S3 E10: LA Fires, Conspiracy Theories, and Insurance Mysteries

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Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and Crystal makes fun of me the whole time and it's great and it's real.

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Welcome to Jerking Around, welcome, oh my goodness.

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No we already said that last week, I know, but there was another one.

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We gotta move on.

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We're live, don't show your tanning hand.

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Oh, yeah, it's so orange.

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Yeah, he's just spray tanned.

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Yeah.

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And she got a new sweatshirt for today and she did this toner to her hair.

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That looks amazing.

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The at home.

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She's really doing it today.

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I know, new year, new you.

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I know I actually like doing my hair at home better.

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I don't I.

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It's like a whole production to go.

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It was nice just in the shower.

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It's done you know yeah, totally.

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So, I think it's great.

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Yeah, all right, there's so much to talk about, so much, so obviously we got to make this episode go quicker, but the LA fires is a big trending topic right now, right it's crazy.

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Everyone knows what it is, but if they didn't, if they live under a rock, la is on fire.

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Yeah, yeah, you're right, la was on fire, not just LA, the Palisades, la Calabasas.

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All over different areas, jay-z and Beyonce's house Seven different different areas jay-z and beyonce's house was like seven different is being evacuated.

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No, that might have been fake.

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Yeah, that's what's hard now with ai.

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I don't know if everything's as real I mean, whoever knows if it's ever real, right but I do think the fires weren't natural no, they said it was arson.

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Yeah, yeah but I feel like we don't really know the truth and a lot going on with the governor and the fire chief and oh my goodness.

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And they're blaming that immigrant.

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They caught him with the can like and they're like he's an immigrant derogatory no, I'm saying he like he immigrated here.

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That's what they're saying.

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Yeah, I'm not trying to be derogatory.

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I'm saying he's non.

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He immigrated here.

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What's a better word?

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but I don't know yeah, it's fine illegal, that sounds worse, just moving on, yeah, yeah.

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So why are they saying that?

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that's what I'm saying.

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Oh, just one guy.

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There's like 50 of them right, there's so many videos.

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I'm saying they're saying that he, why do you think they're doing the fires?

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Well, I mean, I don't know.

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They're saying that.

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They meaning Instagram, our source of news that LA is one of the cities that wants to become a smart city, which is like, basically, they're saying that they meaning Instagram, our source of news that LA is one of the cities that wants to become a smart city, which is like basically redoing the whole infrastructure.

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So there's no quicker way to get rid of it, like demolishing all that stuff.

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It's just like if they just burn it down, it might be easier to rebuild, because the Olympics is going to be here in a few years oh, really, yeah, in four years.

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So they're saying In LA, yes, and so they're saying there was no room for it, and so allegedly so.

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Would the governor have something to do with that then?

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Yes, because he brings the so they're saying allegedly there was no room for the Olympics, so they wanted a smart city, so they burned it, that's the.

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This is off topic, but are we going to go to Chino today?

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Oh my gosh, please.

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I don't know.

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I'm trying not to eat bad, all right, I just like off the rails for Christmas, you know?

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Yeah, it just sounds so good, I know.

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Okay, so who knows that's what is the word on the street?

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Okay, my sources.

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My next question is do you think what tell me about the insurance?

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Cause what I heard about the insurance because what I heard about the insurance and what you told me were different I feel like yours is more what did you hear about how they canceled?

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I thought it was just so wrong that they canceled all those insurance policies, but you said there was a reason or something yes, so the policies put in place by the government was that they couldn't raise the rates to cover future potential risk.

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So the insurance companies would have lost money if they provided coverage, because they had to do it based off of, like old assessed risk and not future risk.

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Why couldn't they raise the rates?

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Because the government said they couldn't, but we got our rates raised On this particular fire.

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Yes, prior to couldn't.

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So, but we got our rates raised On this particular fire, yes, prior to the fire, right, so they dropped fire.

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They didn't drop every insurance, they dropped fire, but that's not weird.

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So weird.

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Yeah, that's so weird.

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But again, this is what's being said, so who knows if it's true Exactly Alleged, allegedly.

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Alleged, alleged, alleged, alleged.

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We got taken off of TikTok in a few hours last night, so we're really in big trouble.

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My question, though, is do all those people lose everything?

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Then?

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Spencer Pratt is really upset.

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Did you see?

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Heidi has a number one song.

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Heidi's streaming.

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I know I didn't do it, but I'm gonna do it.

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You know, support Heidi, stream it.

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Yeah, oh yeah, I'll pay for it.

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And he.

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He's like real mad.

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People are giving Mandy Moore money and not him Really.

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Yeah, Mandy Moore supposedly has a GoFundMe and Spencer's like.

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I'm getting For herself.

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I think so, oh yeah.

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So Spencer's real mad.

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He wants a GoFundMe.

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Yeah, oh good.

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Is this the info?

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Oh, thank you.

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Biden announces a one-time $770 payment for California wildfire victim.

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Yeah, and that's what people were saying that's not even going to buy you, like groceries in California it's such a weird number too.

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Why not a thousand dollars, right?

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That's it.

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Oh my gosh, thank you, that's crazy, I know.

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Yeah, well, like Spencer, did he have insurance?

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I don't know, I don't know.

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It's really sad, sad.

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If you think about losing everything, I feel bad for all, all of them, like everything, like all the stuff that you can't buy again well, we live by like a field of desert and I was thinking like if it caught fire like our house would go and I was you're gonna start worrying about this.

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I was worrying about it as I'm all as phoenix on on list to be a smart city, we are.

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So I was like Ooh, I know, but some people have nowhere to go and if you have no savings, I could live with you, thankfully, but we're close.

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I think if you're going, you're a fire.

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My house is going to, totally, I know, but like it is important.

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I'm in a save money um time of my life, just starting it, though I haven saved much yet.

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Great though, but I'm really trying to not spend.

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We talked about it last week.

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It was so stupid in one day, like you don't realize, like a Starbucks here and a and a go to canes there, and it's $50.

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So I keep wondering why I feel like I'm not saving money, and now I'm starting to see the problem.

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So I've been listening to Dave Ramsey a lot too, which does change your like.

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Think you when they say, like hang out with smart people, it'll make you smarter, or like successful people, it'll make you better?

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I do feel like listening, not that I always agree with everything, but it does change my mindset.

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I'm like, okay, do I need this, do I need that?

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But it is crazy, though, when you comes to these things, if you don't have savings, how do you live?

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Do you put the hotel on the credit card and go broke when you're already in such a dire situation.

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It's like so sad when waiting for the payouts which I did read something that they have to approve like an instant kind of thing.

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Yeah, they need something and the hotels are being like overrun.

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It's just really sad.

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It's awful.

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The fires is a big thing.

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I kind of feel like now, when we talk, I picture the clips and I'm so nervous about them.

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Is that why you were being so weird?

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Oh, it's awful, yeah, but I'm kind of like you messed with the wrong people this time.

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That's kind of like you might, you know, like the people, those houses who lost their houses.

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They have money and like I feel like this one isn't going to be brushed over as easily, like the people in North Carolina, from the people already forgot about the hurricane.

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It's awful, and now they're like in the freezing temperatures, homeless.

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It's horrible.

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But, yeah, I do feel like, yeah, what's happening with those people?

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Right, well, they're facing like record breaking freezing temperatures with no homes, and so it's crazy because now the focus is on the fires and at least with the celebrity coverage, I feel like it won't kind of just go away, although Maui it's like people moved on.

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I know Maui is sad.

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Everyone's moved on.

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It's horrible.

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Well, they were saying how long it's taking to rebuild.

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But then in Florida, this is again an Instagram.

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They remember those storms years ago, the?

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Then in Florida, this is again an Instagram.

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Um, they, they remember those storms years ago, the hurricanes in Florida, I guess one of the main bridges came down and he had it rebuilt like within a really quick amount of time.

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I'm probably wrong, but like a month.

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Right, it was crazy.

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I was like wow, yeah, but like when you really put your resources towards it, it can change really quickly.

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Yeah, I think it just depends what they want to do more on our trending topics or topics that piss some of you off.

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Um, did you guys hear about our jerky?

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You guys Cause he shouldn't listen.

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But I've been really listening to Joe Rogan lately and he's such a good interviewer.

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Like there's some people that have it and some that don't.

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I think that's part of call her daddy, I want to be on Joe Rogan one day.

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Oh it's.

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He's so entertaining, he's so interesting to me.

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Um, and I think call her daddy, that's her thing.

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She's a very good interviewer.

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She has like the good, yeah, and like Oprah is a good interviewer, like she asks what you're thinking.

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So I feel like Joe Rogan's a really good interviewer, but they were talking about how much Facebook was censored during COVID and it's mind blowing the things he's saying.

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I'm not going to quote it because I typically get things wrong when I quote him, because I have some issues, but if you guys are curious, I would listen to the Joe Rogan, mark Zuckerberg, as well as Joe Logan and Elon Musk.

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I'm still thinking about the robot, though.

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Last week, tisha and I Jet was here we cried about the robot for like I thought about it like three days later, me too.

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I can't get over it.

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And I'm still thinking about the robot.

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It's so funny.

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It's crazy that all the AI stuff out there though it's almost like scary, like how there was like a video Almost it's fully scary Of a robot being arrested at an airport and it was like beating the guy up and I was like how are you going to arrest a robot?

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And it's just like crazy Cause my car is so smart.

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I know the Tesla, I recently got a Tesla and I didn't really care about Tesla.

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But have you ever met people that are like pro Tesla, like my uncle is like, yeah, I'm one of them now, but like my uncle is like that?

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He's like, aren't you Like it's like some people that my brother is like a pro Tesla?

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Yeah, it's like once you drink the Kool-Aid, you're it's like Apple Once you have an.

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Apple phone.

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Once you have an iPhone, you're not not having Apple.

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You can't not have Apple Like I couldn't go get like a.

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Dell computer no, and I liked the Dell.

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I was anti Mac years ago.

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No, the, the Tesla is so smart.

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So now I'm like I kind of trust the robots, but it's just scary, they have so much power.

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And then the chip.

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Did you see three people have been chipped already in the brain?

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No, yeah, to see like what it does.

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But why would you want?

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to do that, I know.

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But like if, if I'm not smart from AI, so I'm not going to get chipped, then I'm just the only like you know.

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Yeah, for sure, I already feel like that sometimes, and so now I'm going to be like that, like it's.

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It's hard.

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I mean I'm so scared of the mark of the beast that I won't do it.

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But how do you not Like, if your brain's that smart, it's crazy.

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I think there's a line you can't go past the line of like joining man and robot.

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It's just not what God like.

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I know.

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But if you think about it like when we first put in, like I know, but if you think about it like when we first put in, like my dad had a defibrillator, it like beats his heart and it zaps him yeah, so it's like the frog effect right, like slowly, we're doing these small things where we're putting medical devices in our body and we're trusting them and I think if we're not careful right, years later, our whole body is we are the robot.

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Yeah, it's careful.

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Right years later, our whole body is we are the robot.

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Yeah, it's crazy creepy.

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What would you miss most about your body if you were a robot?

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wait, like if I had to pick pick a replacement no, probably someone um I get like hard abs.

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You know robot abs.

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Let's flop those out.

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You know it's fine robot boobs.

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Would they be soft the nipples all like spraying.

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My boobs are so small, but would you want robot boobs?

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They're like robot boobs right now.

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No, but like, would they spray, like milk?

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No, you know, would we all be drinking robot milk?

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There's no robot milk.

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The robots are crazy, though.

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Would you buy one?

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No See, I think I would.

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I feel like you would too.

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I kind of want one.

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I know, like if it would cook clean and like if I win the lottery, I'll buy you a robot.

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I want the robot really bad.

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Yeah, kim, did you see?

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It's like while the fires are happening and people are evacuating.

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I saw her playing outside with the robot.

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I know like we're not really famous, so I don't feel like we need to address it before, but it like was going.

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Like it was going on, because you know how things post for days, so then people were seeing it when the fires were watching.

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My mom likes to watch the old kardashian episodes and they were so good.

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I know cute.

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It's sad they were such a cute.

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Family was a guy.

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Yeah, they look so different.

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I loved bruce.

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I I know he was like Normal.

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Yeah, it's weird and like a dad, it's like sad.

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Now he's not even like a dad.

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I don't want to talk about so much celebrity trending topics, but I have to talk about the P Diddy documentary on Prime.

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I think it's on Amazon.

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I could be wrong.

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Kyle told me Kyle's listening.

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My husband.

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He's finally back.

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He was our number one jerky and then he went away.

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Yeah, he got offended because I talked bad about him once.

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Yeah, he did.

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He got real mad.

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He wouldn't listen.

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Well, ben could never listen.

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He'd be like but now he's like back and he's like um, I forgot my point the jerkeys.

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No, you were saying Kyle the conspiracies I forgot Dang it.

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I hate that.

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Oh P Diddy, oh yeah, oh, he got mad because I got it it.

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I hate that.

00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:26.886
Oh P Diddy, oh yeah, oh, he got mad because I got it wrong.

00:13:26.886 --> 00:13:32.371
I said a few weeks ago Jason Kelsey with Taylor Swift and I get stuff wrong all the time.

00:13:32.371 --> 00:13:35.227
It's who I am, but when we're talking I didn't even think about it.

00:13:35.227 --> 00:13:40.691
But when I'm listening I'm so annoyed every time I hear that one that I said it wrong on the internet.

00:13:40.791 --> 00:13:42.413
It's yeah, totally look like an idiot.

00:13:42.413 --> 00:13:48.211
Yeah, but anyways, pdd documentary I don't know which one it was on, it wasn't on netflix, I know that.

00:13:48.211 --> 00:13:51.381
Um, I don't think, but it's really interesting.

00:13:51.381 --> 00:13:55.692
The dynamic you guys should listen the dynamic between him and tupac.

00:13:55.692 --> 00:14:04.331
It's crazy like remember back when we were young, the rap was like serious because it was like bloods and crips.

00:14:04.331 --> 00:14:05.740
Yeah, remember it was like.

00:14:05.740 --> 00:14:07.885
Remember bone thug against harmony, people were getting shot.

00:14:08.947 --> 00:14:14.070
Yes, it was like you gotta watch, though it's like he's in the center of all of it really.

00:14:14.070 --> 00:14:17.902
Yes, like knowingly, like there was a shootout with him there.

00:14:17.902 --> 00:14:23.113
He got arrested and then his, his um, one of his close people, took the hit for it.

00:14:23.113 --> 00:14:24.129
Like he went to jail for it.

00:14:24.129 --> 00:14:25.399
Yeah, it's crazy.

00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:32.102
And then it talks about so many things, but it's like a documentary on on a public channel, so it's not like all of it's.

00:14:32.102 --> 00:14:34.269
There's gotta be data to prove.

00:14:34.269 --> 00:14:42.671
So then it talks about how he got into Hollywood and how he started, you know, and with younger um ladies.

00:14:42.671 --> 00:14:50.490
No, like I mean, I think in the documentary it talks about Justin Bieber having, how he had custody of him for 48 hours.

00:14:50.490 --> 00:14:52.206
That's still so mind-blowing.

00:14:52.206 --> 00:14:53.583
Why would anyone give some?

00:14:53.583 --> 00:14:55.951
I would never give anyone custody of my kids for 48 hours.

00:14:55.951 --> 00:14:57.504
Why do you need custody?

00:14:57.504 --> 00:14:59.106
Why can't he just go hang out for 48 hours?

00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:02.421
Or like four hours, and he had.

00:15:02.520 --> 00:15:04.485
Usher, since he was like 11.

00:15:04.485 --> 00:15:13.181
Yeah, and Usher said the things he saw orgies and stuff.

00:15:13.181 --> 00:15:13.783
Yeah, I keep thinking so.

00:15:13.783 --> 00:15:15.610
We love doing the podcast, but now that we're getting feedback it messes with us so much.

00:15:15.610 --> 00:15:15.951
Oh, it's horrible.

00:15:15.951 --> 00:15:21.283
So someone in my life was like I heard your podcast is raunchy and dirty and it talks about sex.

00:15:21.702 --> 00:15:22.083
And orgies.

00:15:22.083 --> 00:15:23.524
You're talking about orgies?

00:15:23.745 --> 00:15:30.831
Yeah, and so we're still going to talk about that stuff, though Tisha has a big experience she wants to share about this weekend no.

00:15:30.831 --> 00:15:33.514
I don't, and letting Ben go downstairs.

00:15:33.833 --> 00:15:34.653
No, I didn't.

00:15:35.075 --> 00:15:36.395
Yeah, well, you need to start.

00:15:36.395 --> 00:15:38.037
I know that's what this is about today.

00:15:39.539 --> 00:15:42.405
Jet and I talked and we're having an intervention.

00:15:42.426 --> 00:15:43.749
Yeah, chet's real worried about my.

00:15:43.749 --> 00:15:44.671
He is, but watch the Documentary.

00:15:44.671 --> 00:15:50.879
I think there's two more things I want to talk about Kristen Cavallari talking about Morgan Wallen being her F buddy Interesting.

00:15:50.879 --> 00:16:02.447
I know I, as a mom of Two girls, don't want to tell anyone about my F buddy, but maybe some of my podcast, my mother-in-law's like some of those Stories you're not going to want out there because your kids Are going to listen.

00:16:02.548 --> 00:16:06.567
I don't disagree Because I worry about the stories, you know.

00:16:06.567 --> 00:16:12.217
I mean, I'm not talking about an F buddy, but some stories I'm like oh, you're way more tame about your past stories than I am.

00:16:12.278 --> 00:16:13.020
I tell all of it.

00:16:13.702 --> 00:16:13.842
I'm.

00:16:13.842 --> 00:16:15.767
I don't have a lot of past stories.

00:16:16.368 --> 00:16:17.129
This is liar.

00:16:17.129 --> 00:16:19.541
Let's be honest, you have just as many.

00:16:19.561 --> 00:16:21.263
You're just not telling it was weirdly proud of having an F buddy.

00:16:21.263 --> 00:16:25.769
It was weirdly proud of having an F buddy, yeah.

00:16:25.808 --> 00:16:26.169
I agree.

00:16:26.330 --> 00:16:33.719
And I was like oh it just is like yeah, I feel like it's just kind of getting around, you know, but she's fine with it.

00:16:33.719 --> 00:16:42.567
Yeah she said that she's dating someone new well, she said a non-negotiable is they have to have a vasectomy because she doesn't want to have to use a what?

00:16:42.567 --> 00:16:46.504
Yeah, it's just a lot of information we're on a clip.

00:16:46.543 --> 00:16:48.268
You saw that, yeah.

00:16:48.268 --> 00:16:48.969
Yeah, I don't know.

00:16:48.969 --> 00:16:51.774
Did you hear she like messaged kevin costner?

00:16:51.774 --> 00:16:54.404
Did you see someone else?

00:16:54.404 --> 00:16:57.971
No, someone older is with someone young and I was like that's kind of adorable.

00:16:57.971 --> 00:17:00.461
Who Was it?

00:17:00.461 --> 00:17:01.402
Kevin Costner?

00:17:01.402 --> 00:17:03.184
No, it was someone like even better.

00:17:03.184 --> 00:17:04.627
I got to find it it was really interesting.

00:17:04.627 --> 00:17:05.568
Interesting.

00:17:05.568 --> 00:17:06.810
Okay, the last thing I want to talk about.

00:17:06.810 --> 00:17:08.934
I don't really care about this as much, but you're really into the drones?

00:17:13.943 --> 00:17:15.846
You've been wanting to talk about for we go.

00:17:15.866 --> 00:17:17.327
We can't make this a clip we just.

00:17:17.568 --> 00:17:20.392
this is just for the jerkies that aren't going to sue me.

00:17:20.792 --> 00:17:21.913
Okay, allegedly.

00:17:22.173 --> 00:17:23.375
Allegedly so.

00:17:23.375 --> 00:17:24.501
The drones, so Trump?

00:17:24.501 --> 00:17:26.970
Everyone's been seeing these drones all over.

00:17:26.970 --> 00:17:28.526
They're in all these cities.

00:17:28.526 --> 00:17:30.969
There's all these clips of people on airplanes taking pictures.

00:17:30.969 --> 00:17:33.326
Who knows if it's real, but allegedly.

00:17:33.428 --> 00:17:34.609
It's a lot, though, there lot, though.

00:17:34.650 --> 00:17:36.971
There's a lot and it's even now on like the New York post.

00:17:36.971 --> 00:17:38.471
It's on all these things.

00:17:38.471 --> 00:17:42.253
Well, trump, no one's addressing it and it is weird.

00:17:42.253 --> 00:17:43.974
Why is no one addressing the UFOs?

00:17:43.974 --> 00:17:45.576
It's like what's going on?

00:17:45.576 --> 00:17:49.817
And now, because I've seen so many, my Instagram feed is full of UFOs.

00:17:49.817 --> 00:17:52.865
It's like take me to your leader, like it's so UFO.

00:17:52.865 --> 00:17:56.631
But Trump said when he gets an office, he's going to address the drones.

00:17:56.631 --> 00:17:57.972
So I'm interested to see what he says.

00:17:57.972 --> 00:18:04.388
I don't think he's going to tell the truth and I don't want to say what I think the truth is, because I feel like it might be a little like she's Doomsday.

00:18:04.710 --> 00:18:05.672
Crazy or crazy?

00:18:05.672 --> 00:18:08.685
Yeah, I feel like people, but my brother's thought I'm crazy many times.

00:18:08.685 --> 00:18:10.101
He's like when around the election.

00:18:10.101 --> 00:18:16.163
Yeah, he can never hear this about all the things that you're talking about, the things that now are coming out.

00:18:16.203 --> 00:18:16.644
That are true.

00:18:16.644 --> 00:18:18.444
Yes, I know.

00:18:18.444 --> 00:18:19.326
Yeah, mark Zuckerberg.

00:18:19.326 --> 00:18:21.366
It's like hello Duh, it was censored.

00:18:21.366 --> 00:18:22.607
No one didn't think it was censored.

00:18:22.887 --> 00:18:23.948
People didn't think it was censored.

00:18:23.948 --> 00:18:26.690
I know people in our life that did not think it was censored.

00:18:26.710 --> 00:18:32.772
But they probably still don't think, even though he's fully saying it, you know.

00:18:32.952 --> 00:18:42.238
He's is like, if I'm going to disagree with someone and they tell me to go here, I would go there just for the sake of like a good discussion, right.

00:18:42.238 --> 00:18:51.067
But, like some people, I feel like it's like go listen to the podcast out of Mark Zuckerberg's mouth, right, and then tell me what you think, and they'll be like, yeah, I'm not going to listen.

00:18:51.067 --> 00:19:03.661
It's like a learned naiveness Like they're fine with it, they're fine with what they believe it.

00:19:03.661 --> 00:19:04.500
Naiveness like they're fine with it, they're fine with what they believe it's being wrong.

00:19:04.500 --> 00:19:04.840
Though I love to like learn.

00:19:04.840 --> 00:19:04.900
Yeah, me too.

00:19:04.900 --> 00:19:05.560
Like I would want to learn both sides.

00:19:05.560 --> 00:19:09.523
Yeah, I've, I've changed a lot on certain things because I've listened to the other side, or I like was like yeah, you're right, that does make sense, right, you know?

00:19:09.523 --> 00:19:11.871
Yeah, I don't know it's interesting.

00:19:12.332 --> 00:19:17.229
It's interesting, but yeah, I do want to know about the drones, because should I say, or is it too weird?

00:19:17.569 --> 00:19:20.307
I think you'll regret it if it's public and I don't want to keep editing.

00:19:20.307 --> 00:19:22.538
You're making me edit so much, so don't say it.

00:19:22.538 --> 00:19:25.589
If, five hours later, you're going to call me and tell me, take it out, okay, I won't.

00:19:25.589 --> 00:19:28.244
So let's save that for later, when you're more comfortable and we get less hate.

00:19:28.244 --> 00:19:30.130
Okay, the hate has subsided.

00:19:30.190 --> 00:19:38.191
I feel like it can't be a clip, but like it could be on the podcast, maybe in a few weeks yeah, okay, let's talk about real life now.

00:19:38.211 --> 00:19:43.143
Okay, I listen a lot and I actually the podcast about my dad and Thanksgiving was a good one.

00:19:43.143 --> 00:19:46.770
Daddy's dads again was one of my favorites.

00:19:46.770 --> 00:19:49.304
If you haven't listened, listen to dads again.

00:19:49.304 --> 00:19:50.887
It's such a funny episode.

00:19:50.887 --> 00:19:52.941
But the last one was actually really good too.

00:19:52.941 --> 00:20:02.369
I think sometimes we try to talk about trending topics because I know sometimes I want to like talk about it with my girlfriend, yeah, and so we try to be your girlfriends that you can talk to us about.

00:20:02.369 --> 00:20:06.270
But let's talk about real life Church this weekend and we talk about conspiracies a lot and those are real life.

00:20:06.500 --> 00:20:10.365
We talk about this stuff every day, but we're not a conspiracy podcast, so that's where it kind of dances.

00:20:10.365 --> 00:20:12.270
You know, we can be whatever you want.

00:20:13.141 --> 00:20:17.047
Yeah, I was going to start a conspiracy podcast with my dad because he's like the OG.

00:20:17.047 --> 00:20:33.773
And I told him like years ago, like after COVID, I was like because he's so smart, he's the smartest person I've ever met my biological dad I have two dads but he I was like we should do a podcast of and you just like tell people what you know.

00:20:33.773 --> 00:20:35.505
And then I was like we're going to get killed.

00:20:35.505 --> 00:20:36.488
So we never did.

00:20:36.909 --> 00:20:39.107
And here we are, yeah, yeah, feeling good.

00:20:39.309 --> 00:20:40.335
Yeah, tell us about it.

00:20:40.335 --> 00:20:41.362
We should have him on one time, can you?

00:20:41.422 --> 00:20:45.726
explain that you have two dads, though A little bit, yeah, because people might wonder if they were together dads again.

00:20:45.946 --> 00:20:46.709
Yeah, dads again.

00:20:46.809 --> 00:20:49.240
Yeah, so explain a little bit about that so.

00:20:49.760 --> 00:20:54.782
I have a biological and then they.

00:20:54.823 --> 00:20:55.584
He was with your mom.

00:20:55.723 --> 00:20:56.384
He was with my mom.

00:20:56.384 --> 00:21:02.567
They got divorced when I was super young, and then she met my stepdad when I was two, and then he raised me too.

00:21:02.567 --> 00:21:04.647
So I have had two dads since I was two.

00:21:04.907 --> 00:21:05.847
I love it, by the way.

00:21:05.847 --> 00:21:15.551
Yeah, I think that's a topic that people, especially in what's it called Multifamily yeah, like when you get remarried I love like they're totally equal to you.

00:21:15.551 --> 00:21:18.834
Yeah, and it's so different which one walked you down the aisle, or how'd you do that?

00:21:19.294 --> 00:21:20.334
They both did on each side.

00:21:20.334 --> 00:21:43.386
Yeah, See, I love that Because I think sometimes, like I have, I am around a lot of young girls these days and I get to hear different stories about family dynamics, Right, and I do think that's a topic that comes up is, you know, if they are parents are separated and they're remarried and there's tension between those two families, it's really hard for kids, you know, if they love both, they don't want to hurt one's feelings, so I love that.

00:21:43.386 --> 00:21:47.001
I don't feel like you're you're biological dad's threatened by no.

00:21:47.343 --> 00:21:48.546
I don't think they've either.

00:21:48.546 --> 00:21:52.059
They respect and maybe inside they have feelings towards each other.

00:21:52.059 --> 00:21:58.488
I'm sure there are feelings of whatever, but they've never put them on me or like talked bad about each other.

00:21:58.488 --> 00:22:03.713
Yeah so, but I feel like that has taught me for my like today.

00:22:03.713 --> 00:22:07.944
Cj posted the mom thing I loved it and he put both of us and like.

00:22:08.226 --> 00:22:09.068
You're not threatened by that.

00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:11.086
No, we are both his moms, it's not.

00:22:11.086 --> 00:22:12.210
Yeah, I love that.

00:22:12.210 --> 00:22:15.365
There's no competition, we're just different you know?

00:22:15.465 --> 00:22:16.008
Yeah, you're right.

00:22:16.008 --> 00:22:23.320
Isn't that weird?

00:22:23.320 --> 00:22:23.741
How god does that?

00:22:23.741 --> 00:22:26.810
Like you went through this, through it and then you understand it way more than anyone else would.

00:22:26.810 --> 00:22:27.874
Totally, that's so crazy, I know.

00:22:27.874 --> 00:22:28.516
Not knowing that you would.

00:22:28.516 --> 00:22:29.137
Yeah, yeah, I do, I saw that.

00:22:29.137 --> 00:22:29.799
I think tj cj is the best.

00:22:29.799 --> 00:22:30.403
That was cute.

00:22:30.502 --> 00:22:36.104
I know he's so cute none of my other kids they're like I think it's cool, though, to appreciate that someone else loves your kids so much.

00:22:36.104 --> 00:22:38.948
Totally, you know what I what I mean and like is there for your kid.

00:22:38.948 --> 00:22:43.194
But I know in in friends of mine that are divorced there's tensions there.

00:22:43.194 --> 00:22:44.082
It's hard, yeah.

00:22:44.082 --> 00:22:45.065
So I think it's super cool for you.

00:22:45.065 --> 00:22:54.288
Okay, moving on church this week Tisha didn't go cause she's not been going, but no, I think actually you've been going more, I have not been going.

00:22:54.468 --> 00:23:14.382
We did make a thing for 2025, but it didn't start strong no, no, I'm all maybe what's devotional and it's been going really great, good, so I feel like I am starting the year stronger.

00:23:14.382 --> 00:23:18.189
Yes, yes, but I do need to go there, yeah, I.

00:23:18.430 --> 00:23:36.487
So Kyle and I, we have been not great about it, um, about getting to church with sports and stuff, which is the lamest excuse, but at CCV, our church that we both go to um, they did talk about new year try to make it three out of four weeks, which I love because I you know me new year all the goals are happening, goals galore.

00:23:36.487 --> 00:23:37.990
Yeah, we're goal city right now.

00:23:37.990 --> 00:23:41.382
Yeah, um, but we've been watching a lot.

00:23:41.382 --> 00:23:50.201
If we don't make it, which I actually like, and sometimes it'll be, I think around the holidays there was some songs and things and I was emotional about my dad and everything.

00:23:50.201 --> 00:23:56.284
Yeah, that works for me well, because I think sometimes you know if you go you're going to be emotional and at home I'm not as embarrassed.

00:23:56.284 --> 00:24:00.388
In church it's awkward when you're doing that, I'm not crying yeah yeah and um.

00:24:01.451 --> 00:24:04.494
This week was so good and they paid my best song battle belongs.

00:24:04.494 --> 00:24:05.642
It was to start.

00:24:05.642 --> 00:24:09.954
And there's something so emotional about actually going to church.

00:24:09.954 --> 00:24:11.138
Like I don't think.

00:24:11.138 --> 00:24:19.791
I think I get the same out of the message I sing at home just like I'm worshiping, right, but when you walk in the building I don't know it's yeah, you forget like how good that is.

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:21.446
And there's no distractions at home.

00:24:21.446 --> 00:24:22.525
The kids are running in.

00:24:22.525 --> 00:24:25.223
It's like you can look at your phone, it's just different.

00:24:25.263 --> 00:24:26.186
A lot more yeah.

00:24:26.488 --> 00:24:27.069
Present yeah.

00:24:27.901 --> 00:24:28.603
The service is.

00:24:28.603 --> 00:25:02.981
The series is about marriage, which I love, which I love, and this is interesting because I got in a little bit of trouble, because talking about sex and somebody that hasn't listened to our podcast just has heard about it and saying, maybe you know I'm not making the family look great by talking about these things, but Tisha and I have a passion for married couples and knowing that everything's not perfect in any marriage, I think that's for sure, true, and I think that a lot of times you're going to go through hills and valleys and if you're in a valley thinking you're alone in the valley, we want you to know everybody goes through valleys, don't give up, right.

00:25:02.981 --> 00:25:07.721
So it's really important for us to talk about sex, because it's such a thing in marriage.

00:25:07.721 --> 00:25:12.251
Ccv years ago did a marriage series our church and they talked about sex for a month.

00:25:12.251 --> 00:25:13.260
Wasn't it a month?

00:25:13.260 --> 00:25:15.825
I feel like it was a while was it, yeah, when dawn was?

00:25:16.025 --> 00:25:43.662
Yeah, it was when Don was there and I never forgot it, and I think growing up like this is a soapbox, but I grew up in a church where you didn't have sex before you're married and sometimes what that does is it makes sex almost forbidden, so that when you do it, I think there can be times in Christian or maybe other religions where you feel like a guilt about it because even if you're married yes, because it was frowned upon for so many years, like you weren't allowed yeah, there's like a weird there's a guilt that comes with it.

00:25:43.721 --> 00:26:00.352
So I feel like once they talked about it at church, it kind of helped me with that, because maybe I had that growing up where I did feel like it was a sin, but it's something so beautiful from God, especially, like you know, if you let him, yeah, go down there.

00:26:00.352 --> 00:26:05.875
No, that's dirty and wrong, jay, I know, but no, everything's different, but I think like it's such a core part of marriage.

00:26:05.875 --> 00:26:08.423
Yeah, and ashley talked about our pastor this weekend.

00:26:08.423 --> 00:26:13.421
He talked about you know how a man feels pursued and in the bedroom.

00:26:13.421 --> 00:26:20.953
That's one key area right which I am like fine with doing it like Kyle has this thing, we're going for it.

00:26:20.953 --> 00:26:24.387
Kyle has this thing where if I say no, it makes him want to.

00:26:24.387 --> 00:26:25.289
So bad, I'm Kyle.

00:26:25.391 --> 00:26:39.972
I'm the same way when Ben, when we can't, I'm like now, yes but, then when I can, I'm like yeah, when he's like late for a meeting, I'm all hey, you know why I don't know it's like, I don't know it's weird, and why am I the guy?

00:26:39.972 --> 00:26:49.682
It's like you know you start it a lot, um no, well, so like I know, when it's like been a couple days and he's wanting it.

00:26:49.682 --> 00:26:54.804
Yeah, because I can just tell like I'm getting out of the shower and there's the eyes you know and I'm like you know.

00:26:55.224 --> 00:26:58.230
But I will give the green light.

00:26:58.230 --> 00:27:00.614
I don't like necessarily what's the green like?

00:27:00.653 --> 00:27:01.501
can we talk real?

00:27:01.501 --> 00:27:02.042
Let's go.

00:27:02.042 --> 00:27:04.347
You know, you just say that, like that with the thumb.

00:27:04.347 --> 00:27:05.771
Yeah, let's go.

00:27:05.771 --> 00:27:07.382
Like so are you naked when you do?

00:27:07.422 --> 00:27:12.181
let's go or if I drop the kids off at school, come home, he's about to leave.

00:27:12.181 --> 00:27:14.150
I'm like do you have 10 minutes?

00:27:14.511 --> 00:27:14.772
you know.

00:27:14.772 --> 00:27:19.269
So then do you guys both just take off all your clothes and jump in the bed, kind of really yeah oh, that's pretty fun.

00:27:19.308 --> 00:27:21.836
Yeah, yeah, and then it just when he can't.

00:27:21.836 --> 00:27:23.382
It's more exciting.

00:27:23.382 --> 00:27:27.520
It's like a challenge for that's kyle every time I love a challenge yeah, yeah, maybe that's it.

00:27:27.882 --> 00:27:29.644
It's, and like I don't say no that much.

00:27:29.644 --> 00:27:34.480
So when I do, I really mean, no, is that bad, I don't really.

00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:39.832
It's just so much easier, like, like you said, they're just so much happier.

00:27:39.832 --> 00:27:41.884
Oh, so I feel like I know that something.

00:27:41.904 --> 00:27:53.588
Just do it and then like, once it starts, it's fine, oh, once we get going it's great, yeah, but like to get there and, honestly, for women, I feel like so much of not wanting to have sex or not feeling sexual is our own body image.

00:27:53.588 --> 00:28:05.000
Yes, like I've put on a few holiday pounds and it makes it changes like my whole vibe, like I feel like and the guys don't care, I know, but it's like hard, like same when I get out of the shower.

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.030
He's looking and I feel like so like uncomfortable, right you?

00:28:09.050 --> 00:28:16.349
know it's weird, after I had a baby and he was just as attracted to me then as right now and it's like 50 pounds difference.

00:28:16.349 --> 00:28:19.714
It's like it's no difference to them, but for some it's just it's us, I know.

00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:26.396
I wish I could let go of it, because I think sometimes, so often in our marriage, sometimes what's happening with us has nothing to do with him.

00:28:26.396 --> 00:28:36.146
Totally Like, if I'm feeling insecure or feeling bad about myself, I'm so mean to him, which is weird, you would think you'd want to lock him in, you know, and be so nice, but like it's hard.

00:28:36.146 --> 00:28:47.711
So, yeah, right now I'm not feeling and he's like, honestly, so much to do with how nice you are, I really think, because he's like so about it right now and I'm like, ooh, I'm not feeling like sexual yeah.

00:28:47.711 --> 00:28:54.882
And then when I say no, it's like, and that's not like in a rape way, it's sounding weird, yeah, it is sounding weird.

00:28:54.882 --> 00:28:56.763
No, like he'll turn it into a yes.

00:28:57.424 --> 00:28:57.945
That's how I am.

00:28:57.945 --> 00:28:59.387
I'm like challenge accepted.

00:28:59.848 --> 00:29:01.191
So what do you do to get him to say yes?

00:29:01.391 --> 00:29:02.673
Oh, I talk dirty.

00:29:02.732 --> 00:29:03.713
Like what's your go-to.

00:29:04.075 --> 00:29:06.020
Oh boy Grabbing.

00:29:06.020 --> 00:29:08.762
You know I don't care, we're married.

00:29:08.762 --> 00:29:10.924
You know what's your dirty talk like?

00:29:10.924 --> 00:29:11.768
I'm not.

00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:21.280
You big, big boy, no we do have a trick.

00:29:21.301 --> 00:29:21.983
We're not saying the trick on here.

00:29:21.983 --> 00:29:22.506
We have a couple choice.

00:29:22.526 --> 00:29:32.361
I have a couple choice naughty words that I'll use, and then it really gets him going, you know yeah, I'm curious, if ever is dirty talk approved, like, do you think all married couples do dirty talk, or do you think only special ones like you?

00:29:32.642 --> 00:29:37.269
because I don't you do too, oh, yours is, like you, dirty.

00:29:37.308 --> 00:29:41.595
No, no, no, no no, but I know a lot of people that don't do that.

00:29:41.595 --> 00:29:42.942
So then I'm like am I weird?

00:29:42.942 --> 00:29:46.430
So like I never did that it anyone but Ben?

00:29:46.589 --> 00:29:47.050
yeah, I.

00:29:47.050 --> 00:29:50.021
But in marriage, I think we sometimes have a little dirty talk.

00:29:50.021 --> 00:29:51.423
It's not like vulgar.

00:29:51.423 --> 00:29:57.190
I mean maybe it's vul, you're a bad girl.

00:29:57.190 --> 00:29:58.351
No, I'm just kidding.

00:29:58.351 --> 00:30:05.298
We have the baby talk.

00:30:05.318 --> 00:30:06.221
We got the dirty talk.

00:30:06.221 --> 00:30:07.364
Yeah, it does turn.

00:30:07.364 --> 00:30:19.653
Huh, yeah, do you guys, baby talk, wait for real, it's like wait, you're lying in the bedroom, baby talk, baby talk and dirty talk collide and it's like Like give me just a light example.

00:30:19.653 --> 00:30:24.332
Like you want your deweys, you big girl, bad boy, I don't know.

00:30:24.332 --> 00:30:26.724
No one wants to be called big girl first of all.

00:30:26.724 --> 00:30:27.988
No, never, never.

00:30:27.988 --> 00:30:31.166
Big boy isn't bad, no, big girl is horrible.

00:30:31.380 --> 00:30:34.986
Big boys like they, probably like that, yeah, yeah.

00:30:34.986 --> 00:30:47.663
No, I do feel like the talking sometimes can, if you want it to speed up speed up speed things along yeah, it does help or doing anything kind of different.

00:30:47.683 --> 00:30:49.608
Yeah, you can even throw your leg up, and it's a different thing.

00:30:49.608 --> 00:30:51.773
Sorry, jet, anyways, okay.

00:30:51.773 --> 00:30:55.969
So at church they talked about how, like I said, I'm sometimes like, yeah, let's do it, I or like whatever, but I'm not always like the initiator Like I'm.

00:30:55.969 --> 00:30:59.678
I'm sometimes like, yeah, let's do it or like whatever, but I'm not always like the initiator.

00:30:59.678 --> 00:31:02.828
Yes, like I'm not always that Right.

00:31:02.828 --> 00:31:04.223
So I think that's what I could do.

00:31:04.223 --> 00:31:05.809
Better is like start it.

00:31:06.380 --> 00:31:14.247
See, I feel like Ben will initiate, but I have to kind of give the green light because I think he's worried he's going to get turned down.

00:31:14.247 --> 00:31:21.923
So oh, he's like scared to initiate, Not scared, scared, but no, are you nice to him?00:31:21.923 --> 00:31:22.223


No, no, I know.00:31:22.223 --> 00:31:22.505


Is he safe?00:31:22.505 --> 00:31:25.030


No, but if I'm in a mood he won't initiate if he knows I'm in the mood.00:31:25.090 --> 00:31:28.028


Oh, so you kind of have to like help start it along to know it's a go.00:31:28.028 --> 00:31:29.876


Yes, why, if he initiates?00:31:29.896 --> 00:31:30.480


it and you're not in the mood.00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:31.101


Does he get in trouble?00:31:31.101 --> 00:31:35.888


No, but I think he feels like rejected, rejected, and he doesn't love that feeling.00:31:35.929 --> 00:31:36.770


I do think that's a thing.00:31:36.770 --> 00:31:41.209


Yeah, what's funny is, if I want to and he doesn't, do you feel rejected?00:31:41.209 --> 00:31:42.212


I don't, I'm like, okay, cool.00:31:43.416 --> 00:31:44.681


I don't feel like that ever happens.00:31:44.681 --> 00:31:47.969


You know, really, I've never been like wanting it and he doesn't.00:31:48.770 --> 00:31:51.266


Well, I've been like want to, and he's like, yeah, I don't know, I'm kind of tired.00:31:51.266 --> 00:31:54.942


I'm like, okay, yeah, I wouldn't feel rejected by that, yeah, I don't.00:31:54.942 --> 00:31:57.987


But if I did that to him, I think sometimes, oh, they totally do.00:31:58.007 --> 00:31:59.268


Yeah, they're way more sensitive.00:31:59.268 --> 00:32:03.173


I was talking to a friend once and she was like he.00:32:03.173 --> 00:32:12.682


She was complaining that in doing it she has to act really like into it or he doesn't want to do it and I'm like that's the pressure.00:32:12.923 --> 00:32:23.340


No, that's the pressure, yeah, which is a nice guy because, let's be real, there's plenty guys out there like he wants to make sure you're happy yes, but sometimes like, if I have a lot on my mind, it's not about him.00:32:23.340 --> 00:32:28.337


No, I'm like like I'm for the doing it, but I'm like not gonna be as like into it.00:32:28.337 --> 00:32:31.729


Svetlana, you know it'll be like we can get the job done.00:32:31.970 --> 00:32:36.548


Yeah, this is horrible.00:32:36.568 --> 00:32:38.855


Yeah, yeah, no clips it is.00:32:38.855 --> 00:32:43.672


It is hard but he talked about, yeah, men need to feel pursued and they also need to feel like admired.00:32:43.865 --> 00:32:44.689


So what do the women?00:32:44.729 --> 00:32:46.568


need the women need you know?00:32:46.568 --> 00:32:51.272


He told his like dishes story and stuff and then he said many women are different.00:32:51.272 --> 00:32:53.834


Like not all are words of affirmation or this or that.00:32:53.834 --> 00:32:55.307


No, I'm not words of affirmation at all.00:32:55.307 --> 00:32:56.769


So need to ask your spouse what's?00:32:56.769 --> 00:32:58.093


How do they want to be pursued?00:32:58.093 --> 00:33:00.376


Which made me feel kind of like weird.00:33:00.376 --> 00:33:00.958


As he says.00:33:00.958 --> 00:33:02.641


It's kind of like too much feelings for me really.00:33:02.641 --> 00:33:05.787


Yeah, like I don't like like mushy stuff, which is weird.00:33:05.787 --> 00:33:07.873


That's why your baby talk makes me really uncomfortable.00:33:07.893 --> 00:33:15.865


Yeah and I'm less mushy in life like emotional, but then I can baby yeah and you're like a more like mushy person than me.00:33:16.205 --> 00:33:18.752


Yes, like, very like, cuddly and like I, I love you.00:33:18.752 --> 00:33:25.469


Even words like I love you, yes, boobies and weird I, I'm not.00:33:25.469 --> 00:33:27.113


My whole family is like yeah.00:33:27.113 --> 00:33:32.351


So like, talking about like real things that are my feelings is uncomfortable for me sometimes.00:33:32.351 --> 00:33:35.218


But yeah, kyle can wait to ask the questions.00:33:35.218 --> 00:33:37.028


It was like so how do you want to be pursued?00:33:37.087 --> 00:33:40.915


Yeah, I would love that, because I feel like sometimes Ben's pursuing the wrong and I'm not loving it.00:33:41.017 --> 00:33:43.171


Oh, kyle, totally was and it's been amazing.00:33:43.171 --> 00:33:51.352


So I told him actually I don't like when he says no to me off the bat which he does all the time about anything, that like shuts me completely down.00:33:51.352 --> 00:33:53.090


I just don't feel heard at all.00:33:53.090 --> 00:34:10.969


I do that to Ben, it's like my biggest things and it's not what you would think.00:34:10.969 --> 00:34:12.679


It's not doing the dishes, it's not anything.00:34:12.679 --> 00:34:16.246


I just want to feel heard, like if I ask something, I don't even care if it's yes right away.00:34:16.246 --> 00:34:17.827


I just don't want to hear the no right off the bat.00:34:17.827 --> 00:34:19.909


I don't want the attitude, I just want you to hear me.00:34:20.769 --> 00:34:24.833


And then it was like more, I like words of affirmation.00:34:24.833 --> 00:34:32.940


So like sometimes I think he's missing all the things that are being done, you know, and that's really it.00:34:32.940 --> 00:34:38.786


He made me text him to him because he wanted to like go back to it, which was cute, kyle's like rule by the book.00:34:38.786 --> 00:34:39.527


So it was that it was.00:34:39.527 --> 00:34:40.228


Let me see.00:34:40.228 --> 00:34:43.974


And then, um, oh, think of my needs too.00:34:43.974 --> 00:34:48.048


Sometimes I'm always I'm feel like I'm bad, but I take care of all of his needs.00:34:48.048 --> 00:34:49.112


I noticed if he's eaten.00:34:49.112 --> 00:34:51.545


I've noticed if he's got enough sleep.00:34:51.545 --> 00:34:56.934


I noticed if he needs his laundry done, like I noticed all of his needs, and he just notices his needs too.00:34:57.875 --> 00:34:58.956


I'm trying to think what mine is.00:34:58.956 --> 00:35:00.358


You know what I think.00:35:00.358 --> 00:35:06.835


Sometimes I feel like he doesn't like know me or pay attention, like pay.00:35:06.835 --> 00:35:13.394


Like I could go to any restaurant and order exactly what Ben would like and I know what he likes because I just know him.00:35:13.394 --> 00:35:22.628


And sometimes I feel like he doesn't, like he would plan a dinner at a place I hate, like I hate Asian food.00:35:22.628 --> 00:35:23.492


Why would you plan that?00:35:23.592 --> 00:35:24.215


You know what I mean.00:35:24.215 --> 00:35:24.887


Yeah, I don't feel like.00:35:24.887 --> 00:35:26.554


Planning things for you is his strength.00:35:26.554 --> 00:35:30.894


Well, I hate all his plans, so yeah, yeah, I don't think that, but I do think he knows you.00:35:30.894 --> 00:35:39.271


We talked about this the other day Because Tisha just got mad about it, like he tried to surprise her with something and she ate surprises and and she hates surprises and it was like nothing I would ever want.00:35:39.471 --> 00:35:43.835


Yeah, but I feel like he knows you more, like in certain ways, than Kyle knows me.00:35:43.835 --> 00:35:46.237


But it's me and Ben are the same and you and Kyle are the same.00:35:46.237 --> 00:35:49.041


Like I feel like he always can make you laugh when you're mad.00:35:49.385 --> 00:35:49.545


Totally.00:35:49.565 --> 00:35:51.371


I think Kyle makes me more mad when I'm mad.00:35:51.371 --> 00:35:53.210


Yeah, like that's one of our biggest things.00:35:53.210 --> 00:36:00.831


Our fights are not over anything that big, they're small things that I don't feel heard and I want to freak out Like, because I don't feel like he gets me.00:36:00.831 --> 00:36:04.574


But I feel like Kyle can plan anything for me and he would nail it.00:36:04.574 --> 00:36:15.346


Yeah for sure, totally gets like what I like, what I like, that's what it is what I like, yes, that's what it is, but you get him and Kyle gets me, but I get like who he is.00:36:15.346 --> 00:36:16.688


I know what will calm him down.00:36:17.311 --> 00:36:20.717


Yes, he does do that, yes, and I know like when he's stressed what he needs.00:36:20.717 --> 00:36:22.748


But he doesn't know what I like, ever I don't know what Kyle likes either.00:36:22.768 --> 00:36:23.472


really, though, yeah.00:36:23.472 --> 00:36:26.634


Like a little but not as good as he knows.00:36:26.634 --> 00:36:28.090


He can nail anything for me like that.00:36:28.090 --> 00:36:29.052


Right right, that's how I am.00:36:29.052 --> 00:36:31.585


Yeah, but how would you want to be pursued?00:36:31.585 --> 00:36:36.429


I don't know If Ben does A, b and C.00:36:36.429 --> 00:36:37.289


What really makes you happy?00:36:37.289 --> 00:36:39.951


I feel like the coffee is one.00:36:40.291 --> 00:36:42.871


Yeah, I feel like he does things I don't know.00:36:42.871 --> 00:36:43.753


I feel pursued.00:36:43.753 --> 00:36:45.333


Yeah, I think he does pursue.00:36:45.333 --> 00:36:49.014


Yeah, like he fills my gas tank up, that makes me happy.00:36:49.014 --> 00:36:53.637


Washes my car, he takes care of me, that makes me feel very, yeah, secure.00:36:53.818 --> 00:36:54.938


Yes, he does take care of.00:36:54.938 --> 00:36:57.960


Oh good, it's made, cause I'm not going to make it for myself.00:36:57.960 --> 00:37:08.186


Yeah, that's funny.00:37:08.186 --> 00:37:08.505


Yeah, yeah, kyle.00:37:08.505 --> 00:37:16.132


They talked about, too, how important it is for a man to feel like admired by his wife, like that what he's going and doing is being appreciated and that anyone in the world can critique them.00:37:16.474 --> 00:37:25.586


But when the wife does, it really affects their self-esteem well, we were talking to our clients yesterday and they said the cutest thing first yeah, it was, and we walked to the car tell the story.00:37:25.586 --> 00:37:29.737


Okay, so we were going to their house and they were just so cute interacting.00:37:29.737 --> 00:37:36.586


The whole time, so respectful so respectful, but like even there was a time she was doing something and he was like, no, no, wait.00:37:36.586 --> 00:37:37.909


But it was very respectful.00:37:37.969 --> 00:37:39.132


I'd be like what are you doing?00:37:39.313 --> 00:37:43.981


you know totally and so after we were like you guys are so cute, what is your?00:37:43.981 --> 00:37:45.744


And they've been married 27 years.00:37:45.744 --> 00:37:48.530


And they said, which is so admirable.00:37:48.530 --> 00:38:00.273


They said we've never said anything mean to each other, even in joking around, because there's always some truth and even if you said it in a joking, it'd make the other person wonder oh, oh, was this true?00:38:00.273 --> 00:38:05.010


And they were like all bets are off with the kids.00:38:05.010 --> 00:38:07.257


We're rude to the kids, we're calling them dumb ass, but we would never say and he goes.00:38:07.257 --> 00:38:10.606


She would never say to me what are you an idiot, are you being a dumb ASS?00:38:10.606 --> 00:38:11.347


And he goes.00:38:11.347 --> 00:38:12.809


That would be like a knife in the heart.00:38:12.809 --> 00:38:14.532


And so that's so true.00:38:14.532 --> 00:38:14.913


Yeah.00:38:15.333 --> 00:38:18.077


We both walked to the car and I was all bloop, bloop, bloop and.00:38:18.697 --> 00:38:23.250


I was picturing the surprise that Ben did that I hated and I was like you idiot, why would you do that?00:38:23.250 --> 00:38:28.108


You know, like berating him, yeah, I was like that was the worst choice, like I hate it.00:38:28.210 --> 00:38:33.590


You know yeah, it's funny because that's what they talked about at church is being intentional and nothing is more important than your marriage.00:38:33.590 --> 00:38:37.713


But you have, like so often in life, we just show up for our marriage.00:38:37.713 --> 00:38:42.177


We just like he's like, if you just show up for work and didn't work all day, would you be getting successful?00:38:42.177 --> 00:38:47.181


Would you be he's like if you just showed up for your kids and hope they get to school, right, hope, like he's like.00:38:47.181 --> 00:38:48.407


That's what we do with our marriages.00:38:48.427 --> 00:39:02.264


We just put them on autopilot and wonder why they're not like if you're not actively feeding it, going on vacations or doing day yeah, or making a rule yeah that because I think you can cut harder and more painful with your marriage than you can with anything else.00:39:02.324 --> 00:39:06.010


So like when I do I have a tongue, that's my bad thing.00:39:06.010 --> 00:39:08.452


It's like when I get hurt, I want to hurt back.00:39:08.452 --> 00:39:12.114


Yeah, I think that was from years of me not sticking up for myself.00:39:12.114 --> 00:39:13.871


I'm really going to stick up for myself now.00:39:14.264 --> 00:39:18.588


You're really nailing it, but it's sad because he didn't do any of those bad things to me that those other people did.00:39:18.588 --> 00:39:20.951


But I have to really work on my tongue.00:39:20.951 --> 00:39:32.601


I want to make sure I'm always putting life into Kyle and like telling him because he is so wonderful and like he is a really hard worker and he does provide very well, and I want him to always know that we really appreciate that.00:39:32.601 --> 00:39:34.425


It's funny, though.00:39:34.425 --> 00:39:36.449


What you love about each other and what you like are intrigued.00:39:36.630 --> 00:39:53.273


It was what drives you crazy too yeah, because ben's so type a and oh, the type a drives me nuts oh we had a horrible so the so at the end of the day, ken and bear have to pick up fox from his classroom and then they walk into the neighborhood where I picked them up.00:39:53.273 --> 00:39:59.856


Well, they fight about who has to get him, and it's rude, and they do it in front of him.00:39:59.856 --> 00:40:01.907


I don't want to get him, I will, you get him?00:40:01.907 --> 00:40:05.706


I got him yesterday and so Ben and I were done with it and we and Ben went.00:40:05.706 --> 00:40:11.996


Ben had to take him to school one day cause I had to go do something, and so he does this thing where, like, nothing bothers him until he's dealing with it.00:40:12.096 --> 00:40:16.467


So on the way to school he finally heard the fighting and so he was raging.00:40:16.467 --> 00:40:18.489


So he, he, he, and so he was raging.00:40:18.489 --> 00:40:22.192


So he called me and he's like it's so rude, they're being mean to him and it makes him feel bad.00:40:22.192 --> 00:40:24.034


And his little buddy no one's messing with his buddy.00:40:24.034 --> 00:40:27.677


So he was going crazy and he went crazy on.00:40:27.677 --> 00:40:30.137


Bear took his phone, like went crazy, but it was warranted.00:40:30.137 --> 00:40:35.362


It's rude and we don't like stand for that with each other, like we really try to make them treat each other good.00:40:35.362 --> 00:40:42.146


Yeah, so then, yeah, so.00:40:42.146 --> 00:40:48.447


Then later that night bear came in from playing football in the grass at the park with all his buddies for like two hours, and so he was covered in grass and he walked in the house and grass went everywhere.00:40:48.447 --> 00:40:56.106


And then ben acted the same about the grass as he did, being mean to your brother and like to me.00:40:56.106 --> 00:40:57.429


It's like a 10 and a 2.00:40:57.429 --> 00:41:05.628


And if you're always in trouble about dumb things, it's like then the big trouble about treating your brother.00:41:05.628 --> 00:41:08.853


It loses like efficacy.00:41:09.012 --> 00:41:18.108


You know what I mean Big word Like effectiveness, effectiveness, effectiveness, oh, okay, because, oh, I'm going to get yelled at about grass, and it's like he didn't intentionally do it.00:41:18.108 --> 00:41:21.855


He just didn't think he I'm going to get y'all out about grass, and it's like he didn't intentionally do it.00:41:21.855 --> 00:41:25.902


He just didn't think he's a boy, he's running in you know, and so I'm like you need to like calm down.00:41:25.961 --> 00:41:27.224


So, but like to your point, Does he listen to you?00:41:27.224 --> 00:41:27.445


Yes, we did.00:41:27.445 --> 00:41:29.838


I had a talk and then he told me sorry, I just had just done the floors.00:41:42.199 --> 00:41:47.550


And like he's the house, I'll say level one, level one, level one like, but certain things really trigger him.00:41:47.550 --> 00:41:55.436


But sometimes I think, all the like he likes to get everything done right away and I'm like this doesn't matter.00:41:55.436 --> 00:41:58.978


But then I'm like if he wasn't like that, nothing would get done, and even the budget.00:41:58.978 --> 00:42:10.172


Now that I'm on team budget, I'm like listening to Dave Ramsey and literally everything they're saying is what Kyle's been saying to me, right, and I'm like, gosh, he's always right, yeah, but I don't like him to be always right, which is stupid.00:42:10.172 --> 00:42:11.155


I should just listen to him.00:42:11.155 --> 00:42:29.755


But it's funny, like what God puts you with is like what you need, and I'm misindependent, like a counterpart, yeah, and I think sometimes we like get annoyed at that stuff, but it's like what I don't do that with you, though, back to our love, love life, but like you're opposite me in a lot of ways, but I already know that that helps me.00:42:30.115 --> 00:42:30.766


You don't get on my nerves.00:42:30.766 --> 00:42:34.764


You like to get things done the same, you kind of nag me about things and I'm not annoyed.00:42:34.764 --> 00:42:36.168


Yeah, why is that?00:42:36.168 --> 00:42:36.789


I don't know.00:42:36.909 --> 00:42:40.416


I know, I mean, I feel like you get me Ben, doesn't you know?00:42:40.436 --> 00:42:46.054


I know it's weird, yeah, but I think sometimes, like a lot of they say in marriage, always assume the best in each other.00:42:46.054 --> 00:42:47.398


Yeah, and it's weird.00:42:47.398 --> 00:42:49.552


I think sometimes it's easy to assume the worst in each other.00:43:00.945 --> 00:43:01.666


Or when other people are getting you.00:43:01.666 --> 00:43:02.610


You think this person must not be right for me.00:43:02.610 --> 00:43:04.056


To my friend Kara, shout out she's not a jerky, but I think she's a jerky.00:43:04.056 --> 00:43:04.617


Now she's becoming a jerk.00:43:04.617 --> 00:43:04.998


Yeah, kara, welcome.00:43:04.998 --> 00:43:08.751


Anyways, we were talking and I was telling her about the thing he did and she goes why didn't he just call me or call Crystal?00:43:08.751 --> 00:43:10.195


We would have said she's not gonna like that.00:43:10.195 --> 00:43:10.945


Yeah, you know.00:43:10.945 --> 00:43:14.934


And and I was like, yeah, you get it, she gets it.00:43:14.974 --> 00:43:18.648


Yeah, and then it makes you more like what well, you can start spiraling.00:43:18.648 --> 00:43:26.230


Or if your friend friend was like, yeah, he doesn't get you, you know, and it's like Ben is so right for me in every way, totally Just because he doesn't get.00:43:26.250 --> 00:43:26.490


I know.00:43:26.490 --> 00:43:56.695


Thank God you don't have friends like that, though that's what I mean, because they could tag team you in a totally different way, but people do that or they was like a big turning point in our marriage was around the time we talk about like Lincoln, him leaving his family business.00:43:56.695 --> 00:43:59.349


Later I ended up kind of leaving mine.00:43:59.349 --> 00:44:00.172


It was bad.00:44:00.172 --> 00:44:06.016


There was a lot of outside stress on our plates and of course, that makes your marriage contentious.00:44:06.016 --> 00:44:06.726


Is that the right word?00:44:06.726 --> 00:44:08.750


Yeah, like like it's stress.00:44:08.750 --> 00:44:10.655


Yeah, and at that point I was getting real done.00:44:10.655 --> 00:44:12.686


I was like I'm done, da, da da.00:44:12.686 --> 00:44:14.010


I told my brother I'm done with this.00:44:14.010 --> 00:44:19.293


It was just like more stress on my plate and that's like my brother was like this is the most important thing to you.00:44:19.293 --> 00:44:26.467


You need to go to marriage counseling, you need to figure this out, and I'm so thankful that he went that way rather than be done.00:44:26.467 --> 00:44:27.210


You're right.00:44:27.210 --> 00:44:29.565


Yeah, because you could have listened, because my brother and I agree on everything.00:44:29.585 --> 00:44:32.454


We're the same and you trust him and you know he wants the best for you.00:44:32.514 --> 00:44:39.652


So like you could have listened and the things that were probably irritating me were probably irritating my brother, because we're the same right, but he but he still always has Kyle's back.00:44:39.652 --> 00:44:41.135


My mom always has Kyle's back.00:44:41.155 --> 00:44:41.896


I always have his back.00:44:41.896 --> 00:44:42.938


Yeah, you always have Ben's.00:44:43.159 --> 00:44:44.650


Yeah, but I think sometimes it's easy.00:44:44.650 --> 00:45:05.668


That's the only time I've told them, but I was really done and I needed outside help, right, and it really.00:45:05.668 --> 00:45:13.826


Once we got down, starting off with church, not running around to sports all day, like just, and then like meeting each other's needs, we went to the movies that night.00:45:13.826 --> 00:45:14.847


It was so fun.00:45:14.847 --> 00:45:16.813


We saw Den of Thieves it was so good, is it?00:45:16.813 --> 00:45:18.076


I never saw the first one.00:45:18.076 --> 00:45:21.688


I didn't either, or I don't remember it.00:45:21.688 --> 00:45:22.931


You need to see the first one, okay, because I was annoyed.00:45:22.931 --> 00:45:24.094


I was like dang, I wish I would have watched it.00:45:24.505 --> 00:45:26.150


It was really good, I'm gonna plan a date night.00:45:26.150 --> 00:45:29.027


Yeah, maybe that's how I'd want to be pursued too, like plan something.00:45:29.027 --> 00:45:32.396


But I don't really like his plans, so never mind no, I think, just going.00:45:32.637 --> 00:45:34.588


You want to plan it, but you guys want to make it a priority.00:45:34.588 --> 00:45:37.472


To go, yes, because and quality time is I'm.00:45:37.472 --> 00:45:38.293


So quality time.00:45:38.293 --> 00:45:39.376


Oh see, and I'm not.00:45:39.376 --> 00:45:40.197


I like quality time.00:45:40.197 --> 00:45:42.039


I was reading when you were talking.00:45:42.039 --> 00:45:43.530


My third one was I'm all.00:45:43.550 --> 00:45:47.670


Thank you, I'm just kidding, no no, cause people are texting about work and it's closing.00:45:47.670 --> 00:45:50.096


But no, it was no, I said I was going to look it up.00:45:50.096 --> 00:45:50.797


It was alone time.00:45:50.797 --> 00:45:54.407


I like recharge alone and he likes recharge with me.00:45:54.407 --> 00:45:57.969


So sometimes, sometimes I've had a day and I just want to be alone and he takes it personal.00:45:58.030 --> 00:45:59.690


He's like me yeah.00:45:59.690 --> 00:46:00.931


He likes quality time.00:46:00.931 --> 00:46:01.893


He does like quality time.00:46:01.893 --> 00:46:07.938


That's why I'm always planning experiences, because it's like a way for us to spend time together, the family, ben and I.00:46:07.938 --> 00:46:10.099


I love an experience together.00:46:10.139 --> 00:46:18.012


It's like our quality time, you know it's like no one's working, no one's you know, yeah, kyle's probably like that too, and I'm like, okay, cool, we've been together now.00:46:18.012 --> 00:46:19.695


Yeah, that's so funny.00:46:19.715 --> 00:46:20.478


Yeah, I like to be alone.00:46:20.478 --> 00:46:22.030


Yeah, he does like to be with you all the time.00:46:22.030 --> 00:46:23.213


He's never doing anything.00:46:23.313 --> 00:46:29.804


No, and like in the room with me following me, like you're, you know, like he loves, and that's really sweet, really sweet.00:46:29.804 --> 00:46:30.849


But I like to be alone.00:46:40.605 --> 00:46:41.327


So sometimes it that's pursuing me.00:46:41.327 --> 00:46:42.429


Leave me alone, yeah, and then I'll do the happy dance.00:46:42.469 --> 00:46:43.512


You know, we know you're doing that anyway.00:46:43.512 --> 00:46:45.577


So All right, let's sum it up Judd's almost asleep.00:46:45.577 --> 00:46:49.010


Oh Well, we'll see you guys next week.00:46:49.010 --> 00:46:51.807


Pursue your husband in the bedroom, let him go downstairs.00:46:51.807 --> 00:46:53.454


Tish, come on.00:46:53.985 --> 00:46:55.565


Yeah, maybe that's on his list, you know.00:46:55.786 --> 00:46:56.646


It probably is.00:46:56.646 --> 00:46:57.148


Why it probably is.00:46:57.148 --> 00:46:58.108


Why is something a no?00:46:58.568 --> 00:47:00.630


It's not a no, it's just not going to happen every day.00:47:00.630 --> 00:47:05.074


Like you, your house, it's like a free-for-all, like who's eating what?00:47:05.074 --> 00:47:07.077


It's like what's going on.00:47:07.277 --> 00:47:08.277


That's wrong, edit.00:47:08.277 --> 00:47:10.480


All right, guys, we'll see you next week.00:47:10.679 --> 00:47:11.380


See you next week.00:47:11.760 --> 00:47:19.650


Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and Crystal makes fun of me the whole time and it's great and it's real.