S3 E24: Season 3 Finale

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Welcome to Jerking Around, a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and Crystal makes fun of me all the time and it's great and it's real.

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Welcome to Jerking Around.

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Welcome Guys.

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It's a sad day, it is.

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It's going to be the season ender, season finale.

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This is our last, I know.

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Yeah, I know Our last one for this season.

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Melissa didn't know.

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Yeah, yeah, well, we got to explain why.

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Yeah, we got to explain why Only because, yes, we've thought long and hard and we really prayed about it.

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Yeah, we believe in seasons, seasons of life, seasons of the podcast.

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So we've done season one, season two, season three, and we believe this is the ending for season three.

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Yeah, and we just were big on being present with the kids, and the kids are off of school, so we really want to.

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It's getting better.

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I know it's cute jacket.

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We really want to make the memories better.

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I know it's cute, jacket.

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We really want to make the memories with the kids.

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We don't want to spend a whole day coming here and doing all this.

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We love it but we just believe to miss us a little you'll like it and find out what goes on in the summer.

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You'll have to wait and see.

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Yeah, but we're like chick-fil-a, we just believe in the summers.

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We work still in the summer and, honestly, our job gets pretty busy in the summer, right, but when we're not working, we take a vacations and we're big vacation people.

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Yeah, we love a vacation and we've decided to be proud of it.

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Yeah, Because sometimes we're embarrassed yeah.

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We were.

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We were closet vacationers not very closet Cause you all know, but we like get ashamed sometimes that we travel and then we're like we're not gonna be shamed anymore because we don't do other things, because we travel and people can spend money, like my patio furniture has holes in it because I want to take a trip and buy new patio furniture.

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Yeah, so my clothes are dorky.

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I wear dorky clothes.

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I have a hard time spending money on clothes, yeah.

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Everyone has their area.

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I don't love.

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Yeah, yeah, everyone has their area.

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I don't love yeah, yeah, yeah so, but I like to travel and we have.

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I sneak the travel in because Kyle isn't a big traveler.

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No, he was raised camping, so he would camp, yeah, and do like more free vacations.

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This guy's coming for me, yeah, um he would do free vacation.

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He likes to buy stuff, more he likes to buy he would buy a boat right now if he could right, he would have payments on things I don't like.

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Like payments, but I also like moments.

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Yes, and in my Dave Ramsey yes Mornings he talks about like four effective ways to spend money and one of them is on memories.

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You'll feel good.

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I do think that with the kids.

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Like I look back at all the memories and like I bought him for Christmas last year, but I can like picture every trip, I agree.

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And it's like Kyle and I both work private jobs and I feel like you and Ben are like this as well, so our phone rings 24-7.

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So if we don't get out of town, it doesn't feel like we ever get a break.

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So when we go out of town, it's like we're still answering the phone at the beach, but we're watching the waves and we're with the kids.

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Yes, so it's a way to like justify how much we answer the phone.

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Is that we get to?

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And when I take Kyle, my husband, out of our environment, he relaxes.

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Yeah, and I feel like we talk about the grouchy husband kind of, yeah, which we love men, but there is a grouchy husband.

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I feel like most husbands are more grouchy.

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Totally, they say no to things more.

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The best way to combat our family's grouchy husband is to get him out of town.

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And Ben's the same way.

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Even his parents were like, yeah, I only see the real relaxed Ben when he's hunting or on vacation.

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Yeah, it's crazy.

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Because he can't relax, he can't calm down, he can't unwind, and I think it's their jobs and whatever.

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He's constantly thinking and stressing and worked up and doing this at the house, he won't relax.

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So the only way to get him to relax is out of town.

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He's like fun dad, fun husband.

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I agree, kyle too, so fun and he's fun when we're with you.

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So I like traveling with you because then when we travel alone I have to plan everything and I don't enjoy it anymore.

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I used to love it.

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I feel like you went to Hawaii years ago.

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I was like more of the planner yeah, so weird.

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Totally, I am just not a planner anymore.

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I don't want to do it anymore.

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I love the plan.

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I love going to my brother.

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I'll plan anyone's vacation.

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Call me, you know I don't want to plan.

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I don't want to know where to go to dinner.

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I don't want to read about it.

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I don't want to pick the things.

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So like when we go, it's just glorious.

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Yeah, I called him.

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I was like hey, you need to send me money for the luau.

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He's like all right, let me know you already booked it.

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Yeah, he's just so funny, you know.

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Yeah, he doesn't even yell at you, no, so so the bottom line is figure out what works and spend money on it.

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Yeah, we also sneak it because we have a hyatt credit card and kyle uses that for like work when he buys supplies and stuff, so it helps us get free rooms right.

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So then I can like it's a free room, we just have to get there right, and then I use, like the credit card for my business, so usually I can get a few free flights.

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That's how we are.

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So if you have a grouchy husband, try to sneak it in by using the word free, even though it's not really free.

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No, as I'm learning with Dave Ramsey, like if you didn't put things in the credit, kyle pays off.

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Yes, I don't always as well, but I'm getting good at it.

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Well, if you can pay it right off, it's a way to work the system.

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Work the system a little bit.

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It's when you get in trouble is if you can't pay it off, and I've done that.

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I've been there too, yeah.

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And it sucks.

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But Dave says you know we're not doing that anymore, but so we are.

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We travel a lot and we travel on different schedules apart.

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We're actually going to Hawaii.

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We're super excited.

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We told you guys about that.

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But we just want to be like in the moment and be present.

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Yeah, and we're not.

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We don't want to.

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We want to be Chick-fil-A and we want to make our values a priority.

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So our value is that we think it's important to be with the kids.

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Yeah, so we'll be back in the fall, once the kids get back in school, we get back to recording and it's going to be exciting.

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I'm excited for tisha thinks we're going to do some live videos.

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Yeah, I was like, let's do some live.

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Yeah, while we're gone.

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We're just super uncomfortable with it.

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Yeah, but we're going to try, because everybody likes our staging videos.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, and everybody likes our stuff, so we're going to try to do that more so you can see, especially on Especially on the ones we're together.

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Yeah, I told her I'm like let's do like YouTube videos, because Crystal's good at editing, she can edit our YouTube videos.

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Yeah, yeah, see.

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Yeah, yeah, let's do some YouTube.

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We want to be live.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, melissa's going to help us.

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Yeah, she's in this podcast journey, just ourselves.

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Yeah, that's why we look, I have a butt, butt boob today and it's just what it is.

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I woke up at six to work out, so I didn't.

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I'm like sweaty and smell.

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Yeah, we just really want to lean into being authentically ourselves.

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We've been so we decided for today's podcast we're going to just do some reflection on since we started the podcast and season three, specifically on our life journey and this amazing studio and people that we met this year.

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Yeah, so for me, driving here, we had reflection.

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We're going through a weird transition.

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Tisha kennedy kennedy's going to high school, which we like, raise our kids like the amish, you know, like all is one.

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It's weird like I was begging hudson to go to high school yesterday.

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I'm all hudson just and she's telling maddie that we're going to take her to Summit tomorrow.

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I know, I want to tell and they bullied me at an event You're going.

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I'm like she's not going.

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She's not missing school, I'll do her homework.

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Let's have her go.

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No she's not going.

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She has a dance recital thing for school.

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No, and it's okay.

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It's, it's.

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She's not going, you, and I feel good about that because I feel like if she wasn't, I think I would have a really hard time and she's still gonna be a top gun, yeah.

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So I'm feeling okay, but it is a really big transition.

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This has been like seven, eight years and I can't at the eight years and I can't At the cheer gym.

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Yeah, and.

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I can't even like.

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I'm just like what is going on?

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Yeah, it's a big change.

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It's like when you know you're going to have a baby and you feel like this change is coming and it's like such an unsettling feeling.

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Yeah, I had that last year.

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High school scared me with Maddie.

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I felt like, and honestly, looking back, it's like you know, when you look back and you're like the naiveness was a blessing.

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Yeah, like I'm glad I didn't know what I know now, because I would have been more scared.

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Oh shit, like the growth she's taken in a year is crazy.

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Yeah, she's so independent.

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She's never home, she's always with people.

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Yeah, she's in cars.

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We never even let her used to ride with anyone.

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Now she's riding.

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Her friend took her to school this morning.

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It's like, is she even my daughter?

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But I didn't know all that.

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But sometimes I feel like I was feeling like we say like a lot, someone just made fun of us, screw you.

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We say like a lot, oh, my gosh.

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On the real, Kyle yelled at me you bastard or something.

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Yeah, I felt better, though, cause I was watching the Kardashians and Courtney was like, yeah, I just have them edit out all the likes.

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And it showed clips and it was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like.

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She said it so many times.

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Yeah, I felt better about myself, but we just talk like that in real life.

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That's the problem Totally.

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But, um, I was seeing like so much you like seasons change and there's so many things that you're scared of change.

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And then, when you look back at him, that change was really such a blessing and we were talking about that this morning like coming to the podcast every Tuesday was like a gift for me this year.

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Like, again, lesbian lover.

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Um, I like no matter what kind of day or week I had, knowing on Tuesday teachers picking me up and we were driving and we were going to go to Chino Bandito, our favorite place after.

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It was just like a blessing and it got me into some structure that changed the business, you know, because I was quitting last year and I don't think I meant to quit, I think I just needed to make some changes.

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But when you're going through it, you don't realize the changes needed to be made to get you where you want to be.

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So you're just kind of like making choices to try to dodge, like uncomfortableness.

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In turn, it's like a blessing.

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Like even at our cheer team, we've made some hard changes lately, just because people don't like change, and on the other side of it, I'm like those changes, even though they were hard, they're such blessings now, yeah, but it's like when we're going through it we don't realize.

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Like, even talking about leaving Top Gun, like can you go into high school?

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It's going to be this blessing, like there's going to be something that comes so good out of the next change, but so often we're scared for change well, no one likes change.

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It's scary so I feel like there has to be things that catapult you to do them, because otherwise very few people would choose to leave it.

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You know yeah even like hosting things at my house.

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I was thinking about all the things because I've been really tired lately and and I'm like I've hosted so many things at the house lately and I was remembering when I used to host wildlife at my house and shine this women's Bible study and it was so sad when those things ended, but it was like I didn't know in hindsight that God was making room for something else, right.

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Cause you never could have done them all.

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Yeah, exactly.

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But when you have to let go of something, it's sad, it is, but you don't realize there's growth coming.

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And even for me, this last season season three, I would say after losing my dad, I feel like I can talk about it now without crying.

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I feel like it just made such an impact on my life in such a positive way that I'm just way more present in the now, even with working, I don't feel like I've lost that.

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I don't feel like I'm running crazy.

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No, even though life is crazy, I feel very present.

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And I also feel like with work, like we change a lot.

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We are a third of the team we used to be, and that's always hard because, again, bigger seems better.

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And I feel like as a business owner, I grew to climb the ladder, like I wanted to have the big team, the big name.

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You know I wanted all that everybody else had.

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And as I was getting there, I was like it's not so great.

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More work means more overhead costs, means you have to work more to make the same money.

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More money, more problems, more money, more problems is so true.

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And I think it's like a pivot where you learn I don't need my name in lights, no, like I don't need to be that big to be happy.

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No, but I think that's growth.

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Like I think we all have those things.

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And I just feel like I don't really care about that anymore.

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No, which is big for me.

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Usually, I like that yeah you're more into that than me.

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Oh, I love that stuff.

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But I don just forgetting Shoot Is it about growing and getting bigger.

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Getting present.

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Oh, I think the 40s, especially now that we're hitting 45, I feel like it's such a cool age.

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Yeah, I know you like to stay young, so I don't know if you would say that.

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No, I like the 40s.

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I just want to look 20s.

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Yeah See, I know Internally I'm loving 40s, I love the 40s.

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I'm like confident, I don't care.

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I feel like it's the best era yet.

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Yes, it's so fun, I don't have a lot of regrets and you have, like you're more established.

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You don't give an no and you're, you know no-transcript therapy too.

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Yeah, like one of the biggest things I think I took out of therapy which in season three there has been no therapy which is like a good thing in a way.

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I've learned to really learn what I can.

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You haven't gone in a while.

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I haven't gone.

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Yeah, after my dad died I went like one or two times and then that was it.

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But I think I really learned this.

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What I needed to learn in therapy was that I can only control myself, right, and I think that's something that people don't.

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You don't learn that enough.

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Just as a kid, you're worried about all the things.

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Right again with the let them theory it's kind of the same, just worded differently is you can't worry if everybody's mad.

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You can't worry if everything's going to go your way.

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You can't worry about what sports team your kid's going to be on, because sometimes, when we are placing everything where it's supposed to be, we're forgetting to let God move Right, and sometimes we got to just sit back and wait for the cards to fall and just trust that we're doing what we can, and if we hurt people's feelings on the journey, that's not our problem.

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Yeah, as long as you're respectful and honest.

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I think that's something I was.

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My brother just told me this.

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This weekend we went away.

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We went to New York last week for a few days and I feel like when I go with my brother it's like a retreat.

00:13:57.440 --> 00:14:03.091
Yeah, like it's, it's like a boot like a bootcamp for your mind it's like a boot camp from toughness and business.

00:14:03.091 --> 00:14:04.153
He's like get it together.

00:14:04.153 --> 00:14:06.583
Yeah, last year, yeah, we went away when.

00:14:06.583 --> 00:14:08.789
I was quitting he got me to not quit he made me came back.

00:14:08.830 --> 00:14:10.062
You're on like 75 hard.

00:14:10.062 --> 00:14:11.087
I'm like what's going on?

00:14:11.087 --> 00:14:11.750
This is great.

00:14:11.750 --> 00:14:12.673
I'm all over.

00:14:12.673 --> 00:14:15.123
Go with Justin more often because she wasn't quitting all of a sudden.

00:14:15.403 --> 00:14:23.171
I mean he's not afraid to tell me the truth, whereas in life maybe I come across strong, where some people aren't telling me the truth because I argue.

00:14:23.812 --> 00:14:32.493
Well, and I tell you the truth, but I feel like sometimes you argue or some things like with the work, it was like I was too close to it.

00:14:32.493 --> 00:14:38.168
I didn't feel, like I didn't want to tell you not to quit because I felt like you would feel like it was benefiting me.

00:14:38.168 --> 00:14:41.846
Yeah, so it was hard, for I would like not read it the right way.

00:14:42.067 --> 00:14:42.467
Yeah and I.

00:14:42.467 --> 00:14:48.568
It was hard for me to like be objective, Cause it was, I was in it, you know.

00:14:48.568 --> 00:14:51.039
So I didn't want to be like, no, that's stupid.

00:14:51.039 --> 00:14:55.447
Cause you'd be like, well, you're telling me that cause you're gonna lose your job, Exactly.

00:14:55.607 --> 00:14:58.231
Yeah, but yeah no, so it wasn't.

00:14:58.231 --> 00:15:01.696
Of course you don't want me to leave, exactly so I don't feel like I could have said that for that.

00:15:01.696 --> 00:15:02.735
Well, I feel like this.

00:15:02.735 --> 00:15:14.918
This conference that we had in New York was he was, I was telling him certain stories and, um, he told me that sometimes I am dodging the truth when, in spite, the truth would have made things a lot easier.

00:15:15.318 --> 00:15:25.289
And you always tell that, because we're the same, her teacher's husband is like me we don't like to hurt people, so we sometimes like, won't say the truth, like, hey, are you going to come to the conference on Tuesday, maybe?

00:15:25.971 --> 00:15:26.873
And I know I'm not going.

00:15:26.873 --> 00:15:31.447
Ben does that all the time and because he doesn't want to piss people off and I'm like they're not going to be mad.

00:15:31.447 --> 00:15:36.841
They might be a little disappointed, but they're mad when they think you're coming and then the last second you say no, I'm not.

00:15:37.240 --> 00:15:46.105
Yeah, and instead I need to just tell when I was with the bigger team, I was friends, even if we weren't friends right away.

00:15:46.105 --> 00:15:49.927
I became so close with everyone on the team that sometimes it was hard to lead honestly.

00:15:49.927 --> 00:16:00.351
Yeah, because I didn't want to hurt them because it was so personal, right, and instead I needed to just like say what I was thinking, feeling or what I thought would help people grow.

00:16:00.351 --> 00:16:09.587
Yeah, because that's your job as a leader, and I think that in a lot of things Like it's what I'm gonna, let's be honest, you could be on Kristen's podcast.

00:16:09.587 --> 00:16:10.835
I'm gonna work on that, I'm gonna.

00:16:10.835 --> 00:16:15.658
I feel like I've gotten better, though, because when you don't care what people think, you're more likely to be honest.

00:16:15.658 --> 00:16:18.087
Yeah, because you're not worried about the repercussion.

00:16:18.087 --> 00:16:20.836
But 40s, yeah, I just feel like it's a great time.

00:16:20.836 --> 00:16:28.100
I what would you think your hardest, like block of age, would have been 20s for sure really hardest, hardest, really.

00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:32.989
yeah, why I like, I really wanted to get married.

00:16:32.989 --> 00:16:37.543
That's when everyone starts getting married and I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.

00:16:37.543 --> 00:16:39.100
I knew I always wanted to be a mom.

00:16:39.254 --> 00:16:54.250
So when I'm not married, it's all well, shit that plan's not going great you know, I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, so my 20s was like I feel like I was looking for a husband the whole time and I wish I'm worried about being last.

00:16:54.149 --> 00:16:57.101
Everybody's worried about being last and everyone was getting married and then I was dating idiots.

00:16:57.101 --> 00:17:10.421
And I wish I actually look back now and I'm like that was so fun and I wish I could tell myself it's all going to work out, you're going to meet the one, he's going to be everything you wanted and you're going to have a great life.

00:17:10.421 --> 00:17:17.330
And then I would have really enjoyed my twenties more, because I was so stressed and worked up and you just don't know yourself.

00:17:17.330 --> 00:17:22.758
You're figuring things out.

00:17:22.778 --> 00:17:23.701
You make horrible decisions, you're just lost.

00:17:23.701 --> 00:17:24.345
I think it's a very lost.

00:17:24.345 --> 00:17:25.269
And then that's when I became a Christian.

00:17:25.269 --> 00:17:28.616
So I kind of like had a whole transformation where I was like not doing the best things and then I became a Christian.

00:17:28.616 --> 00:17:32.563
And then I was like not doing the best things and then I became a Christian and then I was better.

00:17:32.563 --> 00:17:33.824
It was just very.

00:17:33.824 --> 00:17:37.249
It was a weird time yeah, 100%.

00:17:37.269 --> 00:17:46.941
For me too, that was, um, I don't know if I for me, my hardest was my younger years, because I was picked on so much because I had an afro puff and I was a fat kid.

00:17:46.941 --> 00:17:50.096
So they would say those mean things to me, like what are you gonna do?

00:17:50.096 --> 00:17:52.200
Sit on me, you know, you know that was rude, yeah.

00:17:52.200 --> 00:17:55.086
And then they'd be like you're like butter, the most fattening thing in the world.

00:17:55.086 --> 00:18:03.243
Shoot, yeah, and my parents worked a lot back then, in all honesty, and so I was very alone, like it was a very alone time.

00:18:03.243 --> 00:18:09.079
My brother was six years older, so they were working and you had less friends and you had less friends, so you were just alone.

00:18:09.099 --> 00:18:10.243
I had no friends because I was a fat kid.

00:18:10.243 --> 00:18:16.010
That was kind of weird and you would do things to be funny, like that's how I got funny.

00:18:16.010 --> 00:18:17.761
Yeah, because that's the only time people would hang out with me.

00:18:17.761 --> 00:18:23.282
But my best friend at the time wasn't always so nice to me and I would put up with it because I just needed a friend.

00:18:23.282 --> 00:18:27.898
Yeah, and then I remember this I'm doing kidding.

00:18:28.338 --> 00:18:30.881
I remember like being in my room a lot watching movies and eating.

00:18:30.881 --> 00:18:32.261
So it's funny.

00:18:32.261 --> 00:18:35.085
They say that how you cope as a kid is how you cope as an adult.

00:18:35.085 --> 00:18:37.787
Yeah, like I like to be alone and I like to eat in my bed.

00:18:37.787 --> 00:18:39.669
We discovered last week yeah, so it's weird.

00:18:39.669 --> 00:18:43.172
It's like that's how I cope is like the mechanisms you developed as a kid.

00:18:43.172 --> 00:18:50.181
Yeah, so my kids are going to, but I was very just lonely.

00:18:50.181 --> 00:18:51.922
I was very like alone.

00:18:51.922 --> 00:18:55.204
I didn't have anyone.

00:18:55.204 --> 00:18:57.405
Really my family was mean to me, my brother.

00:18:57.405 --> 00:19:06.236
That's why I freak out when my kids are mean to each other and I know it's brotherly love, like any time there was wide load on the freeway, you know those signs Like oversized load.

00:19:06.256 --> 00:19:09.402
Justin's like we need to get those when we ride with you, it's just like he's funny.

00:19:09.402 --> 00:19:17.027
But like you don't realize and we've said this before you don't realize how much you identify yourself based on what people tell you you are.

00:19:17.027 --> 00:19:25.181
Yeah, and if I could scream something to my kids or to anyone is know your identity with him and with yourself, never trust what people say you are, yeah.

00:19:25.181 --> 00:19:34.250
Besides, like one teacher, and this is why teaching, especially these days, can make me very happy or very upset, because these teachers don't realize the effect they have on these kids, right?

00:19:34.250 --> 00:19:40.713
But one time a teacher told me I was a good writer and if you know me, I can't spell that's so cute and you'll never forget.

00:19:40.755 --> 00:19:41.415
I'll never forget it.

00:19:41.616 --> 00:19:46.396
I like believed I was a good writer because she told me and I still, I do think you are a good writer.

00:19:46.436 --> 00:19:47.117
I am a good writer.

00:19:47.117 --> 00:19:49.663
Errors yeah, like I can't spell, but good.

00:19:49.884 --> 00:19:57.057
Yes, and I like she told me at once and I still believe it yeah, so people can tell me I can't spell and notice, I'm not insecure about the fact that I can't spell.

00:19:57.057 --> 00:19:58.662
I'll post with all the errors.

00:19:58.662 --> 00:20:01.435
They don't even make sense, cause that lady told me I was a good writer.

00:20:01.455 --> 00:20:01.916
Yeah, that's true.

00:20:01.916 --> 00:20:09.726
Someone told me, people told me I was smart when I was younger, and I feel like I'm so smart, the weight loss thing, you know those.

00:20:09.766 --> 00:20:09.926
Why?

00:20:09.926 --> 00:20:10.507
About comments?

00:20:10.507 --> 00:20:11.347
Thank you, justin.

00:20:11.347 --> 00:20:13.991
Yeah, you know, it's still like you don't realize.

00:20:13.991 --> 00:20:22.357
So, like at that young age there was so much coming at me and I had a relationship with God but he was like as my, like, hey, I'd like a pink bike, you know.

00:20:22.357 --> 00:20:26.172
And I remember I would like pray about, like all the things I was stealing.

00:20:26.172 --> 00:20:27.236
I was stealing money.

00:20:27.236 --> 00:20:28.818
It's like loser.

00:20:28.818 --> 00:20:30.482
I, my brother, always had money.

00:20:30.482 --> 00:20:32.226
He still has money, if anyone knows us now.

00:20:32.226 --> 00:20:35.781
My brother has a lot of money and he always had money.

00:20:35.781 --> 00:20:39.085
So I would sneak in his room, steal and I'd go to the ice cream man Because that's cool.

00:20:39.085 --> 00:20:41.442
And then my mom, like, do you remember those cigarettes?

00:20:41.442 --> 00:20:46.198
She'd tell me if I pretended to smoke them, it was real, it affected your lungs, oh, like the candy cigarettes.

00:20:46.218 --> 00:20:52.829
Yeah, I was like I'm a smoker because I puffed on the, so I was just like a weirdo, like very weird.

00:20:52.914 --> 00:20:55.401
I feel like all kids are weird, though there's kids do weird things.

00:20:55.515 --> 00:20:56.759
I didn't feel like my kids were that weird.

00:20:56.759 --> 00:21:00.080
I feel like they're weirder, like Hudson's a good time now.

00:21:00.080 --> 00:21:01.885
She's at her weird stage, like, and I love it.

00:21:02.015 --> 00:21:03.642
Her and Ken are really something yeah.

00:21:06.980 --> 00:21:10.906
But I was like a true loner inside, which is weird.

00:21:10.906 --> 00:21:16.585
But I really like to be alone, like if I'm not alone at least an hour in the day where I'm alone, I'm so grouchy.

00:21:16.585 --> 00:21:18.361
Yeah, because I like recoup alone.

00:21:18.361 --> 00:21:27.317
But Kyle grew up with all the kids so he likes to always be with me and with everybody and I'm like, eh, but this is a side note, but Kyle and I went to the movies on Friday.

00:21:27.317 --> 00:21:30.383
I didn't have a lot to do because my phone broke.

00:21:30.383 --> 00:21:31.945
This is probably why I had such a good day.

00:21:31.945 --> 00:21:37.442
Oh, my gosh, I'll tell you why I had the best day on Friday because my phone broke, because I dropped in the bathtub Thursday night.

00:21:37.575 --> 00:21:42.682
I had no phone on Friday so I was like, well, let's go to the movies, because we had to order it and it had to come in.

00:21:42.682 --> 00:21:45.155
So I couldn't go get it at the store because we got refurbished.

00:21:45.155 --> 00:21:46.297
We went to the.

00:21:46.297 --> 00:21:48.838
I saw the accountant too.

00:21:48.838 --> 00:21:50.401
I thought it was so good, was it?

00:21:50.401 --> 00:21:51.902
Oh, I thought it was Kyle didn't think it was good.

00:21:51.902 --> 00:21:52.903
I thought it was so good.

00:21:52.903 --> 00:21:53.864
No, we haven't seen that.

00:21:53.864 --> 00:21:54.503
Like it was funny.

00:21:54.503 --> 00:21:56.306
Yeah, there was like parts it was funny, it was so good.

00:21:56.306 --> 00:22:03.352
And then we like had the you know a day, like you know session, oh shoot.

00:22:17.694 --> 00:22:18.942
Yeah, attention, yeah, and then we like do something else Friday night.

00:22:18.942 --> 00:22:19.538
Well, this sounds like every day in my house.

00:22:19.462 --> 00:22:20.388
Like you know, there's the day session.

00:22:20.313 --> 00:22:22.557
Yeah, and then like the attention, like we're going on a hike there's a set, like there's a lot of it.

00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:23.055
Yeah, I feel like we do that a lot.

00:22:23.055 --> 00:22:28.675
Like, oh, really, yeah, oh see, saturdays we're very separate because, like he's going there, I like to drive separate to the games.

00:22:28.675 --> 00:22:30.661
Yeah, so we're never home on a weekend?

00:22:30.661 --> 00:22:32.747
Yeah, so, no, never like that.

00:22:32.747 --> 00:22:35.243
No, no, it was in the best mood, yeah, it's so funny.

00:22:35.243 --> 00:22:38.605
I was like gosh that, really, and it does feed your cup when you're like alone together.

00:22:38.605 --> 00:22:43.517
Yeah, but I wasn't distracted, so I was probably in a better mood because I didn't have my phone Right.

00:22:43.517 --> 00:22:47.778
Sometimes when he's trying to, that's funny.

00:22:47.798 --> 00:23:01.648
Though the day yeah, I'm not into the day, but I was talking to a friend of ours who's also a jerky, and we were talking this weekend and there was a period and this is again part of why we wanted to start the podcast Was we went to lunch and she was going to get divorced.

00:23:01.648 --> 00:23:15.880
She was done, she was fully checked out, numb, meeting, with lawyers, ready to go, and we were like no, and so we're like tell us what's wrong, right, and she was like, well, he doesn't really like it was I?

00:23:15.921 --> 00:23:16.382
can't remember.

00:23:16.382 --> 00:23:25.517
It was like he had gone through a change, I think, in job, so he was kind of going through a thing and then she was going through stuff as well and they were on each other's nerves.

00:23:25.517 --> 00:23:38.883
Family members passing, yeah, so there was two external things that were contributing happening, yeah, and then, yeah, I think she was needing support from him and he was needing support from her, kind of like our break, and they weren't giving it to each other.

00:23:38.883 --> 00:23:42.287
So then it was like it turned pretty bad.

00:23:42.567 --> 00:23:51.887
Yeah, and I think that's really normal when you're like, oh yeah, even with my dad, I was so internal and I just I was like a recluse and Kyle didn't know what was going on.

00:23:51.887 --> 00:23:58.173
And if he's stressed at work and I'm stressed at work, it's like we both need from each other, but we both don't have any left to give.

00:23:58.173 --> 00:24:03.102
But a year later or two we're talking to her and she's like our marriage has never been better.

00:24:03.102 --> 00:24:08.267
And I said to her imagine if you would have gotten divorced like you were planning on it, right?

00:24:14.035 --> 00:24:15.455
You know, but they really put all stops down, they really went to counseling, they really made each other a priority.

00:24:15.372 --> 00:24:15.988
They really changed a lot of things.

00:24:15.988 --> 00:24:16.243
They were going to church together.

00:24:16.243 --> 00:24:16.559
They hung out with different people.

00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:18.063
I think the environment you're around sometimes yeah.

00:24:18.243 --> 00:24:21.875
I feel like some of the people they were around were maybe encouraging it a little bit.

00:24:22.436 --> 00:24:34.420
Yeah, and that was one of our passions is when we sat at lunch and we're talking to her, we were like a lot of the things you are going through are very normal she was like, and he was being being a jerk or not being a jerk, but he like did something.

00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:34.820
I'm all.

00:24:34.820 --> 00:24:36.045
Yeah, that happens like every day.

00:24:36.285 --> 00:24:40.023
Yeah, it's no big deal yeah, I just feel like we want to share that, but we're not man haters.

00:24:40.023 --> 00:24:43.105
Our mover today was like are you guys gonna go to the podcast and hate on men?

00:24:43.165 --> 00:24:59.544
no, that's what I was like oh my gosh, that's what I want to reflect on for this season is I feel like some of the clips I feel like weren't like an accurate depiction of what I was saying, and I do feel like some of the things weren't taken in the right context.

00:24:59.544 --> 00:25:00.445
She's still bothered about it.

00:25:00.445 --> 00:25:01.107
I'm still bothered.

00:25:01.107 --> 00:25:03.163
Clearly, our movers think we're a man-hater.

00:25:03.163 --> 00:25:04.290
I'm like pro-man.

00:25:04.290 --> 00:25:06.959
Yeah, I'm like the opposite of a feminist.

00:25:06.959 --> 00:25:08.040
Yeah, truly.

00:25:08.040 --> 00:25:08.942
So you say yeah, yeah, truly.

00:25:08.942 --> 00:25:11.026
So you say, yeah, I really am.

00:25:11.026 --> 00:25:11.646
Though no, I know.

00:25:11.708 --> 00:25:12.895
But you know what I mean, yeah.

00:25:13.176 --> 00:25:19.934
So it was very and this is someone that personally knows us not just like a rando on TikTok, that's like you know it is mom's basement.

00:25:19.954 --> 00:25:38.630
Those randos get to you though, the randos in the mom's basement are getting to me, you know, they really get to you, but like, but he knows us and he, and so for him to think that I was like okay, I really just want us to have a clear yeah vision in season four about, like, who we are and what we stand for.

00:25:38.630 --> 00:25:39.571
What do you stand for?

00:25:39.571 --> 00:25:43.502
Well, I know you stand for anal, oh my gosh, so I don't.

00:25:43.544 --> 00:25:45.728
You can't say that and it's not even true.

00:25:45.728 --> 00:25:54.872
Yeah, you're the one that tried it no, no, I didn't no, no, I know I get it, you agree.

00:25:54.912 --> 00:25:56.413
I was just trying to ask a weird question.

00:25:56.413 --> 00:26:04.159
So, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like, yeah, I feel like we just learned a lot through the journey, totally, but I'm still learning.

00:26:04.159 --> 00:26:04.901
I don't know.

00:26:04.901 --> 00:26:07.125
But the 40s I just still really love it.

00:26:07.125 --> 00:26:10.839
I wish I could tell girls, young girls, just wait, it'll get so much easier.

00:26:10.839 --> 00:26:14.685
Yeah, but the raising kids I feel like it's trickier.

00:26:14.685 --> 00:26:22.388
The older kids is hard, the younger kids they need so much from you at all times, like you're fully, never have alone time to think.

00:26:22.409 --> 00:26:25.863
But I feel like the older kids there's a lot of doing Like getting snack, getting this, getting that.

00:26:25.863 --> 00:26:27.682
When they're older they can do that themselves.

00:26:32.835 --> 00:26:33.175
But themselves.

00:26:33.175 --> 00:26:33.877
But the problems are.

00:26:33.877 --> 00:26:34.700
So, yeah, they're letting go.

00:26:34.700 --> 00:26:35.141
That's another thing.

00:26:35.141 --> 00:26:35.481
That's been hard.

00:26:35.481 --> 00:26:46.441
Or I feel like I was talking to somebody yesterday and I said I think I'm in a phase where I feel like I'm parenting with God, whereas I'm trying to control what I can control, but I'm also letting there be breathing room, which is very scary.

00:26:46.441 --> 00:26:51.064
Yes, I'm letting breathing room happen so that the lessons can be taught while they're authentically and naturally.

00:26:51.064 --> 00:26:53.434
I'm a breathing room happen so that the lessons can be taught While they're in the house, authentically and naturally.

00:26:53.434 --> 00:26:55.923
I'm a big believer in natural consequences.

00:26:56.055 --> 00:26:59.363
But while they're still in your yes, where I can pivot with them and you can guide.

00:26:59.454 --> 00:27:03.122
Yeah, but it's very hard to let go Because I am a control person.

00:27:03.375 --> 00:27:08.423
Well, I told Ben that this weekend, after our podcast last week, I actually learned something.

00:27:08.522 --> 00:27:09.326
Did you when you listened?

00:27:09.326 --> 00:27:11.166
I last week I actually learned something did you when you listened?

00:27:11.186 --> 00:27:26.817
I told you remember when I said I relate and like it's us, the parents, and I was like, because Ben is very controlling, I think, especially with, like, our oldest, he's not as strong of a personality and so he very much does what he's told, and so Ben's constantly telling him what to do, like to the point where it's like eat breakfast.

00:27:26.817 --> 00:27:29.684
I'm like if he doesn't want to eat breakfast, he doesn't have to eat breakfast exactly, and he's like to eat breakfast Exactly.

00:27:29.684 --> 00:27:35.484
And he's like, well, he's going to football and I'm like, great, well, when he is not performing, then maybe he'll want to eat breakfast, but anyways it.

00:27:35.484 --> 00:27:57.977
I told him, I'm like you really need to work on being less controlling, cause we have two more years that he's in our house a hundred percent and I really want him to feel empowered, yeah, and so it's hard because it is hard to give them the empowering it's so hard to let go, but one of the smartest things my mom did was before that, that summer before college, she really let the rings off Like I.

00:27:58.679 --> 00:28:00.586
I was allowed to do kind of whatever I wanted.

00:28:00.586 --> 00:28:18.623
I didn't really do a lot bad besides go to the clubs that we talked about after the night, like Blizzard Beach and, and it was harmless and I had a new boyfriend that I really we had the best time, which one oh yeah, he was a good boyfriend yeah, that was fun.

00:28:18.682 --> 00:28:19.444
Oh, we drove by it.

00:28:19.484 --> 00:28:22.599
Today, the retreat yes, the retreat, that's what it was.

00:28:22.599 --> 00:28:42.848
I saw it, I was like oh, memories and we were hanging there and we were like it was like a good group, we were having so much fun and, um, we were having so much fun with like just like tp'ing or like watching movies together and I was allowed to like spend the night there which was crazy kids, but not kids anymore because we were going to college so it was weird.

00:28:43.250 --> 00:28:47.481
But when I got to, college I didn't have this desire to go crazy.

00:28:47.481 --> 00:28:49.826
I didn't drink my first two years really at all.

00:28:49.826 --> 00:28:50.167
Yeah.

00:28:50.248 --> 00:28:52.742
I still went out, but I didn't have this like rebellion.

00:28:52.742 --> 00:28:57.640
No, we really did not drink freshman year Like no at all at all and everybody did, but we were fine with it.

00:28:58.061 --> 00:28:59.969
Where I turned was when I hurt my knee.

00:28:59.969 --> 00:29:02.036
And I got depressed because I hurt my knee.

00:29:02.036 --> 00:29:04.239
It wasn't like I drank because of this.

00:29:04.239 --> 00:29:11.970
The void was I was in bed for a year and I was like, yeah, and all my friends went home and I was just up at college crutching around the snow.

00:29:11.970 --> 00:29:13.998
Yeah, and that's what really changed it for me.

00:29:13.998 --> 00:29:16.463
But I I just feel like it's smart.

00:29:16.744 --> 00:29:23.299
I was thinking one of our good friends, daughter, was over at my house last night and her parents are out of town and she's a junior and I.

00:29:23.299 --> 00:29:33.351
She had prom this weekend and so her parents are out of town for prom and I went over her weekend with her and she'll tell me like the truth, and I I'm like she made just such good decisions all weekend.

00:29:33.351 --> 00:29:34.253
I'm like, hey, are you spending the night here?

00:29:34.253 --> 00:29:35.557
She's like I'm going to go back to da da da.

00:29:35.557 --> 00:29:40.196
You know like they let her make her own decisions because she's proven that she can, right.

00:29:40.518 --> 00:29:44.685
So I feel like it's just important to release control and parent with God.

00:29:44.685 --> 00:29:52.308
But it's also hard because you're watching them learn hard lessons that you've learned, like we were talking in the car.

00:29:52.308 --> 00:29:56.906
I want to keep some of my kids' stuff private because they, you know, yeah, they're friends, listen.

00:29:56.906 --> 00:30:01.505
But like you're watching certain things happen, you're like, oh, I would turn right, I would turn right, I wouldn't do this.

00:30:01.505 --> 00:30:03.883
But I think it's important that they go through it.

00:30:03.883 --> 00:30:05.259
But it's not always easy to watch.

00:30:05.642 --> 00:30:15.885
No, but my mom was really good about that, like and trusting that I was gonna make the right choice, even while I was making the wrong one.

00:30:15.885 --> 00:30:17.551
Yeah, and I feel like I'm giving my opinion.

00:30:17.551 --> 00:30:22.042
I'm gonna give you my opinion, but I trust you and you're gonna make the right choice.

00:30:22.042 --> 00:30:23.246
You could do that too.

00:30:23.246 --> 00:30:23.767
You know what?

00:30:23.787 --> 00:30:27.809
I mean like I've given my opinion totally and I feel like she knows my opinion.

00:30:27.809 --> 00:30:29.616
I've given mine to my kids about some things.

00:30:29.616 --> 00:30:34.098
I'm like I wouldn't do this, but it's like the hot dog eating for you to figure out.

00:30:34.098 --> 00:30:34.881
I do this thing.

00:30:34.881 --> 00:30:39.320
Yeah, oh, it's the worst so I do that, I know and I do with my kids too and they listen.

00:30:39.361 --> 00:30:45.336
Yeah, because if you don't, you're an idiot that's how you make people feel where I say I wouldn't do that.

00:30:45.477 --> 00:30:52.059
But if you want, to and I used to do it at work all the time and it thing, like we call it, the hot dog thing, because I don't like hot dogs.

00:30:52.059 --> 00:30:57.583
And so one time when we were in our 20s, we were in California and we were on the beach and we were walking.

00:30:57.603 --> 00:30:58.863
We were starving, we had no money.

00:30:58.863 --> 00:31:00.183
We were with our other friend, Monica.

00:31:00.183 --> 00:31:02.404
Yeah, and it was like a dollar.

00:31:02.545 --> 00:31:11.148
I'm like, I'm going to get a hot dog on the street, but if you want to, and then you feel like you're just a piece of crap, an idiot.

00:31:11.189 --> 00:31:12.329
There's no way I could have taken a bite.

00:31:12.329 --> 00:31:15.711
She's like well, I like no, it's not that simple.

00:31:15.711 --> 00:31:18.132
It's like I'm like do you guys want to get a hot dog?

00:31:18.132 --> 00:31:18.952
And she's like no.

00:31:18.952 --> 00:31:19.972
And I'm like why?

00:31:19.972 --> 00:31:30.346
Because it was like the way she said, it was like beneath her, and I was like well, why aren't you?

00:31:30.346 --> 00:31:33.871
Well, because, and I'm like because, why You're dying to know.

00:31:34.115 --> 00:31:35.417
Like am I making a wrong choice?

00:31:35.417 --> 00:31:37.644
The lips and buttholes of the pig, it's disgusting.

00:31:37.663 --> 00:31:38.085
Did you hear that?

00:31:38.085 --> 00:31:39.248
Yeah, Did you hear what happens?

00:31:39.248 --> 00:31:40.942
It comes from a butthole of the pig.

00:31:40.942 --> 00:31:54.440
So now I'm going to sit there and eat the hot dog knowing you just told crap it's from the butthole of the pig.

00:31:54.391 --> 00:31:54.969
But I mean I'm not gonna eat that.

00:31:54.969 --> 00:31:55.440
But if you want to eat it, go for it.

00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:56.451
My kids, I'm all that's fine if you want cancer.

00:31:56.451 --> 00:31:57.203
They're like, yep, I don't care.

00:31:57.203 --> 00:32:00.648
Yeah, it's so awkward, it's like a bullying, really.

00:32:00.648 --> 00:32:04.837
Yeah, but I do it at work too and like we all joke around at work like I wouldn't price it for that.

00:32:04.877 --> 00:32:07.621
But if you wanted to sell in the market, I wouldn't put that in there.

00:32:07.621 --> 00:32:11.266
But that's up to you you want to never make a dollar by watching it for a year.

00:32:11.266 --> 00:32:11.746
Good for you.

00:32:11.746 --> 00:32:13.327
Yeah, you're like an idiot.

00:32:13.327 --> 00:32:14.269
There's no way you can do it.

00:32:14.269 --> 00:32:20.104
Yeah, but it's very powerful it is powerful, it's a very powerful like, did you do that to Kyle?

00:32:20.163 --> 00:32:21.006
is that why he listens to you?

00:32:21.006 --> 00:32:21.587
I don't know.

00:32:21.587 --> 00:32:24.286
I think you do like that's fine.

00:32:24.286 --> 00:32:30.741
If you want to raise your kids to never go on a trip with their father, then go to work, because all of a sudden I've been trying to tell him to go to Cooperstown for months.

00:32:30.741 --> 00:32:33.165
Yeah, he has one talk with you and he's not missing Cooperstown.

00:32:33.165 --> 00:32:33.867
No, I did.

00:32:33.928 --> 00:32:38.403
I told him I said, I did and I probably said, something I probably did and I was like you.

00:32:38.403 --> 00:32:41.420
You're trying to impress all these or you're trying to make these people happy.

00:32:41.420 --> 00:32:42.182
They're never gonna be happy.

00:32:42.182 --> 00:32:43.226
Who cares, you know?

00:32:43.226 --> 00:32:44.576
But I say that yeah.

00:32:44.596 --> 00:32:47.240
I'm not saying maybe the way I said it I do I'm very.

00:32:47.599 --> 00:32:53.827
My dad used to say, yeah, you can sell sunglasses to a blind person, which now that I'm thinking I'm like all sun, all blind people wear sunglasses.

00:32:53.827 --> 00:32:55.390
So like that would be an easy sell.

00:32:55.390 --> 00:33:01.064
But no, but like I am very like, uh, persuasive you're very persuasive.

00:33:01.084 --> 00:33:01.365
I'm very.

00:33:01.365 --> 00:33:03.169
That's why, at home, you get your way a lot.00:33:04.077 --> 00:33:05.361


I am very persuasive at home.00:33:05.361 --> 00:33:07.126


I can definitely get my way.00:33:07.126 --> 00:33:08.852


Yeah, yeah, it's crazy.00:33:08.852 --> 00:33:09.954


Yeah, yeah, it is crazy.00:33:09.954 --> 00:33:16.316


I don't really ever get told no, very rarely, and and I'm like, when it happens, I'm like, well, that's different, you know.00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:19.162


I'm all your whole life.00:33:19.162 --> 00:33:20.544


You've kind of been like that, though I know.00:33:20.825 --> 00:33:21.286


It's weird.00:33:21.286 --> 00:33:22.749


It is weird, I know.00:33:22.749 --> 00:33:24.141


I feel like Kennedy has a little of that.00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:35.391


I know I know, in a fight at cheer because ken tries to drink all hudson's water and I was like no, because she's like you didn't bring your own, it's up to you and they're not drinking mine.00:33:35.391 --> 00:33:39.647


And then ken told her, or hudson told her no, and ken was trying to grab it and hudson goes.00:33:39.647 --> 00:33:43.218


You don't take no for an answer and that's why your mom's always pissed off at you.00:33:43.218 --> 00:33:47.303


Hudson was right and so I go, you're right hudson.00:33:47.584 --> 00:33:49.306


I am wait, I'm sure.00:33:49.306 --> 00:33:50.988


Yeah, isn't that so funny?00:33:50.988 --> 00:33:51.528


Yeah, that is pretty.00:33:51.528 --> 00:33:52.529


Did it help?00:33:52.529 --> 00:33:53.050


I don't know.00:33:53.174 --> 00:33:54.461


She doesn't take no, though no.00:33:54.996 --> 00:33:57.539


She gets it from you, I know, and then it works on you.00:33:57.539 --> 00:34:00.501


I know that's the weirdest thing about me watching Kennedy with you.00:34:00.501 --> 00:34:01.506


It's like.00:34:01.506 --> 00:34:05.557


It's like my own self, yes, and it's working on.00:34:05.637 --> 00:34:10.061


I'm like I know she plays you for a fiddle.00:34:10.061 --> 00:34:12.242


Do not get that she is playing you.00:34:12.242 --> 00:34:13.623


And then I still want to.00:34:13.623 --> 00:34:15.224


It's weird, it is weird.00:34:15.284 --> 00:34:17.646


I've never seen someone do this to you more.00:34:17.646 --> 00:34:19.788


I know Like the boys can't win.00:34:19.788 --> 00:34:22.869


No, you're like nah it's not happening.00:34:22.869 --> 00:34:26.972


No, kennedy, you're like well, and I'm like no, I know she just got you.00:34:27.795 --> 00:34:30.603


I know I feel like Maddie does that to you too, though Maybe it's because they're so similar to us.00:34:30.603 --> 00:34:31.324


Yeah, because Maddie is like me.00:34:31.324 --> 00:34:34.762


Because I've seen Maddie do it to you and she's like well, mom, this.00:34:34.762 --> 00:34:36.199


And then you're like, yeah, you're right.00:34:36.199 --> 00:34:37.043


And I'm thinking what?00:34:37.375 --> 00:34:40.074


Yeah, it is like that, but the points are the things I care about probably.00:34:44.300 --> 00:34:47.585


It's like they know how to work you Totally.00:34:47.786 --> 00:34:48.827


Does anyone else do that to me?00:34:48.827 --> 00:34:49.849


No Like do the other kids?00:34:50.789 --> 00:34:57.594


No, I feel like it's just Maddie like knows, or it's like you're the same.00:34:57.594 --> 00:34:59.666


Yes, so it's like the points that she makes.00:34:59.686 --> 00:35:00.552


That's what Kennedy does.00:35:00.954 --> 00:35:03.543


I don't think she's trying to manipulate as much as maybe Ken is.00:35:03.543 --> 00:35:07.460


But like I think the points that she makes.00:35:07.460 --> 00:35:10.445


You're like, yeah, you're right and I'm all you know right.00:35:10.445 --> 00:35:11.909


No, yeah.00:35:11.909 --> 00:35:17.657


But it's weird Cause Ken does the same to me and it's like that's so I fall right for it Like an idiot, I know.00:35:18.297 --> 00:35:25.001


That's crazy, I know, huh, kids, yeah, so anyway.00:35:25.001 --> 00:35:26.304


So any other reflections?00:35:26.304 --> 00:35:27.708


Let's think that was it.00:35:27.708 --> 00:35:28.771


Nothing that funny.00:35:28.771 --> 00:35:33.206


The bear story was really a good time, my favorite episode was Tricia's for sure.00:35:33.447 --> 00:35:33.909


Yeah, tricia's.00:35:34.481 --> 00:35:37.106


I got a few calls on that this weekend and it was.00:35:37.106 --> 00:35:38.469


It's just amazing.00:35:38.469 --> 00:35:39.492


It was really good.00:35:39.492 --> 00:35:41.748


That was probably my favorite thing we've ever done.00:35:41.748 --> 00:35:44.284


Yeah, and I want to do a little bit more of that in the next season.00:35:44.284 --> 00:35:50.614


There's a few people I want to tell stories and I feel like hearing God work in these crazy, crazy times helps.00:35:50.614 --> 00:35:56.664


You remember, because even me, I feel like the world gets around us and you do question sometimes, like is this real or is this God?00:35:56.664 --> 00:35:57.467


Is this not God?00:35:57.467 --> 00:35:58.431


Am I hearing it right?00:35:58.619 --> 00:36:12.489


And I love learning from new perspectives and people that aren't like us, because we're just the same All the time, yeah, so it's fun to hear other people, and Trisha's story was like life-changing, though, yeah.00:36:13.068 --> 00:36:13.730


News facts.00:36:13.730 --> 00:36:15.231


We did talk about the news a lot in the beginning.00:36:15.231 --> 00:36:19.614


We tried that as a podcast, like seeing if we like, because I like talking about all that stuff.00:36:19.614 --> 00:36:21.117


Well, and we do talk about it in real life.00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:23.081


Yeah, we do, but we evolved.00:36:23.081 --> 00:36:24.344


I don't think that's as much us.00:36:24.344 --> 00:36:25.706


I feel like we learned that too.00:36:25.706 --> 00:36:36.219


Yeah, we just want to be just telling stories and best friends and we think that's like the secret to our chemistry Totally Is that it's a little almost lesbian, but not but like a weird friendship.00:36:36.219 --> 00:36:39.643


I think it's intriguing that we can talk crap to each other and be this close.00:36:40.063 --> 00:36:46.228


Yeah, and people have come up to us and said like, oh my gosh, your friendship is so Because I feel like for us it's just normal.00:36:46.228 --> 00:36:52.094


But people have come up and been like, oh my gosh, your friendship is so cool and so special and I wish I had a friend like that.00:36:52.094 --> 00:36:54.737


Yeah, and you don't realize that so many people don't have that.00:36:54.737 --> 00:36:55.516


I know it's crazy.00:36:55.516 --> 00:36:58.003


So if we can be that for them, I love that.00:36:58.003 --> 00:36:58.744


We're your new best friend.00:36:58.744 --> 00:37:00.788


Yeah, we're here.00:37:01.028 --> 00:37:03.311


Oh wait, what was I just going to say?00:37:03.311 --> 00:37:04.454


Dang it, I'm really forgetting.00:37:04.474 --> 00:37:09.601


But it's fun too, cause this is.00:37:09.601 --> 00:37:13.360


Another thing is I feel like I don't know if we're seeing more jerkies in real life or if there's more, but I feel like we're with more that listen.00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:16.827


And it's so fun because I feel like it's this Sisterhood.00:37:16.827 --> 00:37:18.371


Yes, it's like we get it.00:37:18.371 --> 00:37:29.005


It's like a secret society other, and like it's people I'm not normally close with and I feel like we're close.00:37:29.244 --> 00:37:30.527


I feel like that's so crazy.00:37:30.527 --> 00:37:31.871


Yeah, there's a lot of people.00:37:31.871 --> 00:37:33.364


I feel like you know what I'm thinking right now.00:37:33.364 --> 00:37:34.590


Yes, and you agree.00:37:34.590 --> 00:37:37.280


Yeah, it's like its own secret, like you look at each other.00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:46.853


Yeah, and I'm like so myself and you know, for me that's hard, I'm not totally myself to people, but with the, the jerkies, they know me and so it's this like understood sisterhood.00:37:46.853 --> 00:37:48.275


I agree, I like, love it.00:37:48.275 --> 00:37:53.230


I love it too, and I'll miss that over the summer, and we talked about maybe having some live shows.00:37:53.601 --> 00:37:54.945


That's our big goal for next year.00:37:54.945 --> 00:37:56.320


Yes, and we've.00:37:56.320 --> 00:38:02.971


This has been like a self-development time and this year really helped us lean into the fact that we love doing the podcast.00:38:03.119 --> 00:38:12.012


It's like a passion project for us and it was something God put on us for so long, like since before COVID for years, and I wanted to be like a motivational speaker my whole life.00:38:12.099 --> 00:38:25.007


I'm not saying this is that yeah but it scratches that itch for me and I want to be a comedian yeah so it's like something that I just feel like we're called to do this and we have like our jerkies that we really love, and if it only gets that big, we're great with it totally.00:38:25.007 --> 00:38:35.302


But we really feel like the live events would just be so fun because we'd get to talk to certain people that we don't get to see all the time we have together, because it's like so cool and I feel like we're really funny in person.00:38:35.523 --> 00:38:37.088


It's like our better like.00:38:37.088 --> 00:38:40.621


Sometimes, all of this like does intimidate us a little bit and we wonder.00:38:40.621 --> 00:38:47.351


I think this season, like getting feedback and going viral for the first time, taught us like whoa, you do have to have a thick skin for this.00:38:47.351 --> 00:38:48.755


Yes, some more than others.00:38:48.755 --> 00:38:53.811


The girl was getting like 12 syringes, like everywhere down below too.00:38:53.811 --> 00:38:56.708


No, no, but like they were calling us old.00:38:56.708 --> 00:39:00.367


That's like your biggest nightmare, yeah, and like stupid irrelevant.00:39:00.860 --> 00:39:06.672


It was hard to get through that, but then learning like what really value, values us, like what our values really are, why we're here.00:39:06.672 --> 00:39:08.326


I feel like we really learn that.00:39:08.326 --> 00:39:25.704


We're passionate about, like marriages and women supporting their husbands and loving their husbands, and my good friend told me this last week yes, I feel like one of our passions for the podcast is giving Christian women permission to not be perfect, and I love the way she worded it.00:39:25.726 --> 00:39:26.668


Because I'm clearly not.00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:33.007


Clearly she's talking about the Lord's Prayer a few episodes ago and then saying shit in the same sentence and not like we're promoting Right.00:39:33.007 --> 00:39:42.344


But I feel like in Christianity, something that's always like been hard for me is my parents never tried to be perfect and I loved it.00:39:42.344 --> 00:39:58.603


But as I dove into the church more and wanted to get more involved, I felt out of place because I wasn't perfect and everyone lives and talks like everything's so great and I just prayed for my husband and we're just great and everything's just great and I can't be fake Not that they're being fake, but we've caught.00:39:58.603 --> 00:40:00.068


Sometimes that has happened.00:40:00.068 --> 00:40:10.820


So I feel like Tisha and I's strength is that we are passionate Christians but we're so okay with sharing that we don't have it figured out and we do it a lot, and you can have a good marriage and still be annoyed with your husband sometimes.00:40:11.001 --> 00:40:16.960


Or you can have a healthy sex life with your husband and still not be in the mood, play Stabler.00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:19.086


Yeah, and still not be in the mood one day.00:40:19.086 --> 00:40:21.369


And it doesn't mean you're normal.00:40:21.659 --> 00:40:28.135


It doesn't mean that you're wrong, that it's not right.00:40:28.135 --> 00:40:33.666


Yeah, we feel like in a society where everyone's getting beat up because we compare so much on social media, we hope to be a light into the reality of things not being perfect Right, especially as women.00:40:33.860 --> 00:40:35.648


Yeah, and I feel like, and men Men love the podcast.00:40:35.648 --> 00:40:46.730


Yeah, and a realistic expectation of like what marriage looks like, and I feel like we both have good marriages, so it's like I love to be able to share the things that work, the things that don't work, like you know.00:40:47.291 --> 00:41:06.572


And even if you don't have a good marriage and even if, like we have a few like jerkies that have been divorced and they love hearing the stories because they can reflect on where things went wrong, why they went wrong or you know, you're right about all those things that maybe it wasn't perfect and this and that, but why I left was so much greater than the reasons we're saying.00:41:07.092 --> 00:41:08.304


Yeah, we don't have those reasons.00:41:08.820 --> 00:41:10.146


Like there's reasons to leave.00:41:10.146 --> 00:41:11.525


We're not saying that's not true.00:41:11.525 --> 00:41:27.795


I have friends that have been divorced and they are better people because they're divorced and they become and it was God's plan in in so many ways, like there's things that come from that, and so I feel like it's just relatable to the like what you are doing right and what you did right in the past, like it wasn't workable.00:41:28.880 --> 00:41:29.282


It wasn't healthy.00:41:29.282 --> 00:41:31.380


Well, if I would have married any of the boyfriends Me too it wouldn't have been right.00:41:31.380 --> 00:41:33.628


We would have wouldn't have lost it.00:41:33.807 --> 00:41:35.646


I know I did talk a lot of crap about my ex-boyfriends.00:41:35.646 --> 00:41:36.349


I do feel bad.00:41:36.349 --> 00:41:42.748


They probably aren't around anymore because they've been mad than last season.00:41:42.829 --> 00:41:46.034


Really, I mean not the strangers on TikTok, but the real See.00:41:46.074 --> 00:41:47.255


I got in a lot of trouble this season.00:41:47.255 --> 00:41:49.726


Secret Lives of Mormon Wives really got me in trouble.00:41:49.967 --> 00:41:52.047


Oh yeah, and they're coming out with a new season.00:41:52.047 --> 00:41:53.954


I think I'm going to watch it.00:41:54.378 --> 00:41:59.628


No, Did you see that Blake Lively's coming out with Simple Favor 2 after all those videos of her talking crap with Anna Kendrick?00:41:59.789 --> 00:42:00.050


I know.00:42:07.219 --> 00:42:07.360


I can't.00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:08.503


But I saw, yeah, blake Clivey was a big talk of the season.00:42:08.503 --> 00:42:08.905


That was a big one.00:42:08.905 --> 00:42:14.425


We did get political in the beginning and we decided I don't really care to talk about that, yeah, um, and then we also.00:42:14.505 --> 00:42:18.199


I love a conspiracy, but if it comes up naturally in real life.00:42:18.199 --> 00:42:22.090


If you want to pull me aside, jerkies, we'll talk, you know but I don't need to put it on here.00:42:22.380 --> 00:42:23.804


Yeah, because we the hate mail got.00:42:23.804 --> 00:42:25.590


Yeah, I'm not people.00:42:25.630 --> 00:42:33.074


Literally, we got an email from someone and he was like your podcast is despicable, like you guys should die.00:42:33.074 --> 00:42:35.621


It was like I sent a screenshot to crystal.00:42:35.621 --> 00:42:38.088


I'm like this is Kyle my husband was fighting.00:42:38.128 --> 00:42:42.612


He you know he got tiktok and he's fighting with people on tiktok who are making fun of us so funny.00:42:42.632 --> 00:42:49.012


Cj went on there and was fighting with people my oldest, it's cute but Paigeorbo and Craig, their breakup was legendary.00:42:49.519 --> 00:42:50.786


That was like season three.00:42:50.786 --> 00:42:52.085


I can't get enough of the breakup.00:42:52.085 --> 00:42:53.686


I'm obsessed with Paige DeSorbo.00:42:53.686 --> 00:42:57.257


Yeah, literally that's my podcast idol.00:42:57.257 --> 00:43:00.141


Yeah, even though I talk crap, I said her and Craig were going to break up for years.00:43:00.141 --> 00:43:01.322


Yeah, yeah, I said he wasn't.00:43:01.322 --> 00:43:02.503


That's my only thing.00:43:02.523 --> 00:43:03.865


I know I'm wonderful Ever meet them.00:43:03.865 --> 00:43:06.949


I feel like we will really like yeah, let's say it here Now.00:43:06.949 --> 00:43:12.295


I feel like God lays things on your heart for a reason and I'm not giving up until we're on a stage.00:43:12.295 --> 00:43:28.601


I picture it, maybe like we've always talked about, like being on certain things, like it's going to happen, and I really want to write a book, yeah, about all the weird things.00:43:28.601 --> 00:43:36.782


Yeah, anyone, I don't know which one, not where they're gonna make me be Illuminati or anything you know, because I would like to also sell out Radio City Music Hall, but I'm like to get in there.00:43:36.802 --> 00:43:41.628


You might have to do something yeah, I'm not interested in selling my soul committed suicide.00:43:41.628 --> 00:43:45.561


Yeah, as we're not talking about conspiracy, I know, but come on and like right before.00:43:45.561 --> 00:43:46.063


She's all I.00:43:46.063 --> 00:43:47.068


I am very happy.00:43:47.068 --> 00:43:50.630


I am not going to commit suicide If something happens to me it's scary.00:43:51.072 --> 00:43:52.039


Yeah, are you saying that here now?00:43:52.039 --> 00:43:52.621


Well, did you see a?00:43:52.641 --> 00:43:54.125


bus hit her right before yeah.00:43:54.365 --> 00:43:55.027


But it didn't work.00:43:55.027 --> 00:43:56.210


Yeah, I know.00:43:56.411 --> 00:43:56.672


Yeah.00:44:00.621 --> 00:44:05.503


It's so yeah, yeah, could be not so big, because I do think I don't like Hudson.00:44:05.503 --> 00:44:15.047


My daughter's a redhead and tall and long, very different body than her mother, and people tell me all the time she's Shemado and I'm like, eh, that world is something I don't want to dabble in.00:44:15.188 --> 00:44:19.889


No, so like in order to get big if we have to go there, we just don't really care about getting bigger.00:44:19.889 --> 00:44:24.132


That's another thing we learned, yes, this season that we don't really care about being the biggest podcast.00:44:24.132 --> 00:44:24.871


No, god has a plan.00:44:24.871 --> 00:44:28.432


We just hope that our listeners and we have like a good chunk that are loyal.00:44:28.432 --> 00:44:30.954


That's all we care about is like relating with women.00:44:30.954 --> 00:44:32.855


We don't really care to be name and lights.00:44:32.855 --> 00:44:34.735


That was my whole thing with work too.00:44:34.735 --> 00:44:35.597


I think I've really learned.00:44:35.597 --> 00:44:40.079


That's not the biggest thing, yeah, yeah, but I feel like we've learned a lot.00:44:40.079 --> 00:44:45.170


Yeah, tisha, I feel like you've opened up more this season.00:44:45.170 --> 00:44:49.219


Last season, I mean, you did get weird about Justin Bieber after that whole scandal.00:44:49.219 --> 00:44:50.240


Yeah, you did get.00:44:50.240 --> 00:44:50.461


Like.00:44:50.461 --> 00:44:53.530


You know, our good friend said that Tisha's being edited.00:44:53.530 --> 00:44:54.452


You could tell like you were.00:44:54.452 --> 00:44:58.840


But I feel like you've opened up more about like telling Ben shut.00:44:58.860 --> 00:45:13.755


The F up was one of my favorite things too, because when I was listening to that story, I'm like I feel that Like sometimes I just one of his friends texted him and was like my wife told me about this and he's like, and my husband was cause he doesn't listen, I don't listen, he doesn't listen.00:45:14.036 --> 00:45:19.420


He was like did you say that on the?00:45:19.460 --> 00:45:22.565


podcast, how you told me to shut the F up, and I was like, yeah, he wasn't mad, though.00:45:22.565 --> 00:45:23.385


And he was like why?00:45:23.385 --> 00:45:25.648


And I was like, well, well, it's relatable, yeah, and I it wasn't.00:45:25.648 --> 00:45:29.893


I was just saying I was annoyed with you and like he knows me enough and he's very secure.00:45:29.893 --> 00:45:31.335


That's one thing I love about him.00:45:31.335 --> 00:45:36.094


He's like very secure and he makes me more secure because he is.00:45:36.195 --> 00:45:53.648


Yeah, he's like when I was stressed when everyone was saying he was gonna leave me, because I said I didn't want to sleep with him every minute, and I said sometimes I play dead um, and I was like upset because I was getting so much hate on TikTok, and so I I like played the clip for him and I'm like this is so upsetting and he was like who cares?00:45:53.648 --> 00:45:55.440


You know, we have a good marriage who cares about even things.00:45:55.440 --> 00:46:00.471


So like his support is like he is the most supportive husband.00:46:00.471 --> 00:46:01.432


I will say that about him.00:46:01.432 --> 00:46:02.001


Oh, he really is.00:46:02.001 --> 00:46:04.585


I've never met a more supportive person of anything I do.00:46:04.585 --> 00:46:08.550


I'm like so, so I'm going to go and, you know, do the weirdest thing.00:46:08.550 --> 00:46:11.454


And he's like great, yeah, you're amazing, he's so supportive.00:46:11.659 --> 00:46:14.398


Again, though, having one person believe in you can change everything.00:46:14.539 --> 00:46:24.585


He believes in me 100% and he's so supportive, so he is very okay with me sharing things, like I think, as long as I don't like say something to which I'm like Does he know about the Chick-fil-A?00:46:24.706 --> 00:46:27.186


when you said I don't know how much more can I say.00:46:27.427 --> 00:46:29.289


It's like I don't think I could say anything more.00:46:30.028 --> 00:46:37.534


I know Kyle really is an avid listener, so I just get in trouble when I think I talk about he's like I got ripped today.00:46:37.875 --> 00:46:43.722


Yeah, but Kyle likes things more private, though I feel like no yeah.00:46:43.722 --> 00:46:45.246


No, he's like me, he says things.00:46:45.385 --> 00:46:47.693


He says it all Like it's so embarrassing.00:46:47.693 --> 00:46:49.199


I feel like if Ben listened he might not like it.00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:57.347


He had some beverages this weekend he's so funny when he drinks and Maddie's friend was over and he went in there and he laid on the bed with them and he was like, yeah, you know.00:47:08.440 --> 00:47:10.469


And he's, like your mom, a good time calling Ben come to the casino.00:47:10.489 --> 00:47:13.681


So he was telling me to go to the casino and I was like, no, we should go though.00:47:13.681 --> 00:47:15.449


Oh, we've got things to do I know.00:47:15.911 --> 00:47:18.422


Yeah, that's the thing I'm gonna work on being less gambler, but let's go.00:47:18.422 --> 00:47:21.771


Yeah, she became a gambler this season and then I am not anymore.00:47:21.771 --> 00:47:24.224


But we really thank you guys for listening.00:47:24.224 --> 00:47:27.393


Thank Melissa, who's with We'll share a picture with her as well.00:47:27.393 --> 00:47:29.146


She's been super positive for us.00:47:29.146 --> 00:47:31.726


She's a really strong woman that we admire really a lot.00:47:31.726 --> 00:47:33.070


She does big things in her life.00:47:33.070 --> 00:47:34.967


So, Melissa, we thank you so much for everything.00:47:35.400 --> 00:47:38.911


Tyler, who is our producer Hi Daddy, this is his studio.00:47:38.911 --> 00:47:40.480


He was really, really helpful.00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:41.742


He believed in us from the get-go.00:47:41.742 --> 00:47:44.045


He's he has really helped us lean into who we are.00:47:44.045 --> 00:47:46.489


I think that really helped us like be more ourselves.00:47:46.489 --> 00:47:47.911


His studio is amazing.00:47:47.911 --> 00:47:48.753


His staff is amazing.00:47:48.753 --> 00:47:49.755


They deal with our crazy.00:47:49.755 --> 00:47:51.090


We've gotten crazy many times.00:47:51.090 --> 00:47:52.746


Yeah, he's so supportive of us.00:47:52.746 --> 00:47:55.266


Dana, who got us started we love her.00:47:55.266 --> 00:47:56.565


We're so thankful for her.00:47:56.565 --> 00:48:00.027


She's still always supporting us on the side, does stuff for our business.00:48:00.027 --> 00:48:00.949


We love her.00:48:00.949 --> 00:48:06.835


We're obsessed with Dana and All of you guys who meet us in person or message us like share the podcast.00:48:06.835 --> 00:48:08.077


It really helps us keep going.00:48:08.077 --> 00:48:10.043


Tisha's still here and we're coming back.00:48:10.083 --> 00:48:14.309


Season four no, like they don't understand, we send each other screenshots of it.00:48:14.309 --> 00:48:20.509


And like it's so nice All the messages, because you feel stupid, like we feel stupid at times, Like what are we doing?00:48:20.509 --> 00:48:22.206


No one cares what we have to say.00:48:22.206 --> 00:48:33.615


No, it's like I want to quit every day and then like the messages, or even just like any little encouraging thing is so nice, it goes so far.00:48:33.635 --> 00:48:38.574


But lean in this summer, go on a trip like if I could tell people like I just think this trip's with your family?00:48:38.594 --> 00:48:40.722


no, I'm just kidding, no we just talked to someone this morning.00:48:40.722 --> 00:48:46.389


They said Kyle and I were talking about it this morning and you know I am big Dave Ramsey, big debt free.00:48:46.389 --> 00:48:47.215


I lean into that.00:48:47.215 --> 00:48:48.721


But there we have a family.00:48:48.721 --> 00:48:52.021


That's good, that's putting some things on the credit card to go on a trip and it's like Kyle's like.00:48:52.021 --> 00:48:57.563


But sometimes you just have to and like to save your marriage or to save your life or to save your livelihood.00:48:57.563 --> 00:49:02.222


It's so important that in this life that we work so hard out, we're getting beaten up every day.00:49:02.222 --> 00:49:04.547


It's so important that you go and enjoy whatever it is.00:49:04.547 --> 00:49:14.496


Go on a hike like go say you know, camping, just go do something you enjoy, even if it doesn't make sense, if you don't have the money, you don't have the time off.00:49:14.496 --> 00:49:15.239


Find a way to make that happen.00:49:15.239 --> 00:49:17.005


I so believe that's the secret.00:49:17.005 --> 00:49:18.369


To like sanity.00:49:18.369 --> 00:49:21.159


Even Melissa does yoga, hot yoga, every morning.00:49:21.159 --> 00:49:24.164


I just think sometimes we don't make those things enough of a priority.00:49:24.324 --> 00:49:26.588


Well, the day-to-day gets so mundane.00:49:26.588 --> 00:49:30.114


It's so important, especially with your like, life can change at any moment.00:49:30.114 --> 00:49:34.431


So with your kids and your husband you never know Take the trip, take the trip.00:49:34.639 --> 00:49:38.068


Even going to Guatemala last year was one of my favorite things I've ever done.00:49:38.068 --> 00:49:38.789


Just take the trip.00:49:38.789 --> 00:49:39.713


Whatever it is, do it.00:49:39.713 --> 00:49:42.967


Do the thing that scares you, and we're going to have lives next year.00:49:42.967 --> 00:49:44.469


That's our biggest thing.00:49:44.469 --> 00:49:45.889


Season four is going to be better than ever.00:49:45.889 --> 00:49:46.990


We're going to play on it.00:49:47.251 --> 00:49:57.088


We're going to grow on our break that helps us, like, evolve and listen to what God's calling is for us, but we'll be back in August and we can't wait to tell you about what happens from here to then.00:49:57.088 --> 00:49:58.092


Thanks for listening.00:49:58.092 --> 00:50:06.527


Welcome to jerking around a podcast that makes you feel better about yourself, because we're a mess just like you, and crystal makes fun of me, and it's great and it's real.