipe up.

00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:47.167
And I'm like the kid isn't like the toy, you know, but it's crazy.

00:27:47.367 --> 00:27:48.751
I know and this is our generation.

00:27:48.751 --> 00:27:52.125
Yeah, like, this is real, I know, and sometimes I fall for it.

00:27:52.125 --> 00:27:53.269
We text um.

00:27:53.269 --> 00:27:56.737
Tisha and I and my sister-in-law we text about things in Instagram.

00:27:56.737 --> 00:27:59.411
Yeah, and sometimes we're like ooh, look at this.

00:27:59.411 --> 00:28:00.217
And they're like do you picture that?

00:28:00.217 --> 00:28:01.163
They have a tripod set up?

00:28:01.163 --> 00:28:05.496
And it's funny, because we're so like elementary and I don't think about that.

00:28:05.496 --> 00:28:08.011
Yeah, like when you're watching it, you think, oh, that looks so cool.

00:28:08.031 --> 00:28:09.115
Like there's a fly on the wall.

00:28:18.484 --> 00:28:21.114
But it's like it's so funny I fall right.

00:28:21.114 --> 00:28:22.951
It would be someone you would hate.

00:28:22.951 --> 00:28:25.717
So she wakes up at 5 o'clock every day and works out.

00:28:25.717 --> 00:28:26.823
She has four kids.

00:28:26.823 --> 00:28:27.305
I hate those people.

00:28:27.305 --> 00:28:30.269
She does her reading every morning, oh you would hate her.

00:28:30.329 --> 00:28:31.114
It's so cute.

00:28:31.704 --> 00:28:32.710
And I'm eating it every day.

00:28:38.244 --> 00:28:40.192
I'm like I'm going to wake up at 5 o'clock oh like eat blueberries in my oatmeal every day.

00:28:40.212 --> 00:28:40.855
Yes, it's like bed, it's all of it.

00:28:40.855 --> 00:28:41.577
I'm like, oh my God, it's so boring.

00:28:41.577 --> 00:28:42.260
She makes sourdough every morning.

00:28:42.260 --> 00:28:42.563
I'm asleep.

00:28:42.563 --> 00:28:43.164
She has four boys.

00:28:43.164 --> 00:28:55.093
She's having a fifth boy and she said Mama, four boys Every day.

00:28:55.093 --> 00:28:59.455
It's the Mama, the designer, and she's a Christian and it's like I'm having Brooke.

00:28:59.455 --> 00:29:01.576
I'm like I'm going to start doing what Brooke's doing.

00:29:01.576 --> 00:29:02.778
Yeah, I'm never doing that.

00:29:02.778 --> 00:29:04.298
Oh, I'm doing all of Brooke's things.

00:29:04.298 --> 00:29:05.819
She puts red lipstick on every day.

00:29:05.819 --> 00:29:07.601
I might start putting red lipstick on every day.

00:29:07.601 --> 00:29:09.103
She like made this.

00:29:09.103 --> 00:29:14.528
It's like so someone you'd hate.

00:29:14.548 --> 00:29:18.271
She made like a book with like laminated pages for her Disney World trip, yeah.

00:29:18.432 --> 00:29:23.217
And then was selling the book on how they do Disney and I hate Disney and I was like, should I get the book, like Brooke?

00:29:23.217 --> 00:29:23.597
Yeah.

00:29:23.698 --> 00:29:27.541
I should make a book on how to wipe you know I fell right into it.

00:29:27.924 --> 00:29:30.252
I know, but now, when you picture the tripod, you're like you're right.

00:29:30.252 --> 00:29:32.431
Yeah, you know, it's not the same.

00:29:42.526 --> 00:29:43.086
But I can't stop watching.

00:29:43.086 --> 00:29:43.769
Nothing is just what it seems.

00:29:43.769 --> 00:29:49.345
I make sourdough, then I want to record things and because I'm like, oh, I should do this, and my kids are like so uncooperative, they're like god, mom, like, like, or I'm like I smiled, like don't post it, like it's so crazy.

00:29:49.345 --> 00:29:51.632
I know they hate like anything.

00:29:51.632 --> 00:30:00.229
I could never be like an Instagram star, right, and that's the fact that, like no one's watching, but yeah no, but like it starts with no one watching.

00:30:00.249 --> 00:30:02.375
Yeah, no, my, my kids are so uncooperative.

00:30:02.375 --> 00:30:05.414
And then, ben, I'm, I'll take a picture of me and it's all the worst angle.

00:30:05.414 --> 00:30:14.170
You know, like the husbands are so recording and they're, like Brooke's, always taking a picture of the red lipstick yeah, and they're watching, or like the husband's recording the wife and she's like holding the kids out.

00:30:14.170 --> 00:30:15.813
I'm'm all get a picture of me carrying.

00:30:15.813 --> 00:30:17.515
You know it's like the worst angle.

00:30:17.695 --> 00:30:32.807
He's horrible, I know, but what the weirdest thing is with so many of these people, brooke Ray, I can't read the word r-a-w wait, r-a-y-b-o-u-l-d, raybould I don't know how'd you get Brooke Burke from that.

00:30:32.807 --> 00:30:34.210
I don't know, isn't she a celebrity?

00:30:34.250 --> 00:30:35.311
yeah, she used to be on my.

00:30:35.311 --> 00:30:37.635
Watch her stomach, I know, do you get?

00:30:37.655 --> 00:30:38.557
that like ad.

00:30:38.557 --> 00:30:40.721
So Kyle is next to me the other day.

00:30:40.721 --> 00:30:42.865
And the ad for Brooke.

00:30:42.865 --> 00:30:45.934
He goes every day and I like started doing sit-ups.

00:30:45.934 --> 00:30:46.798
Her ad.

00:30:46.798 --> 00:30:47.662
Have you seen Brooke?

00:30:47.662 --> 00:30:51.290
She's like in her underwear, yeah, it's the best.

00:30:51.290 --> 00:30:53.215
So Kyle's next to me and I'm sliding through Instagram.

00:30:53.215 --> 00:30:54.097
He goes who is that?

00:30:54.097 --> 00:30:54.988
What is that?

00:30:54.988 --> 00:30:57.746
And I'm like it's an ad and he's like who's that girl?

00:30:57.746 --> 00:30:59.192
And it's like her side.

00:30:59.192 --> 00:31:00.919
I've never seen she's in like underwear?

00:31:00.959 --> 00:31:03.887
yes, but it's like, I see it every day, it's like the best body.

00:31:03.948 --> 00:31:06.653
Yeah, it is it's every day they're moving.

00:31:06.653 --> 00:31:07.777
Look mama, for boys.

00:31:07.777 --> 00:31:08.238
You see her.

00:31:08.238 --> 00:31:10.048
They're in matching outfits.

00:31:10.048 --> 00:31:16.637
We're not finding out the gender of the baby in spandex oh my god yeah, and she wakes up at five every day.

00:31:17.278 --> 00:31:21.833
Mama wait this is the real reason why moms are so tired.

00:31:21.833 --> 00:31:24.979
Did you know moms make over 200 decisions a day.

00:31:25.346 --> 00:31:26.950
Yeah, and she has a whiteboard in her house.

00:31:26.950 --> 00:31:29.537
I'm like I need to get a whiteboard in my house.

00:31:29.537 --> 00:31:33.515
I know you totally are like doing all those things yeah to four boys.

00:31:33.535 --> 00:31:36.366
This is our husband wife 5 am morning routine.

00:31:36.406 --> 00:31:42.217
10 years into parenting, we've developed a 10-step morning routine that's transformed both our marriage and the way we parent.

00:31:42.217 --> 00:31:43.865
Every time I'm like writing those steps down.

00:31:43.904 --> 00:31:46.054
See, this is annoying, though, because let me tell you why it's annoying.

00:31:46.054 --> 00:31:48.653
First, it's annoying because people are making money.

00:31:48.653 --> 00:31:56.095
She's making money off people trying to make their mornings better yeah, but, like they're probably more stressed out because they can't master this 10 steps.

00:31:56.095 --> 00:31:58.699
And she homeschools, yeah, and you're just making her money.

00:31:58.699 --> 00:32:00.240
And it's dumb, oh, and she takes cold showers.

00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:01.730
She probably doesn't even do that.

00:32:01.730 --> 00:32:08.279
She probably just records it once and then sells it and people are buying it and they're all stressed out trying to do the morning.

00:32:08.279 --> 00:32:08.944
Oh, I have been stressed out.

00:32:09.085 --> 00:32:20.471
If someone recorded my morning, it's all it's all tj yells at me is my heating pad hot, you know?

00:32:20.471 --> 00:32:21.457
And then it's all him putting the heating back.

00:32:21.457 --> 00:32:28.012
I'm a mama for a kid sitting on the couch, I'm a mama for, and I'm all and I'm all you know.

00:32:29.394 --> 00:32:31.117
I'm like reading my devotional scrolling.

00:32:31.357 --> 00:32:35.432
I love that about you though because I always fall into this crap.

00:32:35.432 --> 00:32:44.934
I'm not always fall into it and I'm like always the overachiever personality yeah, and Tisha's like not, no, and she's like I'm not doing that and like you're still very productive in life.

00:32:44.934 --> 00:32:50.186
I'm so productive, yeah, and you're not doing any of it no, she waits, I'm gonna make, I'm gonna make a guide for.

00:32:50.287 --> 00:32:52.969
Now she has a bedding company yeah.

00:32:52.969 --> 00:32:54.309
Oh yeah, like bedding a bag.

00:32:54.549 --> 00:32:56.530
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, her and her husband.

00:32:56.530 --> 00:32:58.071
He's a lawyer, they're moving to Texas.00:32:58.071 --> 00:32:59.833


They're doing it yeah, oh yeah.00:32:59.833 --> 00:33:02.073


And she meets on Sunday nights.00:33:02.073 --> 00:33:11.255


I don't even want to tell you they have a family planning meeting, oh yeah, with her husband, and then they type up the agenda of the week.00:33:11.255 --> 00:33:14.165


Their kids must want to just like run away.00:33:14.165 --> 00:33:16.355


I know it does kind of look funny, it's too much.00:33:16.355 --> 00:33:17.583


Yeah, Disneyland was stressful.00:33:17.583 --> 00:33:18.630


She had red lipstick on every day, though.00:33:18.630 --> 00:33:19.213


Yeah, it's not fun.00:33:19.555 --> 00:33:29.836


Yeah, she had her outfits planned oh my gosh, mine it guide.00:33:29.836 --> 00:33:32.281


Like marry a husband that makes your coffee and does the laundry.00:33:32.281 --> 00:33:34.286


And then, like, wake up in cities, cities, yeah, cities for minimum 45 minutes.00:33:34.286 --> 00:33:34.948


Isn't that long?00:33:34.948 --> 00:33:40.165


It's like 30, yeah, but like they know, don't talk to me, I'm not doing it like I'm doing my coffee.00:33:40.226 --> 00:33:45.085


It's not my fault, you didn't do your homework last night exactly I'm not gonna be in a rush and miss my cities.00:33:45.085 --> 00:33:50.067


She wakes up at 5 am, she works out, she runs two miles a day and does 20 minutes of strength training every single day.00:33:50.067 --> 00:33:52.383


Then she takes a cold shower and gets dressed for the day.00:33:52.383 --> 00:33:58.740


She believes that getting dressed like fully cute outfit every single day makes her feel more productive and I can see that for some people.00:33:58.740 --> 00:33:59.984


So I'm all trying to get in the cold shower.00:34:03.843 --> 00:34:04.463


I keep feeling it.00:34:04.463 --> 00:34:18.476


And if you're not that type A personality, like if I tried to do that, I would be so stressed out, miserable, because and I'd be setting myself up for failure because it's not like something I'm good at, yeah, so for me, I'm like get a hike in today, it doesn't matter.00:34:18.476 --> 00:34:20.304


If it's 5 o'clock, I don't need to wake up.00:34:20.304 --> 00:34:21.681


I'm never waking up at 5 am.00:34:21.681 --> 00:34:32.327


No, so I o'clock.00:34:32.327 --> 00:34:33.222


It might be you know you hike a lot of days, but I'm hiking all the time.00:34:33.222 --> 00:34:33.880


Exactly, you get it in there and you get it in.00:34:33.795 --> 00:34:36.172


That's great for a type a personality but, like there needs to be, you can still be successful and be a type b.00:34:36.172 --> 00:34:38.282


You know, and I wouldn't say you're a type b at work at all, no, I'm very type a than me.00:34:38.623 --> 00:34:41.574


Yeah, I get back to people right away, but there's things I'm not doing.00:34:41.594 --> 00:34:45.641


But how many people watch Brooke rebuild and feel less than that's?00:34:45.661 --> 00:34:49.728


what I'm saying, cause you're not doing that and you don't need Disneyland with the color coded or whatever.00:34:49.907 --> 00:34:53.349


Oh, and the outfits, no and all of those Disney outfits, you know, I know.00:34:54.056 --> 00:34:55.240


I hate a matching outfit.00:34:55.240 --> 00:34:56.494


It's so expensive and.00:34:56.514 --> 00:35:01.702


I'm like they're always shopping at like Sprouts together as a family and I'm like we should drop a Sprouts together as a family.00:35:08.295 --> 00:35:08.476


I store.00:35:08.476 --> 00:35:09.460


No, I'm never going to the grocery store.00:35:09.460 --> 00:35:10.202


I'm overpaying instacart, oh my god.00:35:10.222 --> 00:35:10.824


I'm tipping $80.00:35:10.824 --> 00:35:11.146


It's outrageous.00:35:11.146 --> 00:35:17.715


I do that too, and last night we went to go get um my niece's birthday today, so we went late to go get her something yeah, I went, and Hudson goes 6 am this is mortifying.00:35:17.715 --> 00:35:19.197


My daughter goes.00:35:19.197 --> 00:35:23.568


This is my second time ever I've been in fries ever, ever, really.00:35:23.568 --> 00:35:24.315


That she can remember?00:35:24.315 --> 00:35:26.581


Yeah, because we didn't have instacart when we were little.00:35:26.581 --> 00:35:27.402


We took them all the time.00:35:27.402 --> 00:35:28.425


They always went grocery shopping with me.00:35:28.425 --> 00:35:30.076


I remember having all mine on the cart.00:35:30.155 --> 00:35:31.179


Yeah, what's happening?00:35:31.179 --> 00:35:32.422


This is awful.00:35:32.422 --> 00:35:39.675


Oh, is it bad that last night Ken told me I need to bring the gift and so I was on instacart at 10 o'clock last night and I was gonna instacart it, but it's.00:35:39.675 --> 00:35:42.661


They don't do good at picking out balloons and flowers, so I had to go this morning.00:35:42.681 --> 00:35:47.268


Yeah, anyways yeah no, I do feel like the, so I watched that one.00:35:47.268 --> 00:35:50.074


I forgot her name now Brooke Ray, something.00:35:50.074 --> 00:35:53.043


No, the one.00:35:53.063 --> 00:35:53.543


Ruby Frank.00:35:53.543 --> 00:35:54.547


Okay, so Ruby Frank.00:35:54.547 --> 00:35:55.719


So what happened with Ruby?00:35:55.719 --> 00:35:56.481


Let me do it.00:35:56.481 --> 00:36:01.635


Oh, yeah, yeah, they started following this influencer Back then.00:36:01.635 --> 00:36:03.777


It wasn't even an influencer, it was crazy.00:36:03.777 --> 00:36:05.139


She's a therapist.00:36:05.139 --> 00:36:05.980


It was Hillebrand.00:36:05.980 --> 00:36:08.422


Her name was Hillebrand, something, hillebrand.00:36:08.422 --> 00:36:09.463


She was single.00:36:09.463 --> 00:36:15.449


This is what drives me nuts, like why do people follow marriage advice for someone that isn't even?00:36:15.449 --> 00:36:18.719


I don't even know if she ever had been married, right, like she doesn't know.00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:20.525


No, and her kids?00:36:20.525 --> 00:36:22.681


Yeah, she's estranged from her kids.00:36:22.681 --> 00:36:24.938


Yeah, why are we listening?00:36:24.938 --> 00:36:32.684


She lived alone in this um like Sedona in Utah, where we stopped, where we stopped in for the.00:36:32.684 --> 00:36:36.615


The oh, st George in St George in the middle of nowhere is where she lives.00:36:36.615 --> 00:36:46.963


So I'm like she lives in the middle of nowhere by herself, but she is a marriage and family person, but none of her kids are with her right, I don't think they were that old.00:36:47.083 --> 00:36:48.425


Yeah, that's what we call a red flag.00:36:48.425 --> 00:36:51.070


Yes, yeah, like giant red flag.00:36:51.110 --> 00:36:53.355


Yeah then she has these men in these groups.00:36:53.355 --> 00:37:00.942


They're in these facetime groups talking about sexual impurity and she's yelling at them that they're lustful and that they want to do weird things to their wife.00:37:00.942 --> 00:37:09.186


It was like, oh god he wants to do all the things.00:37:09.186 --> 00:37:10.228


Men are like feeling bad.00:37:10.228 --> 00:37:12.739


They want to do these things and she's all.00:37:12.739 --> 00:37:15.385


You're lusting, your wife and I'm all.00:37:15.385 --> 00:37:16.648


Isn't that what like is good?00:37:16.648 --> 00:37:18.378


Like, aren't you supposed to.00:37:18.458 --> 00:37:19.119


I'm at your house.00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:28.443


You should be like spraying holy water all over that bitch but like that's normal, isn't it?00:37:28.625 --> 00:37:30.447


it is normal, like it was weird.00:37:30.447 --> 00:37:33.987


She's like you gotta do all this, oh my gosh so this lady's an idiot.00:37:34.068 --> 00:37:35.313


And why are men listening to a woman?00:37:35.313 --> 00:37:36.577


Sorry, that's stupid.00:37:36.577 --> 00:37:42.793


Oh, like a guy shouldn't listen to a woman's advice about sex yeah, no, yeah.00:37:43.114 --> 00:37:44.458


So they're all in this group every week.00:37:44.458 --> 00:37:48.106


I'm like these men, these men so demasculating, so this girl.00:37:48.175 --> 00:37:51.101


Yeah, her husband sounds like a little bitch Whose Ruby's.00:37:51.922 --> 00:37:52.545


Yeah, he was.00:37:52.545 --> 00:37:54.288


Yeah, I could tell it gets really bad.00:37:54.288 --> 00:37:58.025


So okay, so Hill and Brand, they take over this lady.00:37:58.025 --> 00:38:02.503


Her son started acting up this is so sad because he was sick of being on camera.00:38:02.503 --> 00:38:03.956


Yeah, so he started acting up.00:38:03.956 --> 00:38:04.838


He got kicked out of school.00:38:04.838 --> 00:38:06.061


Ruby's crying on the thing.00:38:06.061 --> 00:38:19.409


My son got kicked out of school, which I was like wow, I wouldn't tell anybody, I'd be like there he is going to school and put back in his room right like brooke raybilled or whatever.00:38:19.449 --> 00:38:21.077


Maybe that's why your kids are homeschooled.00:38:21.278 --> 00:38:23.684


They all got kicked out, yeah, but it's looking perfect.00:38:23.704 --> 00:38:24.795


Yeah, exactly you know.00:38:24.815 --> 00:38:26.559


So I'm like, wow, she's telling him she's crying.00:38:26.559 --> 00:38:27.561


He got kicked out.00:38:27.561 --> 00:38:34.900


So then he started doing weekly therapy with this lady, so he now like loves her it gets so weird to you.00:38:35.054 --> 00:38:36.900


Yeah, she like brainwashed these people.00:38:36.900 --> 00:38:38.085


So then it's so.00:38:38.085 --> 00:38:40.402


I can't stand when people get brainwashed by people.00:38:40.402 --> 00:38:41.284


It drives me nuts.00:38:48.114 --> 00:38:52.208


It's in these conferences called connections with an ex, and then they like, do all these talks and and what happened is jody, is that her name?00:38:52.208 --> 00:38:52.751


What's the lady?00:38:52.751 --> 00:39:00.146


Ruby, ruby, I'm thinking jody, areas, you're like talking about now jody areas.00:39:00.726 --> 00:39:01.949


That's horrible.00:39:01.949 --> 00:39:03.431


It turns, I'm telling you.00:39:03.431 --> 00:39:03.831


It turns.00:39:03.831 --> 00:39:10.847


Ruby kyle keeps calling me ruby at home too, like when I'm yelling he's like Ruby and I'm like, yes, awful, so, okay.00:39:10.847 --> 00:39:16.742


So the Hillenbrand lady now they're all doing these connections, now they're speakers for connections.00:39:16.742 --> 00:39:20.385


She took her son's bed away for seven months.00:39:20.385 --> 00:39:22.001


He had to sleep in the basement on a bean bag.00:39:22.001 --> 00:39:24.577


This is when things start to turn.00:39:24.577 --> 00:39:25.318


Yeah, that's weird.00:39:25.318 --> 00:39:30.826


Because he's being selfish, and the selfish is from the devil, right, yeah, so she's starting to like really lay it down.00:39:30.846 --> 00:39:31.186


Spiral.00:39:31.206 --> 00:39:33.250


So they were like a normal family, with the yelling and everything.00:39:33.250 --> 00:39:34.090


Yeah, that was all normal.00:39:34.175 --> 00:39:35.793


So the lady is like culty, right?00:39:35.793 --> 00:39:37.632


Yes, so she's telling him that it's the devil.00:39:37.652 --> 00:39:44.704


Yes, yeah, you know, we got to get the kids to mind.00:39:44.704 --> 00:39:48.010


And then the kids said yeah, I slept on a beanbag for seven months.00:39:48.010 --> 00:39:52.936


So YouTube lights her up, which they should Totally, you know.00:39:52.936 --> 00:39:54.855


They light her up and said you're abusing this kid blah blah blah.00:39:54.875 --> 00:39:55.880


Yeah, why wasn't CPS?00:39:55.960 --> 00:39:56.240


called.00:39:56.240 --> 00:40:00.485


Oh, CPS was called like 10 times on these kids.00:40:00.485 --> 00:40:03.141


And they didn't do anything because there was no evidence of abuse.00:40:03.141 --> 00:40:06.695


Once it turns, let me tell you abuse.00:40:06.695 --> 00:40:09.786


Once it turns, let me tell you, yeah, yeah, I don't know if anybody cares, but I did care about the documentary, so, ruby.00:40:09.786 --> 00:40:21.023


So then she starts like being a speaker on like because Helen Brand and the lady is not cute, not saying that, people only follow cute people because I only follow cute people, oh my god, she says that a lot.00:40:21.125 --> 00:40:24.255


I don't but Brooke does have the red lipstick and she's very pretty.00:40:24.255 --> 00:40:26.260


Yeah, brooke Raybould, or whatever bald.00:40:26.260 --> 00:40:28.266


Yeah, I don't know how to say that word.00:40:28.266 --> 00:40:29.255


Yeah, anyways.00:40:29.255 --> 00:40:32.626


So the Helen Brand is not cute and it's weird.00:40:32.626 --> 00:40:35.242


I can't believe the following because I'm not seeing it.00:40:35.744 --> 00:40:37.853


So anyway, yeah, like why aren't people following us and they're following her.00:40:38.034 --> 00:40:48.349


So the Helen Brand is in the Red Rocks or whatever what's it called In Utah, like she's having like satanic things where she like is seeing weird things around her house.00:40:48.855 --> 00:40:50.197


Oh, like paranormal activity.00:40:50.197 --> 00:40:51.320


I read that yeah, yeah, yeah.00:40:51.320 --> 00:40:52.804


Well, no, it's the devil, yeah.00:40:53.005 --> 00:40:54.307


Yeah, so it gets weird.00:40:54.307 --> 00:40:56.202


So she's like he's here.00:40:56.494 --> 00:40:57.460


So is she making it up?00:40:57.460 --> 00:40:57.981


I don't know.00:40:58.114 --> 00:41:02.641


So the whole family of the eight passengers goes out to the house and they're like there's too many weird things.00:41:02.641 --> 00:41:06.106


She's she's got to come live with us so she moves in.00:41:06.106 --> 00:41:08.088


This is like black.00:41:08.088 --> 00:41:08.951


That's when things get weird.00:41:08.951 --> 00:41:10.920


So now at night she's having these.00:41:10.920 --> 00:41:18.387


In her night she's having these terrors and there's videos of her like, like in tongues and it's bad.00:41:18.427 --> 00:41:19.068


I shouldn't laugh.00:41:19.068 --> 00:41:20.474


This is horrible that this happened to these kids.00:41:20.474 --> 00:41:21.681


So in the middle of the night it's happening.00:41:21.681 --> 00:41:22.456


We can't make that a clip?00:41:22.476 --> 00:41:29.929


So now, Ruby goes and has to sleep in her room with Hillenbrand because she has to help keep the people away.00:41:30.054 --> 00:41:32.403


This is reminding me of that stupid kid.00:41:32.403 --> 00:41:35.664


Do you remember that one kidnapped in plain sight?00:41:35.664 --> 00:41:38.483


Yes, that's what it's like when I'm like these people are idiots.00:41:38.534 --> 00:41:44.458


That's exactly what it's like, and it's all happening slow, like the frog effect, yes, and they're not realizing this woman is ruining your life.00:41:44.458 --> 00:41:48.262


So now the kids are getting punished all the time because Hillenbrand's living there.00:41:48.262 --> 00:41:53.630


So now the wife is in the bed with the Hillenbrand and the daughter the oldest daughter is starting to see things are going weird.00:41:53.630 --> 00:41:57.675


Yeah, and sees like massage oils on the thing and like all this weird stuff by the bed.00:41:57.755 --> 00:41:58.938


So they're having like a three.00:41:59.621 --> 00:42:00.384


No, not with the daughter.00:42:01.039 --> 00:42:01.914


No, the husband in the white.00:42:01.934 --> 00:42:03.998


No, the husband's in his own bed, oh shoot.00:42:03.998 --> 00:42:05.740


She's with the Hillenbrand, oh shoot.00:42:05.740 --> 00:42:13.398


So then they decide that the husband, that they need space, they kick the husband out and they kick the son out, the son that fixed his life.00:42:13.659 --> 00:42:27.123


Yeah, and they're not allowed to talk to each other or the family, yeah, cause that's normal For one year, one year they don't talk and the and the husband just leaves Cause he's thinking that Hillenbrand, he's not being godly and he needs to give separation for a year.00:42:27.123 --> 00:42:30.449


While they're out of the house, the abuse starts with the kids.00:42:30.449 --> 00:42:34.233


They think the two kids are satanically possessed oh my gosh.00:42:34.233 --> 00:42:36.202


So they lock him in a room with no food or water.00:42:37.197 --> 00:42:40.126


The kid had duct tape around his ankles, hadn't eaten in weeks.00:42:40.126 --> 00:42:45.648


They were like cutting him, like physically to get the demons out, or whatever.00:42:45.648 --> 00:42:49.096


The journal entries she had had she's fully saying what's happening.00:42:49.096 --> 00:42:49.797


They're possessed.00:42:50.539 --> 00:42:52.485


The kid ran do you think she really believed that?00:42:52.485 --> 00:42:54.539


She believed it because of this lady.00:42:54.539 --> 00:42:55.179


It's weird.00:42:55.179 --> 00:42:57.164


It's like how are people that susceptible?00:42:57.246 --> 00:43:03.858


and they're like so the dad was not around because he was not allowed to talk and the son wasn't allowed to talk, and so then the kid ran to the neighbor's house.00:43:03.858 --> 00:43:05.648


That's what you can see, the video where the kid goes to the neighbor.00:43:05.648 --> 00:43:06.315


Yeah, he's the one that saved him, right?00:43:06.315 --> 00:43:06.940


Yeah, and then the kid ran to the neighbor's house.00:43:06.922 --> 00:43:07.264


That's what you can see.00:43:07.264 --> 00:43:08.333


The video where the kid goes to the neighbor yeah, he's the one that saved him, right?00:43:08.333 --> 00:43:08.393


Yeah?00:43:08.393 --> 00:43:12.713


And then the dad gets called and the wife Jodi, or whatever her name is, what's her name?00:43:12.713 --> 00:43:19.108


Ruby Ruby calls the husband and is like the kid is telling the police bad things about me.00:43:19.108 --> 00:43:21.242


He's saying I did all these things You've got to go get him.00:43:30.034 --> 00:43:30.637


And he's he feels horrible.00:43:30.637 --> 00:43:31.782


Now he's like I can't believe I fell for all this.00:43:31.782 --> 00:43:34.351


Yeah, my kids were being abused and I left them there and didn't call them because they told me not to call for a year.00:43:34.351 --> 00:43:35.034


So then she goes to jail.00:43:35.034 --> 00:43:42.302


They both plead guilty, her and Hillenbrand, and and I don't know if the kids are back with the dad, but the oldest daughter, who knew what was going on?00:43:42.302 --> 00:43:44.085


She calls him Ruby and his name.00:43:44.085 --> 00:43:50.911


Yeah, like I don't think they have a relationship but like pretty normal family went South all from Instagram and Hill and bread and YouTube.00:43:51.393 --> 00:43:56.085


It's weird Cause I feel I don't like to judge because I don't want, cause you never.00:43:56.184 --> 00:44:04.876


well, I sometimes judge, but um you never know when you try not to judge, yeah, but I try not to, because you never know when something can happen to you.00:44:04.876 --> 00:44:10.552


But I feel pretty confident saying like I would never be susceptible to like following someone like that.00:44:10.552 --> 00:44:11.494


That's so weird.00:44:11.494 --> 00:44:12.860


But there are so many people.00:44:12.860 --> 00:44:15.905


I've always said like I feel like God created.00:44:15.905 --> 00:44:17.318


We're created in God's image.00:44:17.318 --> 00:44:17.559


You know.00:44:17.559 --> 00:44:18.242


God created us.00:44:18.242 --> 00:44:19.164


We're supposed to work.00:44:19.164 --> 00:44:20.280


We're created to worship him.00:44:20.280 --> 00:44:30.782


So I feel like if you're not worshiping him, you're very susceptible to following and worshiping someone else.00:44:30.842 --> 00:44:33.634


And there's so many whacked people out there that people are following and listening to and they're miserable.00:44:33.634 --> 00:44:34.858


Like it's weird.00:44:34.858 --> 00:44:43.657


Like we were talking about Dave Hollis, which I'm sure he's really nice, but he was like a motivational, but then he was like he died of like addiction and yeah.00:44:43.657 --> 00:44:45.302


But I'm saying like people are.00:44:45.302 --> 00:44:52.663


People are making these choices and following this person Based on false pretenses, right, and people are sinful in nature.00:44:52.663 --> 00:44:54.282


Like people make mistakes.00:44:54.282 --> 00:44:55.798


You can't put somebody on a pedestal.00:44:55.798 --> 00:44:57.163


Only God you know.00:44:57.163 --> 00:44:58.164


But it's just weird.00:44:58.346 --> 00:45:04.681


I'm like Well, I agree, I don't think we're ever supposed to put any other idols besides him, but it's crazy.00:45:04.681 --> 00:45:10.740


That's what bothers me about social media and influencers, and that's what we try to not be totally.00:45:10.740 --> 00:45:17.804


We say way too much on here because we're trying to so be without like the guard yeah, we don't have anything figured out, we don't have anything figured out.00:45:17.923 --> 00:45:19.416


we say it, that's our whole intro.00:45:19.416 --> 00:45:20.840


Yeah is like we're.00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:24.878


We're a mess, just like you, and maybe you're not a mess, but we really don't want to.00:45:24.878 --> 00:45:32.934


We want more people to know that all the things that are going through are real Right, because I think more people are like us than like Brooke Rebuild or whatever her name is Right.00:45:32.934 --> 00:45:35.019


I do want the red lipstick, but it would look weird on me.00:45:35.019 --> 00:45:37.626


Yeah, like every day, every day.00:45:37.626 --> 00:45:41.286


So at Disneyland she went to the store to get the red lipstick and I was like, should I go to CVS?00:45:41.286 --> 00:45:43.367


To the phone.00:45:43.608 --> 00:45:43.987


I know.00:45:44.288 --> 00:45:50.992


We're literally brainwashed, even with flights, like we're being brainwashed to be scared of these things and we're being brainwashed to to believe these things.00:45:50.992 --> 00:46:05.338


Like it's crazy what the phones that's what church was about this week was anxiety and how we're anxious because we're on screens and we're listening to everything around us and it's making us anxious and we're not like following peace, which we were going to talk about today.00:46:05.398 --> 00:46:07.021


But we can talk about everything else.00:46:07.021 --> 00:46:07.561


Do we have time?00:46:07.561 --> 00:46:08.641


No, I sent.00:46:08.641 --> 00:46:09.882


I sent on our group chat.00:46:09.882 --> 00:46:13.585


This morning we have a family group chat and I sent this thing that I saw on Instagram.00:46:13.585 --> 00:46:14.726


I like screenshot it.00:46:14.726 --> 00:46:17.889


It was like you wouldn't watch a movie of someone sitting there on their phone all day.00:46:17.889 --> 00:46:20.311


So like, don't have that be your life.00:46:33.054 --> 00:46:34.112


Go out there and be like the main character, like go live.00:46:34.112 --> 00:46:35.123


It was like cute the way it was worded, like no one's watching a movie of me gambling.00:46:35.123 --> 00:46:36.456


Yes, yeah, so get off and go live, you know, and be a main character in your own life.00:46:36.456 --> 00:46:37.661


Well, that's what kyle was like elbowing me, usually at church I'm elbowing him, yeah.00:46:37.661 --> 00:46:38.155


And this week it was like you're on screens.00:46:38.155 --> 00:46:51.802


It like walked through people's days, right, like how everyone wakes up and then they check their screens and then the news tells us all these things are wrong with the world and you start your day like that and then, you're yelling at your kids and you send them off, then you go to work and get yelled at by bad leaders that aren't positive.00:46:52.317 --> 00:47:09.528


And then you go home and then you're on your screens and you're cooking dinner and then you get in bed and then you want to be alone Because that's like one of my big things is instead of choosing peace and choosing to, and he's like your kids don't need social media.00:47:09.528 --> 00:47:10.530


You don't need social media.00:47:10.530 --> 00:47:12.318


You don't need to be slave to those things.00:47:12.559 --> 00:47:20.195


Yeah, I saw it said like something we missed it because we had a baseball tournament and then we had the cheer competition, so we missed this weekend, but we're gonna watch it.00:47:20.195 --> 00:47:31.590


But I saw like a recap on Instagram and it said something yeah, like we're so obsessed with like being successful on social media and getting the likes and all that, that there's no peace, no peace.00:47:31.590 --> 00:47:34.503


And it's like it's really sad for our kids.00:47:34.855 --> 00:47:37.483


I think all of us have a lot of pressure.00:47:37.483 --> 00:47:40.561


Yeah, like I just talked about, I had all this pressure on me as a leader.00:47:40.561 --> 00:47:45.519


Pressure, you know, because I see other teams or other realtors doing this and that and I feel like I should do that Right.00:47:45.519 --> 00:47:49.244


And it's like our kids are in that, you know, because they are on social media.00:47:49.244 --> 00:47:50.184


They see all these things.00:47:50.184 --> 00:47:55.710


We drove around to go get this stupid Dubai chocolate yesterday from Zupas.00:47:55.809 --> 00:47:57.452


Oh, the Zupas Because it's trending on TikTok.00:47:58.434 --> 00:47:59.577


But I don't know.00:47:59.577 --> 00:48:00.498


I think all that's fine.00:48:00.498 --> 00:48:17.179


I don't think I'm not at a place where I'm going to take my kids off of social media yet, but I do think I keep them, try to keep them pretty busy so they don't have a lot of time to be on it, but I don't know if that's right either, um, but I think peace and like slowing down and not.00:48:17.199 --> 00:48:26.847


I think the biggest thing is I see a lot of influencers and we see a lot of people in our lives, too that look perfect on Instagram and then you get to know them in person and you're like Whoa, what I was seeing and what's happening is so different.00:48:26.847 --> 00:48:30.110


Not always bad too, it's just different than what it's perceived.00:48:30.110 --> 00:48:38.456


But I'll see couples on there that look like the happiest couples in the world and the next week they moved out and it's like you don't understand the story, right, like what happened.00:48:38.456 --> 00:48:39.579


How did you go from a to b?00:48:39.579 --> 00:48:39.860


Right?00:48:39.880 --> 00:48:40.963


because they weren't posting that.00:48:40.963 --> 00:48:42.876


It was like yeah, it's getting bad.00:48:42.876 --> 00:48:44.298


You know how would you post that, though?00:48:44.498 --> 00:48:48.264


like I can't stand my husband today yeah and I do think that's normal.00:48:48.264 --> 00:48:53.199


Like again, that's something that people don't talk about is like you're not going to feel good about yourself every day.00:48:53.199 --> 00:49:00.273


We talked about that last week, the struggles of trying to be healthy and fit and and do right, but you're not going to love your husband.00:49:00.273 --> 00:49:02.297


You love your husband every day, but you don't like him all the time.00:49:02.297 --> 00:49:03.378


Yeah, that's normal.00:49:03.498 --> 00:49:09.887


I don't like myself all the time, right, right, I like you most of the time, though that's weird, I know it's a little bit different.00:49:09.887 --> 00:49:15.784


But like even your kids, I know You'll feel like a good mom one day and you'll feel like the worst mom the next day.00:49:15.784 --> 00:49:18.043


And I'll feel like a good realtor and then I'll feel like the worst realtor.00:49:18.043 --> 00:49:31.313


Then I'll feel like I'll be good with money.00:49:31.313 --> 00:49:32.461


Then, all of a sudden, I put something on the credit card and I'm out of control again.00:49:32.409 --> 00:49:34.277


I think it's just like giving each other grace to be more honest about these things.00:49:34.277 --> 00:49:35.708


That's what I love about our friendship is it's always the truth.00:49:35.708 --> 00:49:43.184


Yeah, and I think a lot of people don't maybe have real people in their life that tell them you know, I was yelling at my kids all night and I feel bad, yeah.00:49:43.184 --> 00:49:46.126


So then they feel like okay, yeah, so then they feel like okay, I've done that too.00:49:46.126 --> 00:49:47.947


You know that's what we're trying to be here, jerking around.00:49:47.947 --> 00:49:50.128


Yeah, so we'll be your friend, me too, our own, me too.00:49:50.128 --> 00:49:54.251


Movement, yeah, yeah, I yell too that's crazy, though, about Ruby Frank.00:49:54.431 --> 00:49:58.820


I just cannot believe that someone actually let someone like move in and do all that.00:49:58.900 --> 00:50:02.333


It's so crazy it's so crazy and the dad is like a good man.00:50:02.333 --> 00:50:03.235


They were a good family.00:50:03.235 --> 00:50:09.969


But I think it's like another testament to like be careful what you let in your life, in all areas oh, you have to be so protective.00:50:10.048 --> 00:50:10.909


I'm very protective.00:50:10.909 --> 00:50:13.695


I feel like of my you know I could be better.00:50:14.356 --> 00:50:19.956


You've gotten better yeah, everybody, I'm like I love you no, it's great, though it's good to be loving no.00:50:19.956 --> 00:50:22.501


I can be more loving we could be we help each other.00:50:22.541 --> 00:50:28.001


Be more the other way, yeah, but no, I do think you have to be protective of what?00:50:28.001 --> 00:50:30.847


Because you just, and even what you're doing, you know.00:50:31.235 --> 00:50:34.204


Well, with 75 Hard, I took out a lot of things in my life.00:50:34.204 --> 00:50:37.280


Like I stopped watching reality TV, I was careful what I listened to.00:50:37.280 --> 00:50:39.521


We don't realize what we're putting in our bodies.00:50:39.541 --> 00:50:41.519


Yeah, just like Garbage in, garbage out.00:50:41.519 --> 00:50:41.942


Yeah.00:50:42.255 --> 00:50:43.097


Like all those things.00:50:43.097 --> 00:50:47.753


But I things, but I haven't gotten off social media yet, I don't really watch it that much.00:50:47.753 --> 00:50:52.387


But I do do other weird things like play casino games on my phone yeah, that's fine.00:50:52.387 --> 00:50:53.552


I don't know if it's fine.00:50:53.552 --> 00:50:56.041


Anyways, we'll see you next week, guys, have a good week.00:50:56.041 --> 00:50:56.724


Have a good week.00:50:56.724 --> 00:51:04.876


Welcome to jerking around a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and crystal makes fun of me and it's.00:51:04.876 --> 00:51:05.916


And it's great and it's real.